Advice- help! Hi! I’m an ally and I have a very close…
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Advice- help!
Hi! I’m an ally and I have a very close friend who’s in a scary position. I thought this would be the best place to seek advice.
My friend Tom (29M) is gay and has been out of the closet since high school. He’s never had a boyfriend but he routinely seeks connection with men who identify as straight but are secretly gay. Last year, Tom met this guy, Mike (26M), who was on Grindr but vehemently declares he is NOT gay. Tom and Mike started seeing eachother and engaging in sexual activity but mostly when Tom was in drag. As time went on, and they continued to see eachother, they would be intimate even when Tom was not in drag.
Over the last year, Tom and Mike have been dating. They do not say they are dating, because Mike is “NOT GAY” and also a homophobe and red pill maga type. Mike is also mentally unwell with BPD. Tom has been candid with me about their relationship and seems very aware of how toxic it is. Tom “broke up” with Mike a few weeks ago but then got back together within a few days. They’re now ~~dating~~ “not” dating again. They spend every day together, they have sleepover every night, they’re sexually intimate.
Tom has not spoken to me in over a month. Nothing happened, last time we talked he was telling me that they broke up. He was supposed to come visit me but stopped responding to texts. Toms sibling reached out to me the other day because Tom has been more and more absent and completely enmeshed with Mike.
It is obvious to me and Tom’s family that this is a toxic relationship. I’m not sure what to do or how to help, or if I can help?? Does anyone have advice for this scenario?
Pardon the length!
#lifestyle
source
Hi! I’m an ally and I have a very close friend who’s in a scary position. I thought this would be the best place to seek advice.
My friend Tom (29M) is gay and has been out of the closet since high school. He’s never had a boyfriend but he routinely seeks connection with men who identify as straight but are secretly gay. Last year, Tom met this guy, Mike (26M), who was on Grindr but vehemently declares he is NOT gay. Tom and Mike started seeing eachother and engaging in sexual activity but mostly when Tom was in drag. As time went on, and they continued to see eachother, they would be intimate even when Tom was not in drag.
Over the last year, Tom and Mike have been dating. They do not say they are dating, because Mike is “NOT GAY” and also a homophobe and red pill maga type. Mike is also mentally unwell with BPD. Tom has been candid with me about their relationship and seems very aware of how toxic it is. Tom “broke up” with Mike a few weeks ago but then got back together within a few days. They’re now ~~dating~~ “not” dating again. They spend every day together, they have sleepover every night, they’re sexually intimate.
Tom has not spoken to me in over a month. Nothing happened, last time we talked he was telling me that they broke up. He was supposed to come visit me but stopped responding to texts. Toms sibling reached out to me the other day because Tom has been more and more absent and completely enmeshed with Mike.
It is obvious to me and Tom’s family that this is a toxic relationship. I’m not sure what to do or how to help, or if I can help?? Does anyone have advice for this scenario?
Pardon the length!
#lifestyle
source
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