0 reactions
Did your toothbrush change colors too?
“Wait” My husband Matt started to say. “I swear my toothbrush was blue this morning.”
He held it up for me to see. It was green, as green as the grass on the day we met.
“What are you talking about honey? It’s green.” I laughed.
“I know. It’s green *now*, but this morning it was blue. I swear. I know because blue is my favorite color. That’s why I bought it. Blue for me and orange for yo-” his eyes went wide as he looked at my toothbrush.
“Oh my god! Don’t start this again. My toothbrush has always been pink.” I said starting to get exasperated.
After a few more ‘buts’, ‘I swears’, and ‘please believe mes’, Matt eventually gave up trying to convince me and finished brushing his teeth.
“I’ll go tuck the kids in bed,” I said and walked to their shared room.
We had two beautiful little girls, Marcy and Maybelle. They were 5-year-old twins and the light of our lives.
“Hi girlies”
“Hi Mommy.” They shouted in unison. I kissed each of their blonde heads and reached to turn out the lamp.
“No! Wait!” Maybelle yelled. “Will you read us a story?”
“I suppose we have time for a story, but it has to be a quick one. How about The Dancing Princess?”
“No, not that one. Read us our favorite, The Swan and the Kitten.” Marcy said.
“All right.” I found the book on the shelf. “Once upon a time…”
I read until both girls were fast asleep, then walked to my bedroom.
“How were they?” Matt asked.
“Sweet, as always. They asked me to read their favorite story.”
“The Dancing Princess.” Matt smiled wistfully.
I laughed. “That’s what I thought too, but apparently their favorite now is The Swan and the Kitten”
Matt sat up in bed. I groaned inwardly, I knew what he was about to say.
“The Swan and Kitten? Since when? Mary, I know my little girls and ever since they learned to read, their favorite book has been The Dancing Princess.”
“Matt, relax! They’re getting older, their interests change. This is just the toothbrush thing all over again.” He looked straight at me and I knew right then and there that I had said the wrong thing.
“Baby, I’m sorry! Let’s just go to sleep.”
“Fine. But I swear to God, my toothbrush was blue this morning.”
“Okay. I believe you. Goodnight.”
The morning came bright and early. I got up and found Matt in the bathroom staring at his red toothbrush again and muttering.
“I swear.” He was saying.
“What? Did it change colors again?” I laughed. He looked at me angrily but said nothing. I went to get the girls dressed and ready for breakfast.
“Daddy!” They yelled with huge smiles on their faces.
“Hey girls!” He said distractedly.
“Matt,” I whispered. “They want your attention.
“I know, it's just I swear our fridge was white yesterday. Now it’s gray.”
“Seriously honey. You’re starting to freak me out a bit. You’ve got to stop this.”
“Freak you out? What about me? It’s like I’m the only one noticing the world is going to shit!” He yelled, causing the girls to start crying.
“Matt! Look what you’ve done!” But I didn’t have to tell him. I could see clear as day how guilty he felt.
“God Mary! I’m sorry!” He said sadly. “I think I should just leave for work. I’m only making things worse” He gave the sniffling twins a kiss and walked out the door.
I’m sure all the neighbors heard him yell “Jesus fucking Christ! Since when do I have a fucking truck? Where’s my goddamn sedan?”
I sighed and turned my attention back to the girls.
“Marcy and Maybelle, do you want to go to a park today?”
“Sure, Mommy!” They said, having forgotten their earlier sadness.
I buckled the girls into my van and drove to the park. It was a beautiful, sunny day. I saw a couple of my other mom friends and walked over to them.
“Wow! Your daughters’ hair is so pretty today!” One of the moms said to me.
“Right! I wish I had red hair.” Another lamented.
After a bit, we began to complain about our husbands.
“John barely helps out with the baby.”
“I hear you! Will doesn’t do anything.”
“Well, at least your problems are normal. Mine’s been screaming about our toothbrush changing colors.”
“Maybe you should look into couple’s therapy.” One of them suggested.
“Yeah, maybe” I mulled it over. It was a good suggestion, but was therapy really necessary when the extent of your marital problems was the color of toothbrushes?
We stayed at the park until the girls were tired and I was hungry. I buckled them up in the hatchback and drove home. Matt would be back from work soon. I hoped he was doing better. It would be terrible if he had embarrassed himself in front of his coworkers, or worse yet, his boss.
But as he walked in, I knew from the look on his face, that was exactly what had happened.
“It’s the strangest thing, Mary.” He began to say.
“What?” I laughed. “What did you call me?”
“Mary?”
“That’s not my name.”
“Of course it isn’t” He sighed, then said reluctantly, “What is it now?”
“Mila. Maybe Mary was one of your ex-girlfriends” I suggested. “Anyway, what happened?”
He leaned back and closed his eyes. “It’s not like you would believe me.”
“No, please. Tell me honey.”
“Well, it’s the strangest thing. I walked into the office and there was a woman at the front. Tall, brown-haired. Very imposing. I introduced myself to her and she asked if I was making a joke or something. I must have looked very confused because she said she’s been my boss for the past nine years.”
“Yeah, Mrs. Ally Collins. I met her at the Christmas party. Sweet lady!”
“No, my boss for the past *eleven* years has been a man. Mr. Adres Cooper.”
“That is strange, honey! I’m sorry.” Even if I knew he was wrong about his boss, I felt bad for him. He truly believed he was right.
“I think I just want to go give my daughters a hug. Marcy! Maybelle!” He called.
I started to laugh. “Boy, you’re really struggling with names today huh?”
He looked strangely at me then again yelled “Marcy! Maybelle!”.
I detected a note of desperation in his voice. Maybe he had taken some drugs or something.
“Madeline and Mason! Get your butts in here now and come give your father a kiss.” I said for him, correcting their names.
“Mason!” Maxwell yelled. “Dear God!”
The twins came running in, their brown hair flying.
“Dad! What’s so urgent you had to yell at me like that?” Mason complained.
Maxell looked at me with horror.
“They look like they’re ten fucking years old! Yesterday, they were five and now one of them’s a boy!” He put his head in his hands and cried.
“Actually, dad. We’re twelve.” Madison said, proudly.
Michael got up and went upstairs.
“The fucking toothbrush!” We heard him yell. “It all started with the goddamn, fucking, asshole toothbrush. It’s purple now! You hear that Mary, Mila, Mia-whatever the fuck your name is. It’s purple.”
I put the boys to bed then went to my room. He had cried himself to sleep. I put my arms around him and hoped tomorrow would be better. I missed my husband and hated that he felt so lost.
The next morning was better. I found him brushing his teeth, but thankfully not lamenting that it had changed again. I don’t think I could have taken another ‘why is it yellow today’.
“I’m better now M. My toothbrush can change colors. That’s fine. My boss can magically change into a woman. Also fine. My children can age seven years. Totally, totally fine. As long as I have all of you”
“Children?” I said uneasily. “Do you have a child from another woman you never told me about?”
“What are you talking about M? Our children, Madison and Mayb-ahh Mason whatever. ”
“Mason?” I asked, but he didn’t respond. He ran out of the bathroom. I followed. He flung our daughter’s bedroom door open and sank to the floor sobbing.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” I put my hand on Malachi’s shoulder.
“What’s wrong with daddy?” Milly cried.
“Where’s Maybelle?” He yelled
“There is no Maybelle, sweetie. There’s only ever been Macy.”
#entertainment
source
“Wait” My husband Matt started to say. “I swear my toothbrush was blue this morning.”
He held it up for me to see. It was green, as green as the grass on the day we met.
“What are you talking about honey? It’s green.” I laughed.
“I know. It’s green *now*, but this morning it was blue. I swear. I know because blue is my favorite color. That’s why I bought it. Blue for me and orange for yo-” his eyes went wide as he looked at my toothbrush.
“Oh my god! Don’t start this again. My toothbrush has always been pink.” I said starting to get exasperated.
After a few more ‘buts’, ‘I swears’, and ‘please believe mes’, Matt eventually gave up trying to convince me and finished brushing his teeth.
“I’ll go tuck the kids in bed,” I said and walked to their shared room.
We had two beautiful little girls, Marcy and Maybelle. They were 5-year-old twins and the light of our lives.
“Hi girlies”
“Hi Mommy.” They shouted in unison. I kissed each of their blonde heads and reached to turn out the lamp.
“No! Wait!” Maybelle yelled. “Will you read us a story?”
“I suppose we have time for a story, but it has to be a quick one. How about The Dancing Princess?”
“No, not that one. Read us our favorite, The Swan and the Kitten.” Marcy said.
“All right.” I found the book on the shelf. “Once upon a time…”
I read until both girls were fast asleep, then walked to my bedroom.
“How were they?” Matt asked.
“Sweet, as always. They asked me to read their favorite story.”
“The Dancing Princess.” Matt smiled wistfully.
I laughed. “That’s what I thought too, but apparently their favorite now is The Swan and the Kitten”
Matt sat up in bed. I groaned inwardly, I knew what he was about to say.
“The Swan and Kitten? Since when? Mary, I know my little girls and ever since they learned to read, their favorite book has been The Dancing Princess.”
“Matt, relax! They’re getting older, their interests change. This is just the toothbrush thing all over again.” He looked straight at me and I knew right then and there that I had said the wrong thing.
“Baby, I’m sorry! Let’s just go to sleep.”
“Fine. But I swear to God, my toothbrush was blue this morning.”
“Okay. I believe you. Goodnight.”
The morning came bright and early. I got up and found Matt in the bathroom staring at his red toothbrush again and muttering.
“I swear.” He was saying.
“What? Did it change colors again?” I laughed. He looked at me angrily but said nothing. I went to get the girls dressed and ready for breakfast.
“Daddy!” They yelled with huge smiles on their faces.
“Hey girls!” He said distractedly.
“Matt,” I whispered. “They want your attention.
“I know, it's just I swear our fridge was white yesterday. Now it’s gray.”
“Seriously honey. You’re starting to freak me out a bit. You’ve got to stop this.”
“Freak you out? What about me? It’s like I’m the only one noticing the world is going to shit!” He yelled, causing the girls to start crying.
“Matt! Look what you’ve done!” But I didn’t have to tell him. I could see clear as day how guilty he felt.
“God Mary! I’m sorry!” He said sadly. “I think I should just leave for work. I’m only making things worse” He gave the sniffling twins a kiss and walked out the door.
I’m sure all the neighbors heard him yell “Jesus fucking Christ! Since when do I have a fucking truck? Where’s my goddamn sedan?”
I sighed and turned my attention back to the girls.
“Marcy and Maybelle, do you want to go to a park today?”
“Sure, Mommy!” They said, having forgotten their earlier sadness.
I buckled the girls into my van and drove to the park. It was a beautiful, sunny day. I saw a couple of my other mom friends and walked over to them.
“Wow! Your daughters’ hair is so pretty today!” One of the moms said to me.
“Right! I wish I had red hair.” Another lamented.
After a bit, we began to complain about our husbands.
“John barely helps out with the baby.”
“I hear you! Will doesn’t do anything.”
“Well, at least your problems are normal. Mine’s been screaming about our toothbrush changing colors.”
“Maybe you should look into couple’s therapy.” One of them suggested.
“Yeah, maybe” I mulled it over. It was a good suggestion, but was therapy really necessary when the extent of your marital problems was the color of toothbrushes?
We stayed at the park until the girls were tired and I was hungry. I buckled them up in the hatchback and drove home. Matt would be back from work soon. I hoped he was doing better. It would be terrible if he had embarrassed himself in front of his coworkers, or worse yet, his boss.
But as he walked in, I knew from the look on his face, that was exactly what had happened.
“It’s the strangest thing, Mary.” He began to say.
“What?” I laughed. “What did you call me?”
“Mary?”
“That’s not my name.”
“Of course it isn’t” He sighed, then said reluctantly, “What is it now?”
“Mila. Maybe Mary was one of your ex-girlfriends” I suggested. “Anyway, what happened?”
He leaned back and closed his eyes. “It’s not like you would believe me.”
“No, please. Tell me honey.”
“Well, it’s the strangest thing. I walked into the office and there was a woman at the front. Tall, brown-haired. Very imposing. I introduced myself to her and she asked if I was making a joke or something. I must have looked very confused because she said she’s been my boss for the past nine years.”
“Yeah, Mrs. Ally Collins. I met her at the Christmas party. Sweet lady!”
“No, my boss for the past *eleven* years has been a man. Mr. Adres Cooper.”
“That is strange, honey! I’m sorry.” Even if I knew he was wrong about his boss, I felt bad for him. He truly believed he was right.
“I think I just want to go give my daughters a hug. Marcy! Maybelle!” He called.
I started to laugh. “Boy, you’re really struggling with names today huh?”
He looked strangely at me then again yelled “Marcy! Maybelle!”.
I detected a note of desperation in his voice. Maybe he had taken some drugs or something.
“Madeline and Mason! Get your butts in here now and come give your father a kiss.” I said for him, correcting their names.
“Mason!” Maxwell yelled. “Dear God!”
The twins came running in, their brown hair flying.
“Dad! What’s so urgent you had to yell at me like that?” Mason complained.
Maxell looked at me with horror.
“They look like they’re ten fucking years old! Yesterday, they were five and now one of them’s a boy!” He put his head in his hands and cried.
“Actually, dad. We’re twelve.” Madison said, proudly.
Michael got up and went upstairs.
“The fucking toothbrush!” We heard him yell. “It all started with the goddamn, fucking, asshole toothbrush. It’s purple now! You hear that Mary, Mila, Mia-whatever the fuck your name is. It’s purple.”
I put the boys to bed then went to my room. He had cried himself to sleep. I put my arms around him and hoped tomorrow would be better. I missed my husband and hated that he felt so lost.
The next morning was better. I found him brushing his teeth, but thankfully not lamenting that it had changed again. I don’t think I could have taken another ‘why is it yellow today’.
“I’m better now M. My toothbrush can change colors. That’s fine. My boss can magically change into a woman. Also fine. My children can age seven years. Totally, totally fine. As long as I have all of you”
“Children?” I said uneasily. “Do you have a child from another woman you never told me about?”
“What are you talking about M? Our children, Madison and Mayb-ahh Mason whatever. ”
“Mason?” I asked, but he didn’t respond. He ran out of the bathroom. I followed. He flung our daughter’s bedroom door open and sank to the floor sobbing.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” I put my hand on Malachi’s shoulder.
“What’s wrong with daddy?” Milly cried.
“Where’s Maybelle?” He yelled
“There is no Maybelle, sweetie. There’s only ever been Macy.”
#entertainment
source
| 5,000 mlx | |
| 7 | |
| 0 |