19 M , anxiety has basically taken my life **19M, I don’t…
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19 M , anxiety has basically taken my life
**19M, I don’t really know what happened to me, but the last 3 years have been getting worse**
I’m 19 and I don’t really know what happened to me, but the last 3 years have been getting worse.
I’ve always been a bright student — 95% in Matric, 90% in FSC, and now studying at a top-tier university. But during my FSC, I constantly thought I had some serious disease and was going to die soon. Brain tumour, heart attack, diabetes, etc. I even got an ECG at 17 because I saw some symptoms on Google and convinced myself I was going to die within an hour if I didn’t get treatment.
Then university started and the worries just changed. I spent my first year thinking I’d never get a job because my campus wasn’t good enough. Small arguments or situations also become huge in my head. Once I had a small argument with a friend and started thinking he might get his father involved, affect my father’s job, or even hurt/kill me. I knew it sounded completely extreme, but I still couldn’t stop feeling scared.
Even recently, I had a completely normal conversation with a property dealer about possession of a plot. Later I started replaying everything I had said and worrying that maybe I said something wrong and he could cancel my plot. I’ve also sent an email twice and then spent hours worrying that the person might cancel my admission because of it. Then my mind goes into a whole chain of “what ifs” — admission cancelled, money lost, time wasted, what will I tell my parents, etc. — even when there’s basically no evidence for any of it.
Sometimes I end up apologizing or saying sorry repeatedly, and the other person is confused about why I’m even apologizing.
I constantly overthink, panic when making decisions, and sometimes ask people the same thing 2-3 times just to make sure. I don’t sleep peacefully because my mind is always running.
The worrying changes every day. One day it’s about university, another day it’s about a conversation, another day something completely different. The previous worry disappears and gets replaced by another one. It’s been like this for years.
The scary part is that when something even slightly stressful happens, my thoughts can go to some really dark places. Even getting 3/10 on a quiz once triggered an extremely disturbing thought that scared me.
People around me can tell I’m always thinking about something. I feel like I’ve completely lost my ability to think normally under stress.
Last time I remember living like a normal person was around 3 years ago, before my second year of FSC. I genuinely don’t know what the hell happened after that.
I’m only 19 and I really don’t want to spend my life like this.
Has anyone experienced something similar? What did it turn out to be, and what actually helped you?
#current_events #local
source
**19M, I don’t really know what happened to me, but the last 3 years have been getting worse**
I’m 19 and I don’t really know what happened to me, but the last 3 years have been getting worse.
I’ve always been a bright student — 95% in Matric, 90% in FSC, and now studying at a top-tier university. But during my FSC, I constantly thought I had some serious disease and was going to die soon. Brain tumour, heart attack, diabetes, etc. I even got an ECG at 17 because I saw some symptoms on Google and convinced myself I was going to die within an hour if I didn’t get treatment.
Then university started and the worries just changed. I spent my first year thinking I’d never get a job because my campus wasn’t good enough. Small arguments or situations also become huge in my head. Once I had a small argument with a friend and started thinking he might get his father involved, affect my father’s job, or even hurt/kill me. I knew it sounded completely extreme, but I still couldn’t stop feeling scared.
Even recently, I had a completely normal conversation with a property dealer about possession of a plot. Later I started replaying everything I had said and worrying that maybe I said something wrong and he could cancel my plot. I’ve also sent an email twice and then spent hours worrying that the person might cancel my admission because of it. Then my mind goes into a whole chain of “what ifs” — admission cancelled, money lost, time wasted, what will I tell my parents, etc. — even when there’s basically no evidence for any of it.
Sometimes I end up apologizing or saying sorry repeatedly, and the other person is confused about why I’m even apologizing.
I constantly overthink, panic when making decisions, and sometimes ask people the same thing 2-3 times just to make sure. I don’t sleep peacefully because my mind is always running.
The worrying changes every day. One day it’s about university, another day it’s about a conversation, another day something completely different. The previous worry disappears and gets replaced by another one. It’s been like this for years.
The scary part is that when something even slightly stressful happens, my thoughts can go to some really dark places. Even getting 3/10 on a quiz once triggered an extremely disturbing thought that scared me.
People around me can tell I’m always thinking about something. I feel like I’ve completely lost my ability to think normally under stress.
Last time I remember living like a normal person was around 3 years ago, before my second year of FSC. I genuinely don’t know what the hell happened after that.
I’m only 19 and I really don’t want to spend my life like this.
Has anyone experienced something similar? What did it turn out to be, and what actually helped you?
#current_events #local
source
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