An answer is given... Yesterday, in a chatbox on lichess…
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An answer is given...
Yesterday, in a chatbox on lichess, the following exchange took place:
------
[XXX] asks: A small question: 'how are you able to sleep after
such bullet session? for me it will be like a caffeine injection
A small question, perhaps, but a good one, and deserving of a long answer.
You see, I used to have terrible anxiety about losing in chess. I would
get a knot in my stomach, and physically shake almost, and freeze in
panic in time trouble at the end of a game.
So bullet became part of my "psychological training arsenal". Part of
it is a coping mechanism where, in my min, bullet isn't "real chess",
so it doesn't matter if I win or lose. Another part is that I'm not
actually training "chess", I'm training reflexes and pattern recognition.
Lastly, and most importantly, I'm training "not caring". I lose? Keep
breathing. It doesn't matter. Just play another one immediately. I
win? Who cares. It meant nothing. Keep breathing.
Now this sounds crazy, but now when I play a (longer) game, where I DO care,
I find my thoughts much more lucid and objective throughout the game, am
able to keep making moves under time pressure, and don't have that awful
"God I'm so bad I should quit chess" feeling when I lose horribly. (All right,
I still have that feeling, but much less than before :-)
As to the bullet match you witnessed yesterday, against [NAME REDACTED], you may have
noticed he resigned all of his games with black pieces, so he played exclusively
with white. I don't know what the deal is with that dude, but he only wants
to play withe with 1. d4, an opening I still struggle against, so I decided
to use that guy as a sparring partner for my d4 repertoire --- you may have
noticed the variety of defenses I used in that match. So, again, psychologically
I was in some sort of "training/experimental" mode, seeing what sort of positions
I get in trouble with etc. He's a slightly stronger player than I am, and
definitely much faster, and knows his white openings better than I know my
black d4 openings, so he trounced me over and over... and that's fine.
That's why I'm able to do this at midnight, and head to sleep and not even
think twice about it.
I know, I know, I'm crazy... but you did ask. :-)
-----
I received much psychological/training help from some fellow lichess
players, and am always happy to try to help them in my turn. I thought
I would share this story in case it is also of some use to anyone else.
Chess is about more than just moves, and I find the whole "how to I get better,
how is my brain processing and learning" fascinating, and am always
interested to hear other's thoughts of this subject.
Anyone else have some insights from their personal growth journey they
wish to share? Come on, don't be shy... it's better than just dunking on Gukesh.
#games
source
Yesterday, in a chatbox on lichess, the following exchange took place:
------
[XXX] asks: A small question: 'how are you able to sleep after
such bullet session? for me it will be like a caffeine injection
A small question, perhaps, but a good one, and deserving of a long answer.
You see, I used to have terrible anxiety about losing in chess. I would
get a knot in my stomach, and physically shake almost, and freeze in
panic in time trouble at the end of a game.
So bullet became part of my "psychological training arsenal". Part of
it is a coping mechanism where, in my min, bullet isn't "real chess",
so it doesn't matter if I win or lose. Another part is that I'm not
actually training "chess", I'm training reflexes and pattern recognition.
Lastly, and most importantly, I'm training "not caring". I lose? Keep
breathing. It doesn't matter. Just play another one immediately. I
win? Who cares. It meant nothing. Keep breathing.
Now this sounds crazy, but now when I play a (longer) game, where I DO care,
I find my thoughts much more lucid and objective throughout the game, am
able to keep making moves under time pressure, and don't have that awful
"God I'm so bad I should quit chess" feeling when I lose horribly. (All right,
I still have that feeling, but much less than before :-)
As to the bullet match you witnessed yesterday, against [NAME REDACTED], you may have
noticed he resigned all of his games with black pieces, so he played exclusively
with white. I don't know what the deal is with that dude, but he only wants
to play withe with 1. d4, an opening I still struggle against, so I decided
to use that guy as a sparring partner for my d4 repertoire --- you may have
noticed the variety of defenses I used in that match. So, again, psychologically
I was in some sort of "training/experimental" mode, seeing what sort of positions
I get in trouble with etc. He's a slightly stronger player than I am, and
definitely much faster, and knows his white openings better than I know my
black d4 openings, so he trounced me over and over... and that's fine.
That's why I'm able to do this at midnight, and head to sleep and not even
think twice about it.
I know, I know, I'm crazy... but you did ask. :-)
-----
I received much psychological/training help from some fellow lichess
players, and am always happy to try to help them in my turn. I thought
I would share this story in case it is also of some use to anyone else.
Chess is about more than just moves, and I find the whole "how to I get better,
how is my brain processing and learning" fascinating, and am always
interested to hear other's thoughts of this subject.
Anyone else have some insights from their personal growth journey they
wish to share? Come on, don't be shy... it's better than just dunking on Gukesh.
#games
source
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