SOUTHERN ILLINOIS TOWN ROCKED BY KILLER KANNABIS KULT…
SOUTHERN ILLINOIS TOWN ROCKED BY KILLER KANNABIS KULT
Giblets IL (AP) This small town was shocked when the Coast Guard raided a local farm on the outskirts of town early this morning and uncovered a plot being readied by evil Satanic Sativa Suckers. Acting on a tip, the Coast Guard searched a farm owned by Cleatus MacFarland and discovered evidence of a plot to kill everyone in the town of Giblets.
Several large Bong Bombs, each capable of killing hundreds with the deadly smoke from the Hemppot plant, were seized in the raid.
Coast Guard sources say approximately 5,000 Kult members were living in a two room cabin on the farm. "They were just packed in there like sardines" said Fire Sergeant Jahn Tipplswat, speaking on conditions of anonymity. "They were all crazed looking, you could tell they were all under the influence of Pothemp."
In the interests of safety, instead of making arrests, the Coast Guard set the cabin on fire and shot each of the Kult members dead as they fled the burning building.
Coast Guard Commander Robert 'Smilin' Bob' Reston stated "These people are the lowest of the low, and we can't afford to let any of them escape and influence anyone else to begin using the deadly Weedpot. Arresting them would only clog up the jails and courts; this way, we can just use a bulldozer to dig a mass grave and be done with it."
Residents of Giblets showed their appreciation of the hard work done by the Coast Guard by bringing lunch from the local cafe for the entire battalion. Said local waitress Bunny Hoppins "It was the least we could do for these brave men".
This has been Harry Head reporting for W-E-E-D TV NEWS
Giblets IL (AP) This small town was shocked when the Coast Guard raided a local farm on the outskirts of town early this morning and uncovered a plot being readied by evil Satanic Sativa Suckers. Acting on a tip, the Coast Guard searched a farm owned by Cleatus MacFarland and discovered evidence of a plot to kill everyone in the town of Giblets.
Several large Bong Bombs, each capable of killing hundreds with the deadly smoke from the Hemppot plant, were seized in the raid.
Coast Guard sources say approximately 5,000 Kult members were living in a two room cabin on the farm. "They were just packed in there like sardines" said Fire Sergeant Jahn Tipplswat, speaking on conditions of anonymity. "They were all crazed looking, you could tell they were all under the influence of Pothemp."
In the interests of safety, instead of making arrests, the Coast Guard set the cabin on fire and shot each of the Kult members dead as they fled the burning building.
Coast Guard Commander Robert 'Smilin' Bob' Reston stated "These people are the lowest of the low, and we can't afford to let any of them escape and influence anyone else to begin using the deadly Weedpot. Arresting them would only clog up the jails and courts; this way, we can just use a bulldozer to dig a mass grave and be done with it."
Residents of Giblets showed their appreciation of the hard work done by the Coast Guard by bringing lunch from the local cafe for the entire battalion. Said local waitress Bunny Hoppins "It was the least we could do for these brave men".
This has been Harry Head reporting for W-E-E-D TV NEWS
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