I started having nightmares about memories I can't…
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I started having nightmares about memories I can't remember
Hi everyone, I’m not exactly sure how to tell this story as I’m still rather shaken up from the whole experience, but I guess I’ll just start from the beginning.
About two months ago, I was venting to one of my close friends, Kaylee, about something that's bothered me for years. I have almost no memories from the time I was eight to eleven. It's like someone took a knife to that section of my life and carved it clean out. Every psychiatrist’s take that I've read says memory gaps are usually caused by severe trauma, but none of my family or friends from that time remembers anything unusual happening during those years.
Anyways, while we were talking about all this, Kaylee suddenly straightened up and frowned. It was like a switch was flicked, but she suggested I go see her aunt. She said her aunt was a “Oneironaut”, whatever that means, and that she might be able to help me recover my memories through some kind of *ritual*.
I laughed because I honestly thought she was messing with me, but Kaylee didn't crack a smile. Instead, she reached across the table and grabbed my hand, telling me she'd been worried about me for a while and that my memory loss wasn't normal for me. She even said she was starting to worry about my mental state, something about noticing cracks. I was completely caught off guard by this. I’ve known Kaylee for years, and I'd never seen her act like that before. I pulled my hand away but Kaylee’s expression didn’t change.
In a panic, I made up some excuse about needing to get home, and left as fast as I could. When I got in the car, I checked my phone and saw she'd already sent me a text. It was just a phone number and the words,
"For when you need her."
That entire experience really shook me up for a few weeks after but I eventually started to forget about it. Kaylee and I didn’t really speak which was fine by me honestly as her behavior was scary as hell. I confided in my boyfriend, Mark, who agreed that the entire thing was bizarre but it was best to just let it go, so I did. About a month went by and nothing out of the ordinary occurred.
Then the dreams started.
The first one didn't seem like a big deal. I woke up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding so hard it felt like it was trying to break through my ribs. I was doubled over, panting loudly. I looked over to see Mark staring at me with wide eyes. Apparently I'd been screaming loud enough to wake him up. He leaned over and held me, asking what I’d had a nightmare about. The weird part was, I couldn't tell him what I'd dreamed about. I knew it had terrified me, I could still feel it sitting in my chest like a panic attack, but the actual dream was already gone. It wasn't like forgetting a normal dream after a few minutes though. I knew there had been something there, something important, but every time I reached for it, I came back empty-handed. It was the exact same feeling I'd had every time I tried to remember those missing years.
After that, it kept happening.
Every few nights I'd wake up gasping for air, drenched in sweat, with Mark trying to calm me down. Every time he'd ask me what I saw, and every time I’d tell him I didn’t know through sobs. All I was left with was that same awful feeling, like something was terribly wrong and I just couldn't remember what it was.
Every few nights eventually became every other night.
Then every night.
I got to the point where I dreaded going to bed. I'd stay up watching TV or scrolling on my phone until I physically couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, hoping I'd be too exhausted to dream. It never worked though no matter how late I stayed up. I'd wake up a few hours later shaking with that familiar crushing feeling.
The lack of sleep started bleeding into everything else. I caught myself making stupid mistakes at work as I struggled to keep my eyes open behind my keyboard. I had to cancel plans with friends because I was too exhausted to pretend I was okay, and when I didn’t I was too groggy to keep up with their conversation. Even Mark started asking if I should see a doctor, but I was too scared. What if they thought I was crazy, what would happen to me then? I could feel myself coming apart. Every night I had to choose between staying awake until sunrise or closing my eyes and facing whatever was waiting for me.
One night, after another dream I couldn't remember, I sat on the edge of my bed staring ahead while Mark slept beside me. The cracks of the wall blurred together until every shadow looked like it was watching me. I felt the bed creak as Mark sat up next to me. He grabbed my hand and said,"Have you talked to Kaylee lately?"
"No."
"...What about her aunt?
I didn’t reply. “You should go see her… Kaylee’s aunt.*"* I frowned at him and wanted to protest against it. I felt like my insanity would be confirmed if I contacted her. However, my exhaustion was getting the better of me so I agreed.
The next day I drove over to Claire's house.
The whole drive there I kept imagining what I was about to walk into. I expected candles everywhere, weird symbols on the walls, bookshelves full of old books, maybe a crystal ball sitting in the middle of the room. Honestly, I was mostly convinced I was about to get scammed out of a couple hundred bucks by some phony psychic but it was kind of hard to care anymore.
I was completely wrong though, Claire's house looked completely normal. Actually, normal isn't even the right word. It was spotless. Every single aspect of it was immaculate. The lawn, the bushes, the paint were all perfect. When she opened the door and invited me inside, it somehow got even cleaner. There wasn’t a speck of dust to be found and the entire house smelled strongly of a lemony cleaner.
Claire smiled when she saw me.
"I'm glad you came."
She led me into the living room where there was this yellow floral couch wrapped in clear plastic. I thought maybe she'd forgotten to take it off after buying it or something until she told me to lie down on it. I obeyed, the plastic crinkled underneath me. Her voice was so clear and calming that it was kind of hard to resist.
"Just try to relax," she said as she sat down across from me.
She then began to ask me questions. Where I grew up. What my parents were like. If I'd ever had any head injuries. Normal stuff. Honestly I began to think she was just some sort of unconventional therapist. Eventually she asked me why I'd come to see her.
"I can't remember part of my childhood."
"The years between eight and eleven?"
I looked up at her with a start, my heart racing.
"...How did you know that?"
She looked confused.
"Kaylee told me."
"Oh."
I felt stupid after that. Of course she would've told her. Claire smiled and began to speak in a rhythmic tone, "I want you to think about the last thing you remember before everything went blank."
I closed my eyes.
"I was lying on the couch."
"What couch?"
"The one in our living room."
"What were you doing?"
"Watching TV."
"And then?"
I frowned.
"I don't know."
"Try."
"I am."
"No. Don't think about it. Remember it."
I frowned even deeper.
“That’s the same thing.”
I don't really know how to explain what happened next. One second I was laying on Claire's couch. The next, I wasn't. When I opened my eyes, I was sitting on the old couch from my childhood house. I knew it was my house, but it didn't feel real. Everything was fuzzy around the edges, almost like I wasn't actually seeing it but remembering it. The TV was on, but I couldn't tell what was playing. The colors all blurred together whenever I tried to focus on them.
I tried lifting my arms but I couldn’t. My muscles felt locked in place. Then I heard someone outside, at least... I think it was outside(?) It was hard to tell where the voice was coming from but they called my name.
"Come play."
Before I could even think about it, my body stood up on its own. I remember trying to stop myself, but it was like I wasn't really in control anymore.I walked toward the front door and reached for the handle. The second my hand touched it, I opened my eyes. I was back in Claire's living room.
I shot upright so fast I almost fell off the couch. My whole body was shaking. I couldn't catch my breath, and for a few seconds I genuinely couldn't tell which room was real. Claire was just sitting there watching me.
"What was that?" I asked.
She didn’t react. Instead she asked, "Did you open the door?"
"I... I don't know."
She sighed and gestured for me to lay back down but I jumped up quickly and began to gather my things.
"I think I should go."
"If you leave now, the dreams aren't going to stop."
"I don't care."
"You will."
I didn't even answer. I practically ran out of the house.
That happened about two weeks ago today and I still have those awful dreams every night. However they’ve changed. I’ve started to remember flashes of color, familiar voices, but none of it has fallen into place yet.
One thing is for certain though the nightmares show no sign of stopping and I’m just at a loss for what to do. I’ve never felt anything as strange as that sensation before, it felt like I was immersed in a world that wasn’t real. However, what if she’s the answer to getting rid of these dreams? All I want is my normal life back. I guess that’s why I’m writing here to ask for help. What should I do?
#entertainment
source
Hi everyone, I’m not exactly sure how to tell this story as I’m still rather shaken up from the whole experience, but I guess I’ll just start from the beginning.
About two months ago, I was venting to one of my close friends, Kaylee, about something that's bothered me for years. I have almost no memories from the time I was eight to eleven. It's like someone took a knife to that section of my life and carved it clean out. Every psychiatrist’s take that I've read says memory gaps are usually caused by severe trauma, but none of my family or friends from that time remembers anything unusual happening during those years.
Anyways, while we were talking about all this, Kaylee suddenly straightened up and frowned. It was like a switch was flicked, but she suggested I go see her aunt. She said her aunt was a “Oneironaut”, whatever that means, and that she might be able to help me recover my memories through some kind of *ritual*.
I laughed because I honestly thought she was messing with me, but Kaylee didn't crack a smile. Instead, she reached across the table and grabbed my hand, telling me she'd been worried about me for a while and that my memory loss wasn't normal for me. She even said she was starting to worry about my mental state, something about noticing cracks. I was completely caught off guard by this. I’ve known Kaylee for years, and I'd never seen her act like that before. I pulled my hand away but Kaylee’s expression didn’t change.
In a panic, I made up some excuse about needing to get home, and left as fast as I could. When I got in the car, I checked my phone and saw she'd already sent me a text. It was just a phone number and the words,
"For when you need her."
That entire experience really shook me up for a few weeks after but I eventually started to forget about it. Kaylee and I didn’t really speak which was fine by me honestly as her behavior was scary as hell. I confided in my boyfriend, Mark, who agreed that the entire thing was bizarre but it was best to just let it go, so I did. About a month went by and nothing out of the ordinary occurred.
Then the dreams started.
The first one didn't seem like a big deal. I woke up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding so hard it felt like it was trying to break through my ribs. I was doubled over, panting loudly. I looked over to see Mark staring at me with wide eyes. Apparently I'd been screaming loud enough to wake him up. He leaned over and held me, asking what I’d had a nightmare about. The weird part was, I couldn't tell him what I'd dreamed about. I knew it had terrified me, I could still feel it sitting in my chest like a panic attack, but the actual dream was already gone. It wasn't like forgetting a normal dream after a few minutes though. I knew there had been something there, something important, but every time I reached for it, I came back empty-handed. It was the exact same feeling I'd had every time I tried to remember those missing years.
After that, it kept happening.
Every few nights I'd wake up gasping for air, drenched in sweat, with Mark trying to calm me down. Every time he'd ask me what I saw, and every time I’d tell him I didn’t know through sobs. All I was left with was that same awful feeling, like something was terribly wrong and I just couldn't remember what it was.
Every few nights eventually became every other night.
Then every night.
I got to the point where I dreaded going to bed. I'd stay up watching TV or scrolling on my phone until I physically couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, hoping I'd be too exhausted to dream. It never worked though no matter how late I stayed up. I'd wake up a few hours later shaking with that familiar crushing feeling.
The lack of sleep started bleeding into everything else. I caught myself making stupid mistakes at work as I struggled to keep my eyes open behind my keyboard. I had to cancel plans with friends because I was too exhausted to pretend I was okay, and when I didn’t I was too groggy to keep up with their conversation. Even Mark started asking if I should see a doctor, but I was too scared. What if they thought I was crazy, what would happen to me then? I could feel myself coming apart. Every night I had to choose between staying awake until sunrise or closing my eyes and facing whatever was waiting for me.
One night, after another dream I couldn't remember, I sat on the edge of my bed staring ahead while Mark slept beside me. The cracks of the wall blurred together until every shadow looked like it was watching me. I felt the bed creak as Mark sat up next to me. He grabbed my hand and said,"Have you talked to Kaylee lately?"
"No."
"...What about her aunt?
I didn’t reply. “You should go see her… Kaylee’s aunt.*"* I frowned at him and wanted to protest against it. I felt like my insanity would be confirmed if I contacted her. However, my exhaustion was getting the better of me so I agreed.
The next day I drove over to Claire's house.
The whole drive there I kept imagining what I was about to walk into. I expected candles everywhere, weird symbols on the walls, bookshelves full of old books, maybe a crystal ball sitting in the middle of the room. Honestly, I was mostly convinced I was about to get scammed out of a couple hundred bucks by some phony psychic but it was kind of hard to care anymore.
I was completely wrong though, Claire's house looked completely normal. Actually, normal isn't even the right word. It was spotless. Every single aspect of it was immaculate. The lawn, the bushes, the paint were all perfect. When she opened the door and invited me inside, it somehow got even cleaner. There wasn’t a speck of dust to be found and the entire house smelled strongly of a lemony cleaner.
Claire smiled when she saw me.
"I'm glad you came."
She led me into the living room where there was this yellow floral couch wrapped in clear plastic. I thought maybe she'd forgotten to take it off after buying it or something until she told me to lie down on it. I obeyed, the plastic crinkled underneath me. Her voice was so clear and calming that it was kind of hard to resist.
"Just try to relax," she said as she sat down across from me.
She then began to ask me questions. Where I grew up. What my parents were like. If I'd ever had any head injuries. Normal stuff. Honestly I began to think she was just some sort of unconventional therapist. Eventually she asked me why I'd come to see her.
"I can't remember part of my childhood."
"The years between eight and eleven?"
I looked up at her with a start, my heart racing.
"...How did you know that?"
She looked confused.
"Kaylee told me."
"Oh."
I felt stupid after that. Of course she would've told her. Claire smiled and began to speak in a rhythmic tone, "I want you to think about the last thing you remember before everything went blank."
I closed my eyes.
"I was lying on the couch."
"What couch?"
"The one in our living room."
"What were you doing?"
"Watching TV."
"And then?"
I frowned.
"I don't know."
"Try."
"I am."
"No. Don't think about it. Remember it."
I frowned even deeper.
“That’s the same thing.”
I don't really know how to explain what happened next. One second I was laying on Claire's couch. The next, I wasn't. When I opened my eyes, I was sitting on the old couch from my childhood house. I knew it was my house, but it didn't feel real. Everything was fuzzy around the edges, almost like I wasn't actually seeing it but remembering it. The TV was on, but I couldn't tell what was playing. The colors all blurred together whenever I tried to focus on them.
I tried lifting my arms but I couldn’t. My muscles felt locked in place. Then I heard someone outside, at least... I think it was outside(?) It was hard to tell where the voice was coming from but they called my name.
"Come play."
Before I could even think about it, my body stood up on its own. I remember trying to stop myself, but it was like I wasn't really in control anymore.I walked toward the front door and reached for the handle. The second my hand touched it, I opened my eyes. I was back in Claire's living room.
I shot upright so fast I almost fell off the couch. My whole body was shaking. I couldn't catch my breath, and for a few seconds I genuinely couldn't tell which room was real. Claire was just sitting there watching me.
"What was that?" I asked.
She didn’t react. Instead she asked, "Did you open the door?"
"I... I don't know."
She sighed and gestured for me to lay back down but I jumped up quickly and began to gather my things.
"I think I should go."
"If you leave now, the dreams aren't going to stop."
"I don't care."
"You will."
I didn't even answer. I practically ran out of the house.
That happened about two weeks ago today and I still have those awful dreams every night. However they’ve changed. I’ve started to remember flashes of color, familiar voices, but none of it has fallen into place yet.
One thing is for certain though the nightmares show no sign of stopping and I’m just at a loss for what to do. I’ve never felt anything as strange as that sensation before, it felt like I was immersed in a world that wasn’t real. However, what if she’s the answer to getting rid of these dreams? All I want is my normal life back. I guess that’s why I’m writing here to ask for help. What should I do?
#entertainment
source
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