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LPT: The Art of Serving: How to Nail the Job Without Annoying the Customers”

This is the thoughts that I’ve come up from my experience from being a server bartender in my early days.

Being a good server isn’t rocket science, but you wouldn’t know it from the way some people mess it up. It’s not about memorizing the specials or balancing eight plates on one art, it’s about knowing how to read people and not being annoying.

First off, listen. Really listen. If someone says they have a food allergy, don’t just nod while you’re already thinking about the next table. You don’t want to be the reason someone’s night ends with a trip to the ER. And while you’re at it, keep the talking to a minimum. Customers came to eat, not hear your life story. Unless they ask, and even then, keep it under a minute.

Timing is everything. Don’t hover like a nervous parent at prom, but don’t disappear like a deadbeat dad either. If they’re mid-bite, maybe wait to ask how everything tastes. Let them chew first. And read the table, if they’re laughing and relaxed, you can lighten up. If they look like they just survived a funeral, maybe skip the joke about the two-for-one margaritas.

Humor’s a tool, not a weapon. A quick line about the size of the dessert or how the drink could fuel a lawnmower? Great. But if it doesn’t land, just smile and back away. Don’t double down, that’s how you end up on Yelp. And when you ask questions, make them count. “How’s the food?” is lazy. Try, “Was the steak cooked how you like it?” or “Would you like another round?” It makes people feel like you actually care, even if you don’t.

And watch the body language. If they’re closing their menus and making eye contact, they’re ready to order. If they’re scrolling on their phones, they’re either not ready or avoiding each other. Either way, don’t push it.

Bottom line? Make them feel taken care of without making them feel suffocated. If they leave full and not annoyed, you’ve done your job. And if they tip well? That’s just gravy.

Keep in mind if you are down voting this? You might not have what it takes to be a server?
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