I had to put my dog down and I can’t sleep because I’ve…
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I had to put my dog down and I can’t sleep because I’ve tucked her in every night since I was thirteen.
My room feels colder without her here and hearing her snoring and smelling how she was slightly stinky sometimes. It feels like I’m waiting for her to come back home. My parents put her to sleep while I was at work today and her body is still at the vets office to be cremated. I feel ill knowing she’s not home right now. I have no idea what to do and I feel really lost.
I’m glad she’s not suffering, and she lived to be seventeen at the very least, she was slightly grey in the face when we adopted her eleven years ago and every night since then I’ve tucked her in in my bed with one of my pillows and covered her with my blanket and then I’d put my head next to her with her back to me and listen to her breathing. Her breaths were always 2.5-3 inhales per deep breath for me and I’d count them until I’d fall asleep curled up with her. Is it stupid to get one of those stuffed animals that makes fake breathing sounds or has a heartbeat that they use for puppies at the vet when they have to be in incubators? Does anyone have any advice? I’m realizing I’ve never slept alone since I was thirteen, and it feels like being afraid of the dark without her here. I was so worried about her leading up to this point that over the past four days I’ve slept twelve hours total and I’m just so anxious still and exhausted but I still can’t sleep.
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My room feels colder without her here and hearing her snoring and smelling how she was slightly stinky sometimes. It feels like I’m waiting for her to come back home. My parents put her to sleep while I was at work today and her body is still at the vets office to be cremated. I feel ill knowing she’s not home right now. I have no idea what to do and I feel really lost.
I’m glad she’s not suffering, and she lived to be seventeen at the very least, she was slightly grey in the face when we adopted her eleven years ago and every night since then I’ve tucked her in in my bed with one of my pillows and covered her with my blanket and then I’d put my head next to her with her back to me and listen to her breathing. Her breaths were always 2.5-3 inhales per deep breath for me and I’d count them until I’d fall asleep curled up with her. Is it stupid to get one of those stuffed animals that makes fake breathing sounds or has a heartbeat that they use for puppies at the vet when they have to be in incubators? Does anyone have any advice? I’m realizing I’ve never slept alone since I was thirteen, and it feels like being afraid of the dark without her here. I was so worried about her leading up to this point that over the past four days I’ve slept twelve hours total and I’m just so anxious still and exhausted but I still can’t sleep.
#conversation
source
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