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My German neighbors make me very uncomfortable
I'm french (F 30) and live for 5 years in Germany in a nice studio apartment with 7 other neighbors. They are all people in their 50s. I'm kind of scared of them, especially the "mean neighbor".
When I moved in, I was stuck abroad because of the covid pandemic, so I had to pay a company to move my belongings in the new apartment, and I was not present. Then I arrived in the apartment and didn't feel comfortable ringing the door of my neighbors because it was the peak of the pandemic and I had just travelled from the other side of the world.
On the first day, I tried to find the laundry room but opening random doors in the basement as it was my first time there, and ended up meeting the mean neighbor, as I was trying to enter her private basement storage and she was inside. She looked at me like I was a burglar so I apologized explaining who I was and what I was looking for. All other interactions with the neighbors was very short as again, peak of covid. This lasted weeks, months, and stayed the same eventually.
Several time, I've got anonymous handwritten notes on my door reproaching me things: not turning of the light (half of the lights in the hall have a timer, half need manual switch off, I did not know), not closing properly the door. It felt very cold and agressive. The mean neighbor is the kind to see me coming home by the window, then going downstairs to check that the door is closed and ringing to my door to complain. When I'm in the garden I see her check on me from the window or her balcony, it makes me very uncomfortable and feeling oppressed.
I sublet my appartment for 3 month to a girl with the agreement of the landlord, as I was going abroad for an internship. That girl created a lot of problems. It was outside my control and I was very stressed because stucked abroad and all my belongings were in this apartment.
My next door neighbor had my phone number, but instead of writing to me there were issues, the neighbors complained to my landlord, who started threatening me to expell the girl, and me and my stuff, it was very stressfull, so much that I took a week off and a 1000€ flight from my pocket to come back, check on the appartment and clean it as she left.
Anyway, since then I have been at my maximum of low profile neighbor, but recently on a Sunday 3pm, I got a note again on my wash machine, signed from the mean neighbor to tell me I can't do my laundry outside the Ruhezeit. I checked online and learned that 1-3pm Ruhezeit is a thing. Now, there are no children in the residence, everyone works day time, my apartment is on top of the laundry room and I can't hear it, and she lives alone on the second floor. So I really can not comprehend how this would bother anyone. But still she took 10mn from her Sunday to write this on a paper and come stick it to my machine. It drove me crazy.
And if German was my native language I would confront her, but my German is not native and when I get emotional or stressed I lose all my words, so I feel like I can't defend myself.
Bref I'm very uncomfortable, I try to avoid them all, I always try to folllow every rules and not bother anyone but they always have random complains, accusing me of things that are not even my fault.
Maybe I'm just being to sensitive. But I wished I could count a minimum on my neighbors when there is a problem or when I'm not home. It's the opposite.
Is there any way I can improve this relationships? Is their behavior typically German? The language is quite blocking as although my German is close to fluent, I get flustered whenever I run into them, which makes me appear even more weird --'.
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I'm french (F 30) and live for 5 years in Germany in a nice studio apartment with 7 other neighbors. They are all people in their 50s. I'm kind of scared of them, especially the "mean neighbor".
When I moved in, I was stuck abroad because of the covid pandemic, so I had to pay a company to move my belongings in the new apartment, and I was not present. Then I arrived in the apartment and didn't feel comfortable ringing the door of my neighbors because it was the peak of the pandemic and I had just travelled from the other side of the world.
On the first day, I tried to find the laundry room but opening random doors in the basement as it was my first time there, and ended up meeting the mean neighbor, as I was trying to enter her private basement storage and she was inside. She looked at me like I was a burglar so I apologized explaining who I was and what I was looking for. All other interactions with the neighbors was very short as again, peak of covid. This lasted weeks, months, and stayed the same eventually.
Several time, I've got anonymous handwritten notes on my door reproaching me things: not turning of the light (half of the lights in the hall have a timer, half need manual switch off, I did not know), not closing properly the door. It felt very cold and agressive. The mean neighbor is the kind to see me coming home by the window, then going downstairs to check that the door is closed and ringing to my door to complain. When I'm in the garden I see her check on me from the window or her balcony, it makes me very uncomfortable and feeling oppressed.
I sublet my appartment for 3 month to a girl with the agreement of the landlord, as I was going abroad for an internship. That girl created a lot of problems. It was outside my control and I was very stressed because stucked abroad and all my belongings were in this apartment.
My next door neighbor had my phone number, but instead of writing to me there were issues, the neighbors complained to my landlord, who started threatening me to expell the girl, and me and my stuff, it was very stressfull, so much that I took a week off and a 1000€ flight from my pocket to come back, check on the appartment and clean it as she left.
Anyway, since then I have been at my maximum of low profile neighbor, but recently on a Sunday 3pm, I got a note again on my wash machine, signed from the mean neighbor to tell me I can't do my laundry outside the Ruhezeit. I checked online and learned that 1-3pm Ruhezeit is a thing. Now, there are no children in the residence, everyone works day time, my apartment is on top of the laundry room and I can't hear it, and she lives alone on the second floor. So I really can not comprehend how this would bother anyone. But still she took 10mn from her Sunday to write this on a paper and come stick it to my machine. It drove me crazy.
And if German was my native language I would confront her, but my German is not native and when I get emotional or stressed I lose all my words, so I feel like I can't defend myself.
Bref I'm very uncomfortable, I try to avoid them all, I always try to folllow every rules and not bother anyone but they always have random complains, accusing me of things that are not even my fault.
Maybe I'm just being to sensitive. But I wished I could count a minimum on my neighbors when there is a problem or when I'm not home. It's the opposite.
Is there any way I can improve this relationships? Is their behavior typically German? The language is quite blocking as although my German is close to fluent, I get flustered whenever I run into them, which makes me appear even more weird --'.
#local
source
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