Overstabulated My wife and I were driving home after a…
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Overstabulated
My wife and I were driving home after a busy morning doing a food shop at our local supermarket. We always find it so stressful. The roads are always busy, and the supermarket is very overwhelming. It's full of screaming children and parents who are oblivious as they fill their trolleys and park them in everyone's way. There's also the supermarket staff asking for a cleaner or another member of staff to open a till over the radio, along with that really annoying beeping sound that plays constantly before every message.
We weren't too far from home. We'd just turned off a busy road, and it was only a short drive down to the end of the street before we'd be home. I couldn't wait to get home, relax in front of the TV and catch up on some football this weekend. It was all I could think about in the supermarket and what kept me going.
As I continued driving down our street, I noticed a van coming towards me. It was a grocery delivery van. It was bright green, with a big cartoon avocado on the side and the name of the supermarket printed next to it. You guessed it "Avacado". I'd never seen this company before. It must be new.
It got me thinking maybe we could do online grocery shopping and have it delivered instead of going to that stupid supermarket that I hate. But I noticed, as it got closer, that it was on the wrong side of the road and coming towards me at some speed.
He was getting closer and closer.
He's going to move, right?
This was what I kept asking myself, but he just kept coming. I ended up having to swerve my vehicle. My heart was racing. What was this guy thinking?
I threw my hands in the air, slammed my horn and gave him a stern look.
"You idiot!" I shouted in his direction.
I couldn't believe it. What the hell was wrong with this guy?
I turned to my wife.
"Are you okay, Sandra?" I asked, making sure she wasn't too stressed or worried.
"I'm fine, just a little shaken up," she said before going back to her phone to message her sister, who was coming to town soon.
I took a moment and continued driving down the road, but all I could picture was his face. I hadn't really processed his reaction because I was so angry at the time, but he had this cold stare in his eyes, almost as if he was unaware that he was in the wrong or didn't know where the hell he was.
We were outside our home now. I pulled into the driveway and couldn't wait to get the shopping put away and watch some football. It had been a stressful morning.
We brought the bags in from my car and placed them in the kitchen.
"Dennis, I'm going to try and call my sister," Sandra said as she went upstairs, leaving me with the shopping.
"Great," I said under my breath as she rushed upstairs.
As I was putting the shopping away, I just couldn't get the image of that delivery driver's facial expression out of my head. I'd never had someone look at me that way before. He was just so vacant, but angry at the same time.
Right, the shopping was away now. I was going to try and forget about this morning and move on. I'd grabbed my favourite crisps, and it was time to watch the game from the comfort of my sofa and relax.
My wife came downstairs and stood directly in front of the TV as I was stuffing my face with crisps. I was trying to look around her to see the screen.
"My sister isn't answering my messages or the phone. I need to know what time she's coming so we can plan dinner," she said, continuing to block the TV.
"You never told me we had visitors coming round today," I replied.
Just as I thought I was going to get some peace and quiet today.
"I told you, remember? We said we would make a nice meal for her. She's going through a difficult time at the moment with the break-up," she said, with her hands on her hips and a frustrated look on her face.
"Okay, I'll prepare the meat," I said as I dragged myself off the sofa.
Shit, that's today.
I knew she was coming over soon, but today? I really didn't want to have to deal with this today.
I entered the kitchen and went straight to the fridge for the steaks, but then I realised that I'd never picked any up at the supermarket.
What was I going to do? She was already mad at me for forgetting her sister was coming over, and now I'd have to take the blame for not picking up any steaks.
I'd better go and tell her.
"Babe!" I shouted towards the living room.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
There was a loud knock at the door.
I was all for a distraction, considering I didn't want to break the news, but whoever this was had practically put the front door through.
I walked towards the front door. I was cautious, given how loud the knocking had been. I checked through the window first, trying not to give away that I was there.
I slowly pulled the curtain to one side and looked through the small gap I created.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was the delivery driver from earlier.
Why was he at my house?
"Babe," I whispered quietly as she looked at me, waiting for me to tell her who was at the door.
"It's the delivery driver from earlier."
I saw her face change and could see the fear in her eyes.
"I'll open it and tell him to go away," I said confidently.
I'm not sure whether it was to reassure my wife or to convince myself that I could do it.
I walked towards the door. I slowly rested my sweaty hand on the handle and turned the key with the other hand, carefully opening the door slowly.
He was looking at me with that same cold stare and wasn't saying a word.
"Can I help you?" I asked, trying to figure out this man's intentions.
He continued to give me that cold stare. I'd never had to endure such intense eye contact in my life.
He then began to shake. He was almost having a fit, and froth was forming around his mouth.
Fuck. What do i do in this situation? On one hand, he was some mentally unstable man who had nearly put my door through after the incident on the road. But on the other hand, he could be having a medical emergency.
I'm not sure if I was making the right decision, but I reached for the door handle again. My palms were even sweatier now.
I was terrified, but I had to close this door. I had to look out for myself and my wife.
I grabbed the handle and slammed the door shut as fast as I could.
I turned and looked at my wife, who was standing there, scared. She had witnessed the man shaking uncontrollably. I could tell from the expression on her face that she'd seen everything.
I slowly returned to the window and, just like earlier, took a peek from behind the curtain.
I didn't see him at the door. He was gone, and suddenly I felt more relaxed.
I was terrified that this man would remain on my property or, even worse, try to break into our home.
I looked towards the road and noticed that the delivery van was still parked on the street. I could just about make out the delivery driver sitting in the driver's seat. He seemed to be looking straight ahead, almost as if he wasn't aware of his surroundings or where he was, just like earlier when he'd nearly run me off the road.
"That freak is sitting in his van outside our house. I'm calling his place of work," I said angrily to my wife.
Who the hell does he think he is?
I dried my hands on my trousers and grabbed my phone out of my pocket.
I remembered that the company was called Avacado because it had a cartoon avocado on the side of the van.
I searched for the company on my phone. The website was very unusual. It didn't look like most mainstream supermarket websites traditionally did, it was very basic but it did have a telephone number for customer service.
I copied the number and began to call them.
I needed to get this man away from my house, and I wanted his place of work to know how he was representing their business.
I noticed that, as I made the call, the driver started to pull away from my house, but I still wanted this resolved. I wanted this guy to pay for how he'd acted.
"Hello, Avacado. How may I help you?" said the man on the phone cheerfully.
"Hey, I want to report one of your drivers," I said in a stern tone.
"I'm sorry to hear that. What happened today, sir?" he asked, his voice now filled with concern.
"This asshole who was delivering today in my area nearly ran me off the road and then proceeded to stand at my door trying to intimidate me," I shouted down the phone in anger.
"I'm really sorry to hear that. I'll be sure to let management know. Can I send you some groceries today as an apology? Maybe something you're running low on?" he asked, his voice quivering slightly.
The realisation hit me, and I felt awful. I was giving the wrong guy a hard time. Why couldn't I be a man and face the delivery driver with the same energy?
It wasn't this guy's fault.
"That's great to hear. Please ensure my complaint reaches management."
I felt bad for this guy, but I did need some steaks for the meal later.
I covered the phone and went into the kitchen, away from my wife, whose head was buried in her phone again.
"We're running low on steak. Maybe that's something you could deliver to us today?"
I think I'd found a solution. I couldn't face the wife and tell her I hadn't got any steak after the day I'd had.
"Yes, we will deliver that immediately, sir," he said in that cheerful tone again.
I gave him my address. This was perfect.
"We will be with you within the hour, sir."
"Perfect. See you soon," I said before putting the phone down.
"Babe, it's all sorted. I made the complaint. I think that guy is going to get what's coming to him," I said cautiously, without revealing that I'd managed to get some free steaks.
"Good. I hope he loses his job for what he did," Sandra said as she put her phone in her handbag.
"My sister called. She's ready to be collected from the train station."
"That's a relief. I know you've been worried about not hearing from her," I said in my most convincing voice.
To be honest, I wished she'd missed her train or, better still, got lost.
"I'm going to go and fetch her now. Don't forget to do dinner. See you soon," she said as she rushed out the door.
Perfect. I had to cook the whole dinner as well.
Not long after Sandra left I saw the delivery van pull up outside the house. Part of me was concerned that it might be the guy from before, so I waited at the window to try and get a glimpse of the driver.
I saw the van door open slowly, and it was a different guy. He was quite short and skinny, very different in build from the previous driver.
I watched him unload some crates from the back of the van, and they appeared to contain the steaks I'd asked for.
Things were finally looking up. The steak situation was sorted, and it hadn't cost me a penny.
I waited patiently for a knock at the door.
Knock, knock, knock.
Now I just had to wait a few moments so he wouldn't think I'd been standing at the door this whole time or watching him through the window.
Enough time passed, and I opened the door.
"Hello, I have your free groceries," said the driver with a big grin on his face.
I recognised the voice.
It was the same guy from the phone call when I'd made the complaint.
"Hey, thank you for the steaks. I appreciate it," I said as I took them out of the crate.
"No problem, and sorry about earlier. Goodbye. Enjoy the rest of your day," he said before skipping back to his van.
What a nice guy and great service. Maybe I should consider using them instead of making trips to the supermarket, assuming they've sacked that lunatic.
I took the steaks to the kitchen and started cooking, ready for my sister-in-law to arrive. I'd never cooked steak before, so I decided to make extra so I could give it a try.
Her sister is quite picky, and nothing ever seems good enough for her.
I thought this looked fine. I'd never had steak before, so I didn't know what to expect.
I took a bite.
It was actually pretty good. Maybe I should try eating steak more often instead of fast-food burgers.
I began cooking the rest of the steaks and as they were sizzling away I decided to go into the dining area to prepare the table. As I was laying out the cutlery, I heard something at the front window, almost like a light tapping noise.
I'm sure it was nothing, but after the day I'd had, I was feeling on edge.
I slowly approached the window and reached for the curtain. I pulled it back, and the guy who had delivered the steaks was standing at the window.
"Hello, can I help you?" I asked, confused.
It had been a while since he'd dropped off the steaks, so why was he still here? And why was he standing at the window?
"I just wanted to check if the steaks were okay," he said with this massive grin on his face.
"Yes, the steak is perfect, but can you please move away from the window and leave?" I asked, trying to come across as grateful but also wanting him to get off my property.
What was he doing just looking through my window?
He began to shake at the window, exactly like the first delivery driver. He was shaking at such speed that I could no longer see anything but a blur.
What the fuck was going on today? Was this real, or was something wrong with me?
He began to slow down. He was still shaking, but it was settling. Just as I began to think he'd finished, I noticed that he'd changed.
He had almost shapeshifted into the first delivery driver.
This couldn't be real.
Am I fucking crazy?
He lifted his right arm towards the window and drove his elbow straight through it. The window shattered, and glass flew towards me. A big piece of glass hit me in the face, and I could feel that it had cut my forehead.
As I wiped away some blood from my forehead this made me think that it was all real and not a dream.
You can't feel pain in dreams, right?
He approached me slowly, towering over me as he got closer.
I froze. I didn't know what to do in this situation. I wasn't a confrontational person, and I'd never been in a fight, let alone with something I didn't think was even human.
He looked at me with a little smirk on his face which was a very different expression from what he's given me previously. He leaned towards me and said
"How does your sister-in-law taste?"
My mind instantly went to the steak.
I begin to throw up all over the floor.
I'd never had steak before. Could it have been human? Could it have been my sister-in-law?
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
Had I really just eaten her?
I was curled up on the floor, unable to control the aggressive vomiting.
Then suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my side.
The realisation hit me as I sensed his presence beside me. I could feel that the sharp pain was coming from a knife lodged in my side.
I rolled onto my side that didn't have the knife buried into it and looked up at him.
He no longer had that cold look in his eyes like he had earlier in the day. Instead, he had a smirk on his face, as if he was getting off on all of this, as though it was funny to him.
He walked away from me as I bled out across the carpet. I lay in my own blood and sick, barely able to move.
He went into the kitchen for a moment and returned with the steaks I had been cooking, or at least what I thought was steak.
He had three steaks in his hands. He pulled up a chair at the dining table and began eating them straight from his hands.
I'm not sure whether it was due to the loss of blood or because I was moments away from death, but he began to shake, much like he had earlier.
He transformed into a woman.
I waited for the shaking to settle, he was no longer a blur and as I looked closer, I realised who it was.
It was my sister-in-law.
#entertainment
source
My wife and I were driving home after a busy morning doing a food shop at our local supermarket. We always find it so stressful. The roads are always busy, and the supermarket is very overwhelming. It's full of screaming children and parents who are oblivious as they fill their trolleys and park them in everyone's way. There's also the supermarket staff asking for a cleaner or another member of staff to open a till over the radio, along with that really annoying beeping sound that plays constantly before every message.
We weren't too far from home. We'd just turned off a busy road, and it was only a short drive down to the end of the street before we'd be home. I couldn't wait to get home, relax in front of the TV and catch up on some football this weekend. It was all I could think about in the supermarket and what kept me going.
As I continued driving down our street, I noticed a van coming towards me. It was a grocery delivery van. It was bright green, with a big cartoon avocado on the side and the name of the supermarket printed next to it. You guessed it "Avacado". I'd never seen this company before. It must be new.
It got me thinking maybe we could do online grocery shopping and have it delivered instead of going to that stupid supermarket that I hate. But I noticed, as it got closer, that it was on the wrong side of the road and coming towards me at some speed.
He was getting closer and closer.
He's going to move, right?
This was what I kept asking myself, but he just kept coming. I ended up having to swerve my vehicle. My heart was racing. What was this guy thinking?
I threw my hands in the air, slammed my horn and gave him a stern look.
"You idiot!" I shouted in his direction.
I couldn't believe it. What the hell was wrong with this guy?
I turned to my wife.
"Are you okay, Sandra?" I asked, making sure she wasn't too stressed or worried.
"I'm fine, just a little shaken up," she said before going back to her phone to message her sister, who was coming to town soon.
I took a moment and continued driving down the road, but all I could picture was his face. I hadn't really processed his reaction because I was so angry at the time, but he had this cold stare in his eyes, almost as if he was unaware that he was in the wrong or didn't know where the hell he was.
We were outside our home now. I pulled into the driveway and couldn't wait to get the shopping put away and watch some football. It had been a stressful morning.
We brought the bags in from my car and placed them in the kitchen.
"Dennis, I'm going to try and call my sister," Sandra said as she went upstairs, leaving me with the shopping.
"Great," I said under my breath as she rushed upstairs.
As I was putting the shopping away, I just couldn't get the image of that delivery driver's facial expression out of my head. I'd never had someone look at me that way before. He was just so vacant, but angry at the same time.
Right, the shopping was away now. I was going to try and forget about this morning and move on. I'd grabbed my favourite crisps, and it was time to watch the game from the comfort of my sofa and relax.
My wife came downstairs and stood directly in front of the TV as I was stuffing my face with crisps. I was trying to look around her to see the screen.
"My sister isn't answering my messages or the phone. I need to know what time she's coming so we can plan dinner," she said, continuing to block the TV.
"You never told me we had visitors coming round today," I replied.
Just as I thought I was going to get some peace and quiet today.
"I told you, remember? We said we would make a nice meal for her. She's going through a difficult time at the moment with the break-up," she said, with her hands on her hips and a frustrated look on her face.
"Okay, I'll prepare the meat," I said as I dragged myself off the sofa.
Shit, that's today.
I knew she was coming over soon, but today? I really didn't want to have to deal with this today.
I entered the kitchen and went straight to the fridge for the steaks, but then I realised that I'd never picked any up at the supermarket.
What was I going to do? She was already mad at me for forgetting her sister was coming over, and now I'd have to take the blame for not picking up any steaks.
I'd better go and tell her.
"Babe!" I shouted towards the living room.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
There was a loud knock at the door.
I was all for a distraction, considering I didn't want to break the news, but whoever this was had practically put the front door through.
I walked towards the front door. I was cautious, given how loud the knocking had been. I checked through the window first, trying not to give away that I was there.
I slowly pulled the curtain to one side and looked through the small gap I created.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was the delivery driver from earlier.
Why was he at my house?
"Babe," I whispered quietly as she looked at me, waiting for me to tell her who was at the door.
"It's the delivery driver from earlier."
I saw her face change and could see the fear in her eyes.
"I'll open it and tell him to go away," I said confidently.
I'm not sure whether it was to reassure my wife or to convince myself that I could do it.
I walked towards the door. I slowly rested my sweaty hand on the handle and turned the key with the other hand, carefully opening the door slowly.
He was looking at me with that same cold stare and wasn't saying a word.
"Can I help you?" I asked, trying to figure out this man's intentions.
He continued to give me that cold stare. I'd never had to endure such intense eye contact in my life.
He then began to shake. He was almost having a fit, and froth was forming around his mouth.
Fuck. What do i do in this situation? On one hand, he was some mentally unstable man who had nearly put my door through after the incident on the road. But on the other hand, he could be having a medical emergency.
I'm not sure if I was making the right decision, but I reached for the door handle again. My palms were even sweatier now.
I was terrified, but I had to close this door. I had to look out for myself and my wife.
I grabbed the handle and slammed the door shut as fast as I could.
I turned and looked at my wife, who was standing there, scared. She had witnessed the man shaking uncontrollably. I could tell from the expression on her face that she'd seen everything.
I slowly returned to the window and, just like earlier, took a peek from behind the curtain.
I didn't see him at the door. He was gone, and suddenly I felt more relaxed.
I was terrified that this man would remain on my property or, even worse, try to break into our home.
I looked towards the road and noticed that the delivery van was still parked on the street. I could just about make out the delivery driver sitting in the driver's seat. He seemed to be looking straight ahead, almost as if he wasn't aware of his surroundings or where he was, just like earlier when he'd nearly run me off the road.
"That freak is sitting in his van outside our house. I'm calling his place of work," I said angrily to my wife.
Who the hell does he think he is?
I dried my hands on my trousers and grabbed my phone out of my pocket.
I remembered that the company was called Avacado because it had a cartoon avocado on the side of the van.
I searched for the company on my phone. The website was very unusual. It didn't look like most mainstream supermarket websites traditionally did, it was very basic but it did have a telephone number for customer service.
I copied the number and began to call them.
I needed to get this man away from my house, and I wanted his place of work to know how he was representing their business.
I noticed that, as I made the call, the driver started to pull away from my house, but I still wanted this resolved. I wanted this guy to pay for how he'd acted.
"Hello, Avacado. How may I help you?" said the man on the phone cheerfully.
"Hey, I want to report one of your drivers," I said in a stern tone.
"I'm sorry to hear that. What happened today, sir?" he asked, his voice now filled with concern.
"This asshole who was delivering today in my area nearly ran me off the road and then proceeded to stand at my door trying to intimidate me," I shouted down the phone in anger.
"I'm really sorry to hear that. I'll be sure to let management know. Can I send you some groceries today as an apology? Maybe something you're running low on?" he asked, his voice quivering slightly.
The realisation hit me, and I felt awful. I was giving the wrong guy a hard time. Why couldn't I be a man and face the delivery driver with the same energy?
It wasn't this guy's fault.
"That's great to hear. Please ensure my complaint reaches management."
I felt bad for this guy, but I did need some steaks for the meal later.
I covered the phone and went into the kitchen, away from my wife, whose head was buried in her phone again.
"We're running low on steak. Maybe that's something you could deliver to us today?"
I think I'd found a solution. I couldn't face the wife and tell her I hadn't got any steak after the day I'd had.
"Yes, we will deliver that immediately, sir," he said in that cheerful tone again.
I gave him my address. This was perfect.
"We will be with you within the hour, sir."
"Perfect. See you soon," I said before putting the phone down.
"Babe, it's all sorted. I made the complaint. I think that guy is going to get what's coming to him," I said cautiously, without revealing that I'd managed to get some free steaks.
"Good. I hope he loses his job for what he did," Sandra said as she put her phone in her handbag.
"My sister called. She's ready to be collected from the train station."
"That's a relief. I know you've been worried about not hearing from her," I said in my most convincing voice.
To be honest, I wished she'd missed her train or, better still, got lost.
"I'm going to go and fetch her now. Don't forget to do dinner. See you soon," she said as she rushed out the door.
Perfect. I had to cook the whole dinner as well.
Not long after Sandra left I saw the delivery van pull up outside the house. Part of me was concerned that it might be the guy from before, so I waited at the window to try and get a glimpse of the driver.
I saw the van door open slowly, and it was a different guy. He was quite short and skinny, very different in build from the previous driver.
I watched him unload some crates from the back of the van, and they appeared to contain the steaks I'd asked for.
Things were finally looking up. The steak situation was sorted, and it hadn't cost me a penny.
I waited patiently for a knock at the door.
Knock, knock, knock.
Now I just had to wait a few moments so he wouldn't think I'd been standing at the door this whole time or watching him through the window.
Enough time passed, and I opened the door.
"Hello, I have your free groceries," said the driver with a big grin on his face.
I recognised the voice.
It was the same guy from the phone call when I'd made the complaint.
"Hey, thank you for the steaks. I appreciate it," I said as I took them out of the crate.
"No problem, and sorry about earlier. Goodbye. Enjoy the rest of your day," he said before skipping back to his van.
What a nice guy and great service. Maybe I should consider using them instead of making trips to the supermarket, assuming they've sacked that lunatic.
I took the steaks to the kitchen and started cooking, ready for my sister-in-law to arrive. I'd never cooked steak before, so I decided to make extra so I could give it a try.
Her sister is quite picky, and nothing ever seems good enough for her.
I thought this looked fine. I'd never had steak before, so I didn't know what to expect.
I took a bite.
It was actually pretty good. Maybe I should try eating steak more often instead of fast-food burgers.
I began cooking the rest of the steaks and as they were sizzling away I decided to go into the dining area to prepare the table. As I was laying out the cutlery, I heard something at the front window, almost like a light tapping noise.
I'm sure it was nothing, but after the day I'd had, I was feeling on edge.
I slowly approached the window and reached for the curtain. I pulled it back, and the guy who had delivered the steaks was standing at the window.
"Hello, can I help you?" I asked, confused.
It had been a while since he'd dropped off the steaks, so why was he still here? And why was he standing at the window?
"I just wanted to check if the steaks were okay," he said with this massive grin on his face.
"Yes, the steak is perfect, but can you please move away from the window and leave?" I asked, trying to come across as grateful but also wanting him to get off my property.
What was he doing just looking through my window?
He began to shake at the window, exactly like the first delivery driver. He was shaking at such speed that I could no longer see anything but a blur.
What the fuck was going on today? Was this real, or was something wrong with me?
He began to slow down. He was still shaking, but it was settling. Just as I began to think he'd finished, I noticed that he'd changed.
He had almost shapeshifted into the first delivery driver.
This couldn't be real.
Am I fucking crazy?
He lifted his right arm towards the window and drove his elbow straight through it. The window shattered, and glass flew towards me. A big piece of glass hit me in the face, and I could feel that it had cut my forehead.
As I wiped away some blood from my forehead this made me think that it was all real and not a dream.
You can't feel pain in dreams, right?
He approached me slowly, towering over me as he got closer.
I froze. I didn't know what to do in this situation. I wasn't a confrontational person, and I'd never been in a fight, let alone with something I didn't think was even human.
He looked at me with a little smirk on his face which was a very different expression from what he's given me previously. He leaned towards me and said
"How does your sister-in-law taste?"
My mind instantly went to the steak.
I begin to throw up all over the floor.
I'd never had steak before. Could it have been human? Could it have been my sister-in-law?
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
Had I really just eaten her?
I was curled up on the floor, unable to control the aggressive vomiting.
Then suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my side.
The realisation hit me as I sensed his presence beside me. I could feel that the sharp pain was coming from a knife lodged in my side.
I rolled onto my side that didn't have the knife buried into it and looked up at him.
He no longer had that cold look in his eyes like he had earlier in the day. Instead, he had a smirk on his face, as if he was getting off on all of this, as though it was funny to him.
He walked away from me as I bled out across the carpet. I lay in my own blood and sick, barely able to move.
He went into the kitchen for a moment and returned with the steaks I had been cooking, or at least what I thought was steak.
He had three steaks in his hands. He pulled up a chair at the dining table and began eating them straight from his hands.
I'm not sure whether it was due to the loss of blood or because I was moments away from death, but he began to shake, much like he had earlier.
He transformed into a woman.
I waited for the shaking to settle, he was no longer a blur and as I looked closer, I realised who it was.
It was my sister-in-law.
#entertainment
source
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