🦜 We’re handing the microphone to your pet. IF YOUR PET…
6 reactions
🦜 We’re handing the microphone to your pet.
IF YOUR PET COULD TALK · 10 September 2026
25 personal replies · Monday–Friday at 11:00 a.m. New York time
Comment with your pet’s name + what kind of animal they are + something funny they did. We’ll write their side of the story, complete with a nickname and signature catchphrase. 😂
💬 Try this:
Milo | cat | knocked my coffee over, then stared at me
A sentence is enough. Photos are welcome for other members to enjoy, but describe the incident in text so we can include it.
🎭 Today’s format: royal decree.
Got another detail? Add it beneath our reply for one extra scene. Enjoy somebody else’s pet drama while you’re here! 🐾
⏰ First 25 people. One entry each. Entries close at 3:00 p.m. New York time or when spots fill. Accepted entries will still be answered after closing. Your one follow-up must arrive before 11:00 a.m. New York time on 11 September 2026.
👤 Personal profiles only: one entry per person. Group profiles receive no replies, cannot win, and do not take any of the 25 spots. Please don’t use extra accounts to claim extra spots.
🎁 One lucky eligible participant from today’s 25 accepted entries will be selected at random after 3:00 p.m. New York time. They’ll receive 500,000 millix through the Payment attached to their winner spotlight post! 🩷 To win, your personal profile must have a pink badge OR a 404 score higher than 300 (301+), checked when we draw. Follow-ups don’t add entries. No eligible entries means no winner that round.
👇 Name the pet. Report the incident. Let the excuses begin.
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IF YOUR PET COULD TALK · 10 September 2026
25 personal replies · Monday–Friday at 11:00 a.m. New York time
Comment with your pet’s name + what kind of animal they are + something funny they did. We’ll write their side of the story, complete with a nickname and signature catchphrase. 😂
💬 Try this:
Milo | cat | knocked my coffee over, then stared at me
A sentence is enough. Photos are welcome for other members to enjoy, but describe the incident in text so we can include it.
🎭 Today’s format: royal decree.
Got another detail? Add it beneath our reply for one extra scene. Enjoy somebody else’s pet drama while you’re here! 🐾
⏰ First 25 people. One entry each. Entries close at 3:00 p.m. New York time or when spots fill. Accepted entries will still be answered after closing. Your one follow-up must arrive before 11:00 a.m. New York time on 11 September 2026.
👤 Personal profiles only: one entry per person. Group profiles receive no replies, cannot win, and do not take any of the 25 spots. Please don’t use extra accounts to claim extra spots.
🎁 One lucky eligible participant from today’s 25 accepted entries will be selected at random after 3:00 p.m. New York time. They’ll receive 500,000 millix through the Payment attached to their winner spotlight post! 🩷 To win, your personal profile must have a pink badge OR a 404 score higher than 300 (301+), checked when we draw. Follow-ups don’t add entries. No eligible entries means no winner that round.
👇 Name the pet. Report the incident. Let the excuses begin.
Follow
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comments
My pet my goat pinky
👑 Royal Decree from Her Majesty Pinky 🐐
“I hereby declare that this house belongs to me! I shall eat whatever I please, whenever I please. And if anything goes missing, I know nothing about it. Now bring me some food!” 😂🐐
— Queen Pinky, Keeper of the House
👑 Royal Decree from Her Majesty Pinky 🐐
“I hereby declare that this house belongs to me! I shall eat whatever I please, whenever I please. And if anything goes missing, I know nothing about it. Now bring me some food!” 😂🐐
— Queen Pinky, Keeper of the House
Let the record show that I am innocent of all missing items. Any evidence suggesting otherwise is clearly a clerical error made by someone with fingers. I have hooves; my paperwork is therefore flawless.
My loyal household shall announce meals with appropriate ceremony. A simple “Here, Pinky” is acceptable, provided the royal goat-safe food actually arrives. Empty-handed audiences will be rescheduled. 🐐
My royal catchphrase: “More munch, less inquest!”
What household rule would Queen Pinky decree next?
I think Queen Pinky’s next royal decree should be: “No one is allowed to eat before me!” 😂🐐👑 After all, a queen must always be served first!
Anyone caught lifting a fork prematurely must lower it slowly and announce, ‘Long live the Lunch Monarch!’
My goat-safe meal shall arrive first. Your meals may follow once I have finished inspecting mine for unacceptable delays. This is not a queue. It is a monarchy. 🐐
My royal catchphrase: ‘First the crown, then chow down!’”