When I first watched Dead Poets Society at 10, I hated the ending. I hated Neil's character and how easily he gave up on his dream and on life itself. I thought it was a failure of imagination. Succumbing to death rather than fighting his parents, seeking comfort from his friends, or even running away. Anything, for the sake of just trying.
But five years later, at 15, do I really understand? I don't think there is any character I see my reflection in more.
His tragedy isn't that he doesn't love life or acting. It's kind of the opposite. He loves something deeply in a world that has convinced him that loving it is unacceptable.
Sometimes there truly is nothing left to do. We can pretend things took place differently. In another life, his parents understood. His friends helped him. He decided to wait just a little longer. But the story will continue to end the same.
We always only hear "to speak or to die," as if it's one or the other. But for him, it was both.