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oI whichI watched and graded all of Messi’s 800 goals to determine their average quality
Leo Messi is the greatest footballer to ever live. He’s a technical wizard, a world-class passer, an alien goal scoring machine and a remarkably consistent performer. For almost two decades, he’s been banging in ridiculous goals at an absurd clip. Last year, shortly after the World Cup, he passed 800 career senior goals (for Argentina, Barcelona and PSG).
To me, what separates Messi from someone like Ronaldo, or Haaland, or even Mbappe, (beyond the playmaking https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LTfVFNE also takes him a level above) are the goals he scores out of absolutely nothing. The goals where he assesses the defense, decides no one can stop him, and singlehandedly (sometimes using a teammate or two) breaks down defenses consisting of grown men who are being paid handsome sums to stop him.
Anecdotally, I felt (before doing this research) that Messi had scored many goals that no one else on the planet was or is capable of. He also scores an obscene number of goals that would be the career highlight for the vast majority of footballers — to Messi, it’s just another tally mark.
Anyways, maybe I’m having a manic episode, or maybe I’m just bored, but I decided to go through his (first) 800 goals, and try to categorize each one according to a subjective (but hopefully fair and transparent) rating system (1-5). Yes, this is an imperfect method. The goal: see if my perception of Messi’s goalscoring record matched reality. (I also couldn’t think of anything better to do to occupy my mind while I go through a breakup).
The results, are, as you’d expect, out of this world. If you ever do have a spare hour and forty-five minutes, the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IscGtF_A14used as a resource is worth a watch. We really will never see anyone like him ever again.
OK, let’s get started. All goals I mention are titled by their # and the opponent, and have a YouTube link attached. If anyone is interested in looking at each and every grade, the whole spreadsheet is available here https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/e/2PACX-1vQxlp2pHKdIMwKPzW7ImATBOttWJFJ6cC5DlLVC01qc7fc23U4frU1QMbHOY0--G_5YIbA2rUlgexxy/pubhtml.
**LEVEL ONE**
Not much to see here, just tap-ins or fluke goals. A 1 is a goal you or I could probably score. It’s the kind of goal that gets you the “tap-in merchant” title. Like this goal (30 vs Gimnastic https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=Ds0zGqvzxI0tA4K3&t=299) r this one (556 vs Real Sociedad https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=ec7LH6mIn8z8PbCS&t=4550)According to my judgement, only 63 of Messi’s 800 goals, or 7.8% were graded as 1s.
Penalty goals probably fall somewhere between a 1 and a 2, but for this exercise I decided to omit them from the ranking system. Out of his first 800 goals, I counted 110 penalty goals, or 13.ined, between tap-ins, flukes and penalties, thats about 20% of Messi’s goals.
**LEVEL TWO**
A 2 is a pure strikers finish, a goal that you’d expect a quality goal scorer to convert. Nothing fancy. These are the kind of goals that a Lewandowski or Haaland make their careers on. Like this goal (592 vs Real Betis https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=Ch0_pxd6SvpfKxkB&t=4863 this goal (241 v Valencia https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=gNlvXf9ajS6DfQE-&t=2014) or this goal (625 vs Girona https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=QLR5_zCSf4rnPebr&t=5133). Messi is a clinical finisher, one of the very best, and if he only scored these kind of goals, he would still be a special, special player.
By my judgement, 296 of Messi’s 800 goals, or 37%, were 2s. This is the most common categorization, edging out the 3s.
If you’re keeping track, before we move onto level 3, we’ve categorized roughly 57% of Messi’s goals as level one or two, including penalties. If we only count non-penalty goals, levels one and two comprise just over 52% of Messi’s goals.
**LEVEL THREE**
This is the quintessential, bread and butter Messi goal that makes him so special. How many times have we seen him break down a defender and, seemingly out of nothing, be one on one with the keeper? How many times have we seen him produce a singular piece of skill that leads to a goal? How many one touch wall pass combinations has he played to slice through defenses like they weren’t there? This is the kind of goal that makes Messi, Messi.
Every goal from here on up would be featured prominently on 99.9% f players career highlight reel. We’re talking goals like 620 vs. Huesca https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKCj7EaMnrere Leo receives the ball in an unthreatening position, then proceeds to humiliate a defender and cleanly finish off the goal. We’re talking 685 vs Atletico Madrid https://youtu.be/5DACmHDL6A4?si=42O5BeSvFkHnPggY&t=72, where he rides a tackle, plays a wall pass and tucks the finish away neatly. Creative, buttery control and cheeky chip in El Clasico (199 vs Real Madrid https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=4H0Ja_yqX4PelLk4&t=1664). High press pickpocket, go around 2 defenders and finish calmly (19 vs Recreativo de Huelva https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=YW_nO0PhPXZrKydw&t=184).
Skin your man, play a one-two and bang the outside-the-box shot in off the post (161 vs Almeria https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=VxKG6eXAiXeScubV&t=2992). ick the ball up at the half-way line, drive at and around the defense and finish neatly (495 vs Eibar https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=J8WmpiNNHi0D7EmU&t=4080). mbarrass the entire defense (613 vs Villarreal https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=aas1Lis3L8WpYhbV&t=503inside at full speed and freeze the keeper (548 vs Celta de Vigo https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=wOesdeaUji7CxXwq&t=4497). Wriggle through the lines and bury the shot in the far corner (15 vs Sevilla https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=Lvx_PHK5ChRxpIOA&t=142). A physics-defying curler from outside the box (116 vs Getafe https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=RN_zi7e1mbQoypna&t=958).
This is the level where Messi creates magic out of thin air. These are goals that very few footballers have ever been capable of scoring, and that none have been capable of scoring at such volume as Messi. After watching all of his goals, what’s really remarkable is how unremarkable goals like this become after watching literally hundreds of them. Even for someone like me that has followed pretty much Messi’s whole career, so many of these special goals were brand new (which was a wonderful experience).
By my count, a whopping 232 of Messi’s 800 goals, or 29%, were 3s. If we’re only counting non-penalty goals, 3s are just under 37% of his goals. This was the second most common categorization, after the 2s.
**LEVEL FOUR**
This tier is where Messi goes from GOAT contender to the unquestionable greatest footballer to step foot on a pitch. These are goals which would be difficult to score on any pitch, under any circumstances, never mind against the best competition the world has to offer. If I ever scored a goal like this in my morning pickup league I might retire on the spot.
These goals typically involve beating 2 or more defenders on the dribble (83 v Malaga https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmUWUdRcS2o9 vs Valladolid https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=oeeWDIhgbPhp7bz6&t=2648, 547 vs Celta de Vigo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4e5d0W9ETA, 368 vs Getafe https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=9b8S_Ll6bwWEgK8U&t=3053, and the 2-for-1 solo goal special with 234 and 235 vs Malaga https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=QmU_EdEFsbxPO4G8&t=1950), an otherworldly piece of skill (187 vs Arsenal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyWOYxonkC8), a transcendent team passing sequence with Messi at the epicenter (168 vs Real Sociedad https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=OaIkYuW6otq5bAut&t=1396), or combination of the three (335 vs Deportivo La Coruña https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=jQ6XQdRNqORdiGYT&t=2790). Level four also includes most of Messi’s free kicks, which are almost uniformly spectacular. Some of his best include 508 vs USA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNO9TdGHw5Q, 665 vs Liverpool https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KdJDPWskVk, and 298 vs Real Madrid https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=GLMYfPNfGxiYmtIf&t=2416.
The goal that Leo produces in 656 vs Real Betis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT9kPvzYPhs ends Ray Hudson into pentecostal tongues. Then theres 735 vs Athletic Club https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=xXFrbzIHjfh47y2f&t=5821 which Messi retrieves the ball in his own half, runs past three defenders, uses a series of one touch passes to beat the rest of the defense, cuts past one more helpless defender and slots it home cooly. As much as we might try to describe the little genius, sometimes we are just lost for words (126 v Real Zaragoza https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=fbGg-1GFxYdjFon-&t=1038). After all, sometimes, you can only know magic when you see it yourself (253 vs Sevilla https://youtu.be/yIOb_fig1-g?si=u1He9jringCpanl8&t=37).
There’s also the goals whose quality is only matched by their monumental importance, like the eerily similar goals Messi scored in 2014 vs Iran https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMnGE-FcIqc and 2022 vs Mexico https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osdCpqcX6change the momentum for those Argentina teams (who both, of course, made the finals). Others include Leo’s Champions League Final clinching goal (196 vs Manchester United https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=foNhHBV-4jA40ss7&t=1627) and beautiful team counter-attack in extra time of the 2022 World Cup Final (793 vs France https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=6eM0b6pqGBi-s6oE&t=6227).
In total, I graded 94 of Messi’s 800 goals, or 11.75s. He has scored a comparable number of penalties to goals of this quality, which is, in a word, outrageous. If we don’t count penalties, 13.6% of his goals are on this level.
**LEVEL FIVE**
The only goals I gave 5s were:
ankara messi https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlnHNi0hdO0
nderful wonderful wonderful https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pWt_vG9_Ug
s a brilliant run from Messi, can he go all the waaaayyyyy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBaXSEkzAEE
aaaaahhh are you kidding me? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYMl8k-mlHo
ere he is again https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vxakpl2eD6Y
These are all-time classic goals which don’t need much explaining. The Boateng goal is probably a level too high, but that goal was just such a bolt of lightning in the moment, and I remember watching it live and losing my mind, and this is my list, so its here.
**Conclusions and notes**
First, a couple of notable performances (from the perspective of my metrics): first, Messi’s 2011 hat trick vs Atletico Madrid https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=LSXSf-3DqchZPqDK&t=1736ich I graded out as a 4-4-3, and his 2014 hat trick vs Sevilla https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=4wzd4siNgoHbmpbN&t=3412, which I graded out as a 4-3-4. Good stuff.
Anyways, what did we learn that we didn’t already know? Probably not much. I did confirm my hunch that Messi has a ridiculously high average level of difficulty on his goals. The average score that a non-penalty Messi goal received (a sample size of 690 goals) wasns that his average goal was somewhere between a quality strikers finish and a goal that most can only dream of. As the average tells us, roughly HALF of Messi’s non-penalty goals are goals rated 3 or above. Absurd.
I also learned that there are few better ways to distract yourself during a breakup than to watch and grade a 2 hour long video of Messi goals. And that whatever happens in this life, we are all blessed to have grown up watching this special man grace the pitch.
Thanks for reading through the results of my week’s obsession. At the very least, I hope you got to relive some classic Messi screamers. Cheers. 2.h53, ,
hwitwo % zM , , 5). M ) 7o5%. .
A XYE,
source
oI whichI watched and graded all of Messi’s 800 goals to determine their average quality
Leo Messi is the greatest footballer to ever live. He’s a technical wizard, a world-class passer, an alien goal scoring machine and a remarkably consistent performer. For almost two decades, he’s been banging in ridiculous goals at an absurd clip. Last year, shortly after the World Cup, he passed 800 career senior goals (for Argentina, Barcelona and PSG).
To me, what separates Messi from someone like Ronaldo, or Haaland, or even Mbappe, (beyond the playmaking https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LTfVFNE also takes him a level above) are the goals he scores out of absolutely nothing. The goals where he assesses the defense, decides no one can stop him, and singlehandedly (sometimes using a teammate or two) breaks down defenses consisting of grown men who are being paid handsome sums to stop him.
Anecdotally, I felt (before doing this research) that Messi had scored many goals that no one else on the planet was or is capable of. He also scores an obscene number of goals that would be the career highlight for the vast majority of footballers — to Messi, it’s just another tally mark.
Anyways, maybe I’m having a manic episode, or maybe I’m just bored, but I decided to go through his (first) 800 goals, and try to categorize each one according to a subjective (but hopefully fair and transparent) rating system (1-5). Yes, this is an imperfect method. The goal: see if my perception of Messi’s goalscoring record matched reality. (I also couldn’t think of anything better to do to occupy my mind while I go through a breakup).
The results, are, as you’d expect, out of this world. If you ever do have a spare hour and forty-five minutes, the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IscGtF_A14used as a resource is worth a watch. We really will never see anyone like him ever again.
OK, let’s get started. All goals I mention are titled by their # and the opponent, and have a YouTube link attached. If anyone is interested in looking at each and every grade, the whole spreadsheet is available here https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/e/2PACX-1vQxlp2pHKdIMwKPzW7ImATBOttWJFJ6cC5DlLVC01qc7fc23U4frU1QMbHOY0--G_5YIbA2rUlgexxy/pubhtml.
**LEVEL ONE**
Not much to see here, just tap-ins or fluke goals. A 1 is a goal you or I could probably score. It’s the kind of goal that gets you the “tap-in merchant” title. Like this goal (30 vs Gimnastic https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=Ds0zGqvzxI0tA4K3&t=299) r this one (556 vs Real Sociedad https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=ec7LH6mIn8z8PbCS&t=4550)According to my judgement, only 63 of Messi’s 800 goals, or 7.8% were graded as 1s.
Penalty goals probably fall somewhere between a 1 and a 2, but for this exercise I decided to omit them from the ranking system. Out of his first 800 goals, I counted 110 penalty goals, or 13.ined, between tap-ins, flukes and penalties, thats about 20% of Messi’s goals.
**LEVEL TWO**
A 2 is a pure strikers finish, a goal that you’d expect a quality goal scorer to convert. Nothing fancy. These are the kind of goals that a Lewandowski or Haaland make their careers on. Like this goal (592 vs Real Betis https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=Ch0_pxd6SvpfKxkB&t=4863 this goal (241 v Valencia https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=gNlvXf9ajS6DfQE-&t=2014) or this goal (625 vs Girona https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=QLR5_zCSf4rnPebr&t=5133). Messi is a clinical finisher, one of the very best, and if he only scored these kind of goals, he would still be a special, special player.
By my judgement, 296 of Messi’s 800 goals, or 37%, were 2s. This is the most common categorization, edging out the 3s.
If you’re keeping track, before we move onto level 3, we’ve categorized roughly 57% of Messi’s goals as level one or two, including penalties. If we only count non-penalty goals, levels one and two comprise just over 52% of Messi’s goals.
**LEVEL THREE**
This is the quintessential, bread and butter Messi goal that makes him so special. How many times have we seen him break down a defender and, seemingly out of nothing, be one on one with the keeper? How many times have we seen him produce a singular piece of skill that leads to a goal? How many one touch wall pass combinations has he played to slice through defenses like they weren’t there? This is the kind of goal that makes Messi, Messi.
Every goal from here on up would be featured prominently on 99.9% f players career highlight reel. We’re talking goals like 620 vs. Huesca https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKCj7EaMnrere Leo receives the ball in an unthreatening position, then proceeds to humiliate a defender and cleanly finish off the goal. We’re talking 685 vs Atletico Madrid https://youtu.be/5DACmHDL6A4?si=42O5BeSvFkHnPggY&t=72, where he rides a tackle, plays a wall pass and tucks the finish away neatly. Creative, buttery control and cheeky chip in El Clasico (199 vs Real Madrid https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=4H0Ja_yqX4PelLk4&t=1664). High press pickpocket, go around 2 defenders and finish calmly (19 vs Recreativo de Huelva https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=YW_nO0PhPXZrKydw&t=184).
Skin your man, play a one-two and bang the outside-the-box shot in off the post (161 vs Almeria https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=VxKG6eXAiXeScubV&t=2992). ick the ball up at the half-way line, drive at and around the defense and finish neatly (495 vs Eibar https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=J8WmpiNNHi0D7EmU&t=4080). mbarrass the entire defense (613 vs Villarreal https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=aas1Lis3L8WpYhbV&t=503inside at full speed and freeze the keeper (548 vs Celta de Vigo https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=wOesdeaUji7CxXwq&t=4497). Wriggle through the lines and bury the shot in the far corner (15 vs Sevilla https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=Lvx_PHK5ChRxpIOA&t=142). A physics-defying curler from outside the box (116 vs Getafe https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=RN_zi7e1mbQoypna&t=958).
This is the level where Messi creates magic out of thin air. These are goals that very few footballers have ever been capable of scoring, and that none have been capable of scoring at such volume as Messi. After watching all of his goals, what’s really remarkable is how unremarkable goals like this become after watching literally hundreds of them. Even for someone like me that has followed pretty much Messi’s whole career, so many of these special goals were brand new (which was a wonderful experience).
By my count, a whopping 232 of Messi’s 800 goals, or 29%, were 3s. If we’re only counting non-penalty goals, 3s are just under 37% of his goals. This was the second most common categorization, after the 2s.
**LEVEL FOUR**
This tier is where Messi goes from GOAT contender to the unquestionable greatest footballer to step foot on a pitch. These are goals which would be difficult to score on any pitch, under any circumstances, never mind against the best competition the world has to offer. If I ever scored a goal like this in my morning pickup league I might retire on the spot.
These goals typically involve beating 2 or more defenders on the dribble (83 v Malaga https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmUWUdRcS2o9 vs Valladolid https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=oeeWDIhgbPhp7bz6&t=2648, 547 vs Celta de Vigo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4e5d0W9ETA, 368 vs Getafe https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=9b8S_Ll6bwWEgK8U&t=3053, and the 2-for-1 solo goal special with 234 and 235 vs Malaga https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=QmU_EdEFsbxPO4G8&t=1950), an otherworldly piece of skill (187 vs Arsenal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyWOYxonkC8), a transcendent team passing sequence with Messi at the epicenter (168 vs Real Sociedad https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=OaIkYuW6otq5bAut&t=1396), or combination of the three (335 vs Deportivo La Coruña https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=jQ6XQdRNqORdiGYT&t=2790). Level four also includes most of Messi’s free kicks, which are almost uniformly spectacular. Some of his best include 508 vs USA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNO9TdGHw5Q, 665 vs Liverpool https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KdJDPWskVk, and 298 vs Real Madrid https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=GLMYfPNfGxiYmtIf&t=2416.
The goal that Leo produces in 656 vs Real Betis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT9kPvzYPhs ends Ray Hudson into pentecostal tongues. Then theres 735 vs Athletic Club https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=xXFrbzIHjfh47y2f&t=5821 which Messi retrieves the ball in his own half, runs past three defenders, uses a series of one touch passes to beat the rest of the defense, cuts past one more helpless defender and slots it home cooly. As much as we might try to describe the little genius, sometimes we are just lost for words (126 v Real Zaragoza https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=fbGg-1GFxYdjFon-&t=1038). After all, sometimes, you can only know magic when you see it yourself (253 vs Sevilla https://youtu.be/yIOb_fig1-g?si=u1He9jringCpanl8&t=37).
There’s also the goals whose quality is only matched by their monumental importance, like the eerily similar goals Messi scored in 2014 vs Iran https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMnGE-FcIqc and 2022 vs Mexico https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osdCpqcX6change the momentum for those Argentina teams (who both, of course, made the finals). Others include Leo’s Champions League Final clinching goal (196 vs Manchester United https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=foNhHBV-4jA40ss7&t=1627) and beautiful team counter-attack in extra time of the 2022 World Cup Final (793 vs France https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=6eM0b6pqGBi-s6oE&t=6227).
In total, I graded 94 of Messi’s 800 goals, or 11.75s. He has scored a comparable number of penalties to goals of this quality, which is, in a word, outrageous. If we don’t count penalties, 13.6% of his goals are on this level.
**LEVEL FIVE**
The only goals I gave 5s were:
ankara messi https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlnHNi0hdO0
nderful wonderful wonderful https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pWt_vG9_Ug
s a brilliant run from Messi, can he go all the waaaayyyyy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBaXSEkzAEE
aaaaahhh are you kidding me? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYMl8k-mlHo
ere he is again https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vxakpl2eD6Y
These are all-time classic goals which don’t need much explaining. The Boateng goal is probably a level too high, but that goal was just such a bolt of lightning in the moment, and I remember watching it live and losing my mind, and this is my list, so its here.
**Conclusions and notes**
First, a couple of notable performances (from the perspective of my metrics): first, Messi’s 2011 hat trick vs Atletico Madrid https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=LSXSf-3DqchZPqDK&t=1736ich I graded out as a 4-4-3, and his 2014 hat trick vs Sevilla https://youtu.be/IscGtF_A14A?si=4wzd4siNgoHbmpbN&t=3412, which I graded out as a 4-3-4. Good stuff.
Anyways, what did we learn that we didn’t already know? Probably not much. I did confirm my hunch that Messi has a ridiculously high average level of difficulty on his goals. The average score that a non-penalty Messi goal received (a sample size of 690 goals) wasns that his average goal was somewhere between a quality strikers finish and a goal that most can only dream of. As the average tells us, roughly HALF of Messi’s non-penalty goals are goals rated 3 or above. Absurd.
I also learned that there are few better ways to distract yourself during a breakup than to watch and grade a 2 hour long video of Messi goals. And that whatever happens in this life, we are all blessed to have grown up watching this special man grace the pitch.
Thanks for reading through the results of my week’s obsession. At the very least, I hope you got to relive some classic Messi screamers. Cheers. 2.h53, ,
hwitwo % zM , , 5). M ) 7o5%. .
A XYE,
source
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| 1 |