Distressed Overseas Pakistani - Need Advice! Hi everyone…
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Distressed Overseas Pakistani - Need Advice!
Hi everyone,
I’m looking for some advice on how to look for a girl / rishta.
I’m 31 years old, originally from Islamabad, and currently working as a senior cybersecurity analyst in Sydney, Australia. I moved here as a permanent resident and have since developed a solid career, but it’s been really frustrating lately when it comes to finding the right match.
I consider myself at least above average looking, if not good, have an athletic build, and go to the gym regularly. I’m also a good cook, I pray regularly, and I don’t have the typical mindset that a girl needs to cook. I’m fairly easygoing and just want my wife to be a good friend and a partner.
My parents have been trying to find a girl, but the issue is that they’re mostly searching within the family and neighbourhood back in Pakistan, and don’t really have many connections. They’re doing their best, but I don’t think "Auntie Shakeela" knows anyone in Sydney 😅. I don’t want to pressure them or force them to look more intensely.
The only time I really got to interact with girls was at university. Back then, I was very thin and didn’t consider myself attractive. I also didn’t find anyone in my class or department particularly attractive. There were a few girls from other departments, but it would’ve taken a lot of effort to approach them. On top of that, the couple of girls I was attracted to seemed quite well off (I could tell from their cars), while I used to get around on a bike.
At the time, I focused on my studies and kept telling myself that once I'm finished, I’d start going to the gym, work on myself, and take better care of my appearance. Little did I know that I’d never really get another proper chance to interact with girls.
After moving to Australia, the social circle never really developed as I didn't study here. I do have some friends but I can’t find many Pakistani girls around, and the ones I do come across, I’m honestly not attracted to. I should mention that I’m specifically looking to marry a Pakistani girl due to personal preference, and I’m open to proposals from both Pakistan and overseas.
Just to clarify, I’m not chasing “model level” looks or perfection. Yes, physical attraction does matter to me, but I’m more interested in someone who’s reasonably good looking to me and, more importantly, someone I feel genuine compatibility with.
I’ve also tried various halal dating apps, but they didn’t really work for me. It felt like swiping through 100 profiles to maybe like 1 or 2, and even those matches didn’t lead anywhere meaningful. Most conversations started with the usual “trying to be funny” phase and then felt more like teenagers chatting than two adults seriously looking for marriage. On top of that, it feels like the more attractive profiles are flooded with likes, making it hard to stand out or have a genuine conversation.
At this point, I feel like I should put my self-respect aside and start messaging random girls on social media 😭
So my question is: how do you actually find the right person in this situation?
I've got a career, looks, personality, and still pretty much no options to choose from.
I’m pretty sure a lot of overseas Pakistanis go through something similar. Any advice on other ways to find or meet someone in a meaningful, natural way would be really appreciated. I’m feeling a bit stuck and frustrated.
Thanks in advance.
#current_events #local
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Hi everyone,
I’m looking for some advice on how to look for a girl / rishta.
I’m 31 years old, originally from Islamabad, and currently working as a senior cybersecurity analyst in Sydney, Australia. I moved here as a permanent resident and have since developed a solid career, but it’s been really frustrating lately when it comes to finding the right match.
I consider myself at least above average looking, if not good, have an athletic build, and go to the gym regularly. I’m also a good cook, I pray regularly, and I don’t have the typical mindset that a girl needs to cook. I’m fairly easygoing and just want my wife to be a good friend and a partner.
My parents have been trying to find a girl, but the issue is that they’re mostly searching within the family and neighbourhood back in Pakistan, and don’t really have many connections. They’re doing their best, but I don’t think "Auntie Shakeela" knows anyone in Sydney 😅. I don’t want to pressure them or force them to look more intensely.
The only time I really got to interact with girls was at university. Back then, I was very thin and didn’t consider myself attractive. I also didn’t find anyone in my class or department particularly attractive. There were a few girls from other departments, but it would’ve taken a lot of effort to approach them. On top of that, the couple of girls I was attracted to seemed quite well off (I could tell from their cars), while I used to get around on a bike.
At the time, I focused on my studies and kept telling myself that once I'm finished, I’d start going to the gym, work on myself, and take better care of my appearance. Little did I know that I’d never really get another proper chance to interact with girls.
After moving to Australia, the social circle never really developed as I didn't study here. I do have some friends but I can’t find many Pakistani girls around, and the ones I do come across, I’m honestly not attracted to. I should mention that I’m specifically looking to marry a Pakistani girl due to personal preference, and I’m open to proposals from both Pakistan and overseas.
Just to clarify, I’m not chasing “model level” looks or perfection. Yes, physical attraction does matter to me, but I’m more interested in someone who’s reasonably good looking to me and, more importantly, someone I feel genuine compatibility with.
I’ve also tried various halal dating apps, but they didn’t really work for me. It felt like swiping through 100 profiles to maybe like 1 or 2, and even those matches didn’t lead anywhere meaningful. Most conversations started with the usual “trying to be funny” phase and then felt more like teenagers chatting than two adults seriously looking for marriage. On top of that, it feels like the more attractive profiles are flooded with likes, making it hard to stand out or have a genuine conversation.
At this point, I feel like I should put my self-respect aside and start messaging random girls on social media 😭
So my question is: how do you actually find the right person in this situation?
I've got a career, looks, personality, and still pretty much no options to choose from.
I’m pretty sure a lot of overseas Pakistanis go through something similar. Any advice on other ways to find or meet someone in a meaningful, natural way would be really appreciated. I’m feeling a bit stuck and frustrated.
Thanks in advance.
#current_events #local
source
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