Living with Chinese in-laws and wanting to move out I’m a…
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Living with Chinese in-laws and wanting to move out
I’m a foreigner living in China with my Chinese husband. Before moving here, we agreed we would live on our own, but stay with his parents temporarily while we found a place to rent.
However, when we arrived it felt like his parents had set everything up for us to stay long-term. My husband says he told them this was temporary, but they don’t seem to accept that.
Living here has been difficult for me. They decide things like what and when everyone eats, and even small things feel controlled. For example, one day I ate lunch later (around 4pm, which is normal where I’m from) and they got upset and said it was bad behavior.
My husband agrees we should move out once he finds a job, but when he mentioned it to his parents they got very angry and acted like it was a terrible thing to do.
Now we’ve secretly been visiting apartments and tomorrow he plans to tell them we will move out. I’m worried they’ll blame me or think I’m influencing him.
They also offered to give us a house that will be ready in two years, and I’m worried they might take that offer back if we decide to rent now.
Is it unreasonable for us to want to live independently after getting married? And what’s the best way to handle this situation without damaging the relationship with his parents?
NOTE: We moved from France. My husband had a job and also I did. We came to China 4 weeks ago, I came with a job on work visa and my husband was looking for a job and now he got it. We are financially independent, that’s why it’s weird to me to be controlled in this way.
#local
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I’m a foreigner living in China with my Chinese husband. Before moving here, we agreed we would live on our own, but stay with his parents temporarily while we found a place to rent.
However, when we arrived it felt like his parents had set everything up for us to stay long-term. My husband says he told them this was temporary, but they don’t seem to accept that.
Living here has been difficult for me. They decide things like what and when everyone eats, and even small things feel controlled. For example, one day I ate lunch later (around 4pm, which is normal where I’m from) and they got upset and said it was bad behavior.
My husband agrees we should move out once he finds a job, but when he mentioned it to his parents they got very angry and acted like it was a terrible thing to do.
Now we’ve secretly been visiting apartments and tomorrow he plans to tell them we will move out. I’m worried they’ll blame me or think I’m influencing him.
They also offered to give us a house that will be ready in two years, and I’m worried they might take that offer back if we decide to rent now.
Is it unreasonable for us to want to live independently after getting married? And what’s the best way to handle this situation without damaging the relationship with his parents?
NOTE: We moved from France. My husband had a job and also I did. We came to China 4 weeks ago, I came with a job on work visa and my husband was looking for a job and now he got it. We are financially independent, that’s why it’s weird to me to be controlled in this way.
#local
source
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