As kids, the corner of our bedroom took us to 'the fun…
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As kids, the corner of our bedroom took us to 'the fun place'
My sister Sheily and I had a favourite game we'd discovered in our childhood, we called it, 'Going to the fun place'. On one of our imaginative excursions in our parents' 800 sq/ft already-worn suburban home we decided to play hide-and-seek in the dark. We figured out that if you sat with your back towards the back left-most corner of our room and closed your eyes, you'd drop onto a trip through what comes after life.
This was amazing for us, you see, we hadn't even hit 10, we'd always been really, really close because our parents, though they provided the absolute minimum to not get in trouble, pretended we didn't exist most of the time. They provided no dolls, Ataris, toys or anything of the sort, and told us to sort ourselves out.
"Remember, bro. I'll wake you when the cl..uhck passes half before you go to the hot hot place," she said with a child-like cadence, pointing at a cheap clock we took down from the wall, now laying flat by her on the ground.
I remember nodding obediently, you see, in our previous trips, we'd figured out some rules. Well, miraculously stumbled on them. We hadn't realized how close we'd gotten to damnation until we grew older.
"Have a safe tr-" As I closed my eyes, everything cut off, for the first 5 seconds, I saw nothing. No, not the black you see when you close your eyes. Complete and utter nothing. I couldn't think, yet I felt time passing.
Not long after, I felt myself being lifted up. Higher and higher. Higher and higher and higher. In 2 seconds, I was higher than anyone had ever been. Just a feeling I got.
8 seconds into the 'trip', I could see a pinprick of light appear in my vision and started feeling happy. As I approached and the light grew, the feeling of happiness I'd experienced filled up every sense. I could see everything beautiful in life. Trees, animals, flowers, all my favorite foods. 'People' who I'd never met before and yet, I knew, I just knew LOVED me. It felt like the scene was caressing my eyes.
I could hear everything good, voices, affirmations, LOVE, this happened to all my senses. Smell, taste, touch as well. It was LOVE. No other way to describe it.
As I passed it by, on the 31st second of my trip, I felt myself plummeting and PLUMMETING hard all the light disappearing. On my 33rd second, I started smelling fire, and feeling what could only be described as DREAD and the feeling of refuse clinging to my skin, on the 34th second, I heard and saw-
I remember waking up in a jolt with my sister waking me by holding an eyelid open with her small fingers then SCREAMING at her, hugging her and crying all at the same time for letting me stay there past the 30 second mark. She pointed at the clock her bottom lip trembling, "T-the cll-uhk stopped working and I tried fixing it and I forgot and sorrrry."
...That was more than 20 years ago. A lot has happened since then. My parents who had us twins in their older age had already been moved to an old folks' home and are wasting away there.
We hadn't told anyone about 'Going to the fun place'. As we grew older, we'd used the corner of our little room as a fallback when things got rough. A bad break up, losing someone, depression, anxiety, everything. Feeling that LOVE always got us back on our feet. We knew it was dangerous, but stopping would mean having to face reality without its help, which we never learned to do.
We connected the dots and realized how close we were to damnation which took a lot of talking and turning to religion, thanking God for not having us end up in the hot hot place, rationalizing him as merciful. He wouldn't do that.
Though, I don't know what the point of all the prayer was now. You see, three months ago, she'd lost her husband and two of her kids in a house-fire.
A complete tragedy, where the only reason she and her newborn had survived was because of birth complications she'd been hospitalized for. Coupled with her post-partum depression, grief and resultant insomnia, she'd collapsed and gone into critical condition.
I remember getting the dreadful call the day she collapsed, and immediately contacting her. She broke down and told me that her daughter never stopped crying no matter what she did coupled with all the grief she's been experiencing, she couldn't do it. She tried holding it in, but it stressed her out way too much.
"C-can I 'Go to the fun place, bro?'" She asked.
Unlike my sister, I'd never moved out of the suburban house. I never married and I commuted to work from here. I couldn't say no, so, it was decided that she'd move back in bringing her infant.
*Knock knock*
I remember the relief and sadness I experienced when I opened the door. Yes, she was my sister, alive and good, but the bags under her eyes, her sallow skin, the dead look her pupils gave off as she held my niece close.
"WAHHH WAAAHH," my niece cried nonstop to no avail, Sheily's expression didn't change a bit.
Nevertheless, I hugged them both, I knew, or rather, I'd hoped that this was temporary shock caused by grief.
I picked my niece, Reya, up and asked my sister if she wanted to go now.
"Yes." She replied.
That night was a happy time, my sister slept! Yes, she slept through all the crying and when she woke up she looked as bright as ever. She hugged Reya and cried.
"I love you." She cried.
Over the next few days, I'd set her appointments with therapists, everything looked good for once.
3 weeks later, I'd noticed something. You see, we set a rule that she wouldn't set foot in the room with the corner that led to the 'Fun place', I had the key, so she always had to wait for me to unlock it. Her requests had been getting more and more frequent.
"WAAAHHH WAAAAH"
"Please, just one more time. The crying is starting to get to me again," she wept.
I let her. We'd always relied on the 'fun place', not to this degree, it was my mistake.
2 months since she moved back in, she looked dead again for most of the day and only smiled a bit when coming back from the fun place. I was always stressed at work and asked her to message me regularly. I tried asking her to try focusing more on her therapy and telling her that her daughter needed her.
"WAAAH WAAAAH WAAAAAAH!"
"I know," she replied.
3 months with her being back. I stood by the door home and heard weeping. HARD weeping. Weeping filled with GRIEF. I rushed, my heart hammering as I rushed to open the door.
*Clack Clack*
*Creak*
As I opened the door and hurried in, leaving it open behind me, I saw across the small living room, the handle to the room was broken and the door unhinged.
I hurried in filled with hellish DREAD, and saw my sister holding her daughter tight, tears streaming down her face, looking up at me.
"B-bro, I was-*hrgk*\-locked out, a-all the crying was making me go insane, I-I thought that if she, if Reya experienced that LOVE for once, she would stop c-c-crying."
*Hrhuk hrgk*
"I-I was right, s-she looked so peaceful, so, so, so, so peaceful. That I forgot. I forgot."
I stood there stunned, looking at Reya's chest, looking for any movement in her muscles. None.
She looked up at my eyes, her lips bitten, eyes hopeful, "B-but bro, l-listen here, every time we went close to t-the hot hot place, o-our brows would furrow and we'd grimace in pain."
She looked down at her, "M-my baby only looked peaceful from b-beginning to end. G-God wouldn't let her go to the hot hot place, r-r-right?" She looked up, hopeful.
It's been a few days since then, I made her swear off the room until we moved. I've been making her go to therapy and church.
I'm in my room, writing this while my sister is asleep, just to ask one question.
Would God let a child fall into the hot hot place?
#entertainment
source
My sister Sheily and I had a favourite game we'd discovered in our childhood, we called it, 'Going to the fun place'. On one of our imaginative excursions in our parents' 800 sq/ft already-worn suburban home we decided to play hide-and-seek in the dark. We figured out that if you sat with your back towards the back left-most corner of our room and closed your eyes, you'd drop onto a trip through what comes after life.
This was amazing for us, you see, we hadn't even hit 10, we'd always been really, really close because our parents, though they provided the absolute minimum to not get in trouble, pretended we didn't exist most of the time. They provided no dolls, Ataris, toys or anything of the sort, and told us to sort ourselves out.
"Remember, bro. I'll wake you when the cl..uhck passes half before you go to the hot hot place," she said with a child-like cadence, pointing at a cheap clock we took down from the wall, now laying flat by her on the ground.
I remember nodding obediently, you see, in our previous trips, we'd figured out some rules. Well, miraculously stumbled on them. We hadn't realized how close we'd gotten to damnation until we grew older.
"Have a safe tr-" As I closed my eyes, everything cut off, for the first 5 seconds, I saw nothing. No, not the black you see when you close your eyes. Complete and utter nothing. I couldn't think, yet I felt time passing.
Not long after, I felt myself being lifted up. Higher and higher. Higher and higher and higher. In 2 seconds, I was higher than anyone had ever been. Just a feeling I got.
8 seconds into the 'trip', I could see a pinprick of light appear in my vision and started feeling happy. As I approached and the light grew, the feeling of happiness I'd experienced filled up every sense. I could see everything beautiful in life. Trees, animals, flowers, all my favorite foods. 'People' who I'd never met before and yet, I knew, I just knew LOVED me. It felt like the scene was caressing my eyes.
I could hear everything good, voices, affirmations, LOVE, this happened to all my senses. Smell, taste, touch as well. It was LOVE. No other way to describe it.
As I passed it by, on the 31st second of my trip, I felt myself plummeting and PLUMMETING hard all the light disappearing. On my 33rd second, I started smelling fire, and feeling what could only be described as DREAD and the feeling of refuse clinging to my skin, on the 34th second, I heard and saw-
I remember waking up in a jolt with my sister waking me by holding an eyelid open with her small fingers then SCREAMING at her, hugging her and crying all at the same time for letting me stay there past the 30 second mark. She pointed at the clock her bottom lip trembling, "T-the cll-uhk stopped working and I tried fixing it and I forgot and sorrrry."
...That was more than 20 years ago. A lot has happened since then. My parents who had us twins in their older age had already been moved to an old folks' home and are wasting away there.
We hadn't told anyone about 'Going to the fun place'. As we grew older, we'd used the corner of our little room as a fallback when things got rough. A bad break up, losing someone, depression, anxiety, everything. Feeling that LOVE always got us back on our feet. We knew it was dangerous, but stopping would mean having to face reality without its help, which we never learned to do.
We connected the dots and realized how close we were to damnation which took a lot of talking and turning to religion, thanking God for not having us end up in the hot hot place, rationalizing him as merciful. He wouldn't do that.
Though, I don't know what the point of all the prayer was now. You see, three months ago, she'd lost her husband and two of her kids in a house-fire.
A complete tragedy, where the only reason she and her newborn had survived was because of birth complications she'd been hospitalized for. Coupled with her post-partum depression, grief and resultant insomnia, she'd collapsed and gone into critical condition.
I remember getting the dreadful call the day she collapsed, and immediately contacting her. She broke down and told me that her daughter never stopped crying no matter what she did coupled with all the grief she's been experiencing, she couldn't do it. She tried holding it in, but it stressed her out way too much.
"C-can I 'Go to the fun place, bro?'" She asked.
Unlike my sister, I'd never moved out of the suburban house. I never married and I commuted to work from here. I couldn't say no, so, it was decided that she'd move back in bringing her infant.
*Knock knock*
I remember the relief and sadness I experienced when I opened the door. Yes, she was my sister, alive and good, but the bags under her eyes, her sallow skin, the dead look her pupils gave off as she held my niece close.
"WAHHH WAAAHH," my niece cried nonstop to no avail, Sheily's expression didn't change a bit.
Nevertheless, I hugged them both, I knew, or rather, I'd hoped that this was temporary shock caused by grief.
I picked my niece, Reya, up and asked my sister if she wanted to go now.
"Yes." She replied.
That night was a happy time, my sister slept! Yes, she slept through all the crying and when she woke up she looked as bright as ever. She hugged Reya and cried.
"I love you." She cried.
Over the next few days, I'd set her appointments with therapists, everything looked good for once.
3 weeks later, I'd noticed something. You see, we set a rule that she wouldn't set foot in the room with the corner that led to the 'Fun place', I had the key, so she always had to wait for me to unlock it. Her requests had been getting more and more frequent.
"WAAAHHH WAAAAH"
"Please, just one more time. The crying is starting to get to me again," she wept.
I let her. We'd always relied on the 'fun place', not to this degree, it was my mistake.
2 months since she moved back in, she looked dead again for most of the day and only smiled a bit when coming back from the fun place. I was always stressed at work and asked her to message me regularly. I tried asking her to try focusing more on her therapy and telling her that her daughter needed her.
"WAAAH WAAAAH WAAAAAAH!"
"I know," she replied.
3 months with her being back. I stood by the door home and heard weeping. HARD weeping. Weeping filled with GRIEF. I rushed, my heart hammering as I rushed to open the door.
*Clack Clack*
*Creak*
As I opened the door and hurried in, leaving it open behind me, I saw across the small living room, the handle to the room was broken and the door unhinged.
I hurried in filled with hellish DREAD, and saw my sister holding her daughter tight, tears streaming down her face, looking up at me.
"B-bro, I was-*hrgk*\-locked out, a-all the crying was making me go insane, I-I thought that if she, if Reya experienced that LOVE for once, she would stop c-c-crying."
*Hrhuk hrgk*
"I-I was right, s-she looked so peaceful, so, so, so, so peaceful. That I forgot. I forgot."
I stood there stunned, looking at Reya's chest, looking for any movement in her muscles. None.
She looked up at my eyes, her lips bitten, eyes hopeful, "B-but bro, l-listen here, every time we went close to t-the hot hot place, o-our brows would furrow and we'd grimace in pain."
She looked down at her, "M-my baby only looked peaceful from b-beginning to end. G-God wouldn't let her go to the hot hot place, r-r-right?" She looked up, hopeful.
It's been a few days since then, I made her swear off the room until we moved. I've been making her go to therapy and church.
I'm in my room, writing this while my sister is asleep, just to ask one question.
Would God let a child fall into the hot hot place?
#entertainment
source
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