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bGenuine question, is it inappropriate to use the words gay and lesbian in a hospital waiting room?
I'm a queer sixteen year-old girl, and during part of an eleven hour overnight wait in the emergency department with my mum (me and my dad had given up after eight hours the night before) I asked my mum for recommendations to watch on Netflix on my phone. She said It's A Sin, since my sociology teacher recommended recently and her and my dad enjoyed it. I started watching some then turned it off and said "I like it but [jokingly] I don't think it's appropriate to watch in public" (as in there were sex scenes). She said she couldn't remember that was in it and fair enough, watch it another time. I was bored and trying to make conversation, and it wasn't like anyone was going to be managing to sleep in the waiting room anyway with people arguing with nurses and crying babies and bright lights, and I said to my mum (just trying to make conversation) "It makes me a bit sad that there seems to be a lot more media focused on gay men's culture than lesbian women's culture". She nodded, kind of half listening looking at her phone, which was fair enough because we were exhausted. Mainly just talking to myself I said "But I guess gay men have faced more stigma throughout history so I guess they're more in need of positive media representation to combat that". That's all I said, I didn't mention anything sexual or controversial. Those two sentences. Then my mum gave me a look, like 'please don't do this here'. My mum's pretty progressive and usually up for talking about this stuff, but then I thought maybe in a public place I was making people uncomfortable. So I said "Sorry, is this not appropriate to talk about?". In a genuine way, not a sarcastic way. I'm on the spectrum and sometimes I do need to clarify whether I'm breaking a social convention. My mum lent closer and whispered "Well I guess you can talk about it very quietly". I hadn't thought I'd said anything inappropriate, it's not like a stood up and started loudly reading graphic lesbian erotica to the whole emergency department. I know my mum probably just wanted me to be safe, there were some angry people there in need of painkillers and if any of them happened to be homophobic they could have taken there frustration at being left in pain for twelve hours out on me. But I don't think the responsibility should be on me to make sure I'm not a target of hate, the responsibility should be on them not to be hateful. People were swearing and arguing and intimidating nurses, I was far from being the most offensive person there for using the word gay twice and lesbian once in the whole eleven hours I'd been sat there. Also, I was wearing a pride badge, several pro-Palestine badges, a #StopRwanda adge (for anyone not UK that refers to the government plan to send refugees to Rwanda) and a Anti-academisation badge. And my mum had her National Education Union tote bag. So if anyone had an issue with us and was going to get aggressive they would've already expressed it before I dared to use the words gay and lesbian in a public setting.
Did I do something socially inappropriate?
#lifestyle
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I'm a queer sixteen year-old girl, and during part of an eleven hour overnight wait in the emergency department with my mum (me and my dad had given up after eight hours the night before) I asked my mum for recommendations to watch on Netflix on my phone. She said It's A Sin, since my sociology teacher recommended recently and her and my dad enjoyed it. I started watching some then turned it off and said "I like it but [jokingly] I don't think it's appropriate to watch in public" (as in there were sex scenes). She said she couldn't remember that was in it and fair enough, watch it another time. I was bored and trying to make conversation, and it wasn't like anyone was going to be managing to sleep in the waiting room anyway with people arguing with nurses and crying babies and bright lights, and I said to my mum (just trying to make conversation) "It makes me a bit sad that there seems to be a lot more media focused on gay men's culture than lesbian women's culture". She nodded, kind of half listening looking at her phone, which was fair enough because we were exhausted. Mainly just talking to myself I said "But I guess gay men have faced more stigma throughout history so I guess they're more in need of positive media representation to combat that". That's all I said, I didn't mention anything sexual or controversial. Those two sentences. Then my mum gave me a look, like 'please don't do this here'. My mum's pretty progressive and usually up for talking about this stuff, but then I thought maybe in a public place I was making people uncomfortable. So I said "Sorry, is this not appropriate to talk about?". In a genuine way, not a sarcastic way. I'm on the spectrum and sometimes I do need to clarify whether I'm breaking a social convention. My mum lent closer and whispered "Well I guess you can talk about it very quietly". I hadn't thought I'd said anything inappropriate, it's not like a stood up and started loudly reading graphic lesbian erotica to the whole emergency department. I know my mum probably just wanted me to be safe, there were some angry people there in need of painkillers and if any of them happened to be homophobic they could have taken there frustration at being left in pain for twelve hours out on me. But I don't think the responsibility should be on me to make sure I'm not a target of hate, the responsibility should be on them not to be hateful. People were swearing and arguing and intimidating nurses, I was far from being the most offensive person there for using the word gay twice and lesbian once in the whole eleven hours I'd been sat there. Also, I was wearing a pride badge, several pro-Palestine badges, a #StopRwanda adge (for anyone not UK that refers to the government plan to send refugees to Rwanda) and a Anti-academisation badge. And my mum had her National Education Union tote bag. So if anyone had an issue with us and was going to get aggressive they would've already expressed it before I dared to use the words gay and lesbian in a public setting.
Did I do something socially inappropriate?
#lifestyle
source
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