DIYing everything just to keep up in an expensive…
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DIYing everything just to keep up in an expensive neighborhood
Anyone else live somewhere expensive and feel like you only look like you fit in because you DIY everything?
I live in an expensive suburb in San Diego where it seems normal to pay for landscapers, pool service, house cleaners, beauty services, car washes, etc. I’m on a fixed income, so I do a ton of it myself instead. The way in which I became a homeowner is complicated, however when I purchased my home, I was a relatively high earner and in good health. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) 3 years ago and went on permanent disability in 2025.
My life probably looks pretty normal. I still look put together, my house looks fine and I’m slowly getting everything to the point where it blends in. But underneath it, the reality is completely different, and sometimes that makes me feel kind of alien. I especially feel weird when I hang my clothes out to dry in my backyard. I have a collapsable mosquito tent and put two drying racks inside of it on warm, sunny days. The cost of utilities in my city is among the highest in the country. But most people aren’t fretting over $15-20 every month, do their laundry whenever they feel like it and don’t think twice about throwing things in the dryer.
While not in the same category, I DIY nearly all of my own beauty care, except for minor Botox. My hair, skin and nails always look polished and I blend in seamlessly with the other women at the med spa. But underneath, I know I’m doing my own balayage, waxing everything and keeping up my manicure and pedicure all on my own. It almost feels like I don’t really fit in because I don’t have that shared experience of paying for salon services. I think what feels strange with house stuff and beauty care is that I often look like I fit in, but I only “fit in” because I’m doing a ton of invisible labor myself.
Curious if anyone else has that disconnect. What do you DIY because the people around you assume you’d just pay for it? And what are the sneaky categories of spending that are actually worth learning to do yourself?
\*\*ETA\*\* I live in a neighborhood with an HOA.
#finance
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Anyone else live somewhere expensive and feel like you only look like you fit in because you DIY everything?
I live in an expensive suburb in San Diego where it seems normal to pay for landscapers, pool service, house cleaners, beauty services, car washes, etc. I’m on a fixed income, so I do a ton of it myself instead. The way in which I became a homeowner is complicated, however when I purchased my home, I was a relatively high earner and in good health. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) 3 years ago and went on permanent disability in 2025.
My life probably looks pretty normal. I still look put together, my house looks fine and I’m slowly getting everything to the point where it blends in. But underneath it, the reality is completely different, and sometimes that makes me feel kind of alien. I especially feel weird when I hang my clothes out to dry in my backyard. I have a collapsable mosquito tent and put two drying racks inside of it on warm, sunny days. The cost of utilities in my city is among the highest in the country. But most people aren’t fretting over $15-20 every month, do their laundry whenever they feel like it and don’t think twice about throwing things in the dryer.
While not in the same category, I DIY nearly all of my own beauty care, except for minor Botox. My hair, skin and nails always look polished and I blend in seamlessly with the other women at the med spa. But underneath, I know I’m doing my own balayage, waxing everything and keeping up my manicure and pedicure all on my own. It almost feels like I don’t really fit in because I don’t have that shared experience of paying for salon services. I think what feels strange with house stuff and beauty care is that I often look like I fit in, but I only “fit in” because I’m doing a ton of invisible labor myself.
Curious if anyone else has that disconnect. What do you DIY because the people around you assume you’d just pay for it? And what are the sneaky categories of spending that are actually worth learning to do yourself?
\*\*ETA\*\* I live in a neighborhood with an HOA.
#finance
source
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