Finally managed to get the kids out the house for school (late, obviously). Wife had already left early for work. As I was just heading out to walk the dog and then drive to work…
Locked the front door, lifted the handle… and the lever just came clean off in my hand. Like that's a thing?
So now I’m outside. Door locked. No way back in. Dog also outside with me, absolutely loving life while I’m spiralling.
No locksmiths answering. Ideal.
Ended up borrowing ladders from the neighbours, dragging them round, climbing over the garage, and basically headstanding through the bathroom window. Didn’t stick the landing.
Made some kind of makeshift fix (reversed the handle - cheers internet), let the dog back in like nothing happened, then actually walked him properly this time. And got to work only 2 hours late.
Ordered a new part, got home feeling like an absolute hero after working through lunch and making up my time after work. Fully expecting my wife to say “we need a new door” (she’s hated it for years). Instead… she was buzzing I’d sorted it. Win!
Got changed, grabbed my son to take him to football practice. As we left my wife ran to hand him his drink. Then she looked at the door, looked at me, and said: “Maybe it’s time we get that porch.”