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Got rejected on 1st meeting: kind of confused but overall okay with the situation.
TLDR: post 1st meeting rejection just has me in my feels a bit more than usual. Rejection happens to us all. My heads still thinking about it a little bit. No hard feelings. It’s better she was upfront about it. Their is no villain here just a regular life experience.
Recently got turned down to pursue our 1st official date after a fun 1st live show meeting we were able to have. Like the title says I’m pretty okay about the situation but I won’t lie it did suck a little. She was actually one of the 1st to have me thinking of myself as a husband. For context marriage isn’t high on my list but my family is full of healthy examples. So I’m not anti marriage. I arranged with her approval for her to join me at a live show in my city. I had 2 friends already coming. We had a blast. The show was Rocky horror picture show if you’re familiar with it. I wasn’t in full date mode because she needed time to bond with me and do some life stuff. I do find myself overthinking my actions, but after a rejection is respectfully communicated it’s best to let it go. I have had some trouble doing that. It happened yesterday tho. It’s still a little fresh on my mind. I hold no frustration towards her. She had her reasons which I don’t fully understand but I appreciate her being up upfront about. I’m really only posting because this is the closest I’ve gotten to meeting someone I saw myself as a husband too. Which I admit was very nice to experience that. Somewhere along the way I did something she was not a fan of. Thinking back she felt off and distant to me at the car park entrance. She definitely knew then. We live and learn so I’ll get back out there and try again.
#relationships
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TLDR: post 1st meeting rejection just has me in my feels a bit more than usual. Rejection happens to us all. My heads still thinking about it a little bit. No hard feelings. It’s better she was upfront about it. Their is no villain here just a regular life experience.
Recently got turned down to pursue our 1st official date after a fun 1st live show meeting we were able to have. Like the title says I’m pretty okay about the situation but I won’t lie it did suck a little. She was actually one of the 1st to have me thinking of myself as a husband. For context marriage isn’t high on my list but my family is full of healthy examples. So I’m not anti marriage. I arranged with her approval for her to join me at a live show in my city. I had 2 friends already coming. We had a blast. The show was Rocky horror picture show if you’re familiar with it. I wasn’t in full date mode because she needed time to bond with me and do some life stuff. I do find myself overthinking my actions, but after a rejection is respectfully communicated it’s best to let it go. I have had some trouble doing that. It happened yesterday tho. It’s still a little fresh on my mind. I hold no frustration towards her. She had her reasons which I don’t fully understand but I appreciate her being up upfront about. I’m really only posting because this is the closest I’ve gotten to meeting someone I saw myself as a husband too. Which I admit was very nice to experience that. Somewhere along the way I did something she was not a fan of. Thinking back she felt off and distant to me at the car park entrance. She definitely knew then. We live and learn so I’ll get back out there and try again.
#relationships
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I’m starting to think I’m the reason my relationships don’t work out.
I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why dating has been so difficult for me, and lately I’m starting to realize that maybe I’m part of the problem.
I carry a lot of emotional baggage and trauma from a past relationship, more than I think I’ve ever really admitted to myself. I thought I had moved on, but I’m realizing that some of those wounds never actually healed.
The hardest part is that I can meet someone genuinely wonderful, someone who treats me well and gives me no real reason to doubt them, and somehow I still find a way to sabotage it. I let my insecurities, fears, and past experiences influence how I react to things in the present.
And sometimes, by the time I realize what I’ve done, the damage is already there.
It’s heartbreaking to think that I could lose someone who might have been genuinely good for me, not because we weren’t compatible, but because I couldn’t get out of my own way.
I don’t want to keep hurting people or pushing away the very connections I’ve spent so long hoping to find.
Has anyone else realized that unresolved trauma from a past relationship was affecting their ability to build something healthy with someone new? How did you finally start breaking that cycle?
#relationships
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I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why dating has been so difficult for me, and lately I’m starting to realize that maybe I’m part of the problem.
I carry a lot of emotional baggage and trauma from a past relationship, more than I think I’ve ever really admitted to myself. I thought I had moved on, but I’m realizing that some of those wounds never actually healed.
The hardest part is that I can meet someone genuinely wonderful, someone who treats me well and gives me no real reason to doubt them, and somehow I still find a way to sabotage it. I let my insecurities, fears, and past experiences influence how I react to things in the present.
And sometimes, by the time I realize what I’ve done, the damage is already there.
It’s heartbreaking to think that I could lose someone who might have been genuinely good for me, not because we weren’t compatible, but because I couldn’t get out of my own way.
I don’t want to keep hurting people or pushing away the very connections I’ve spent so long hoping to find.
Has anyone else realized that unresolved trauma from a past relationship was affecting their ability to build something healthy with someone new? How did you finally start breaking that cycle?
#relationships
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I'm nearing 40 and finding a wife and kids seems hopeless
I only started dating at 35 years old. Before that I had crippling social anxiety that I didn't cope with by gaming all the time. Then I went to therapy and quit online gaming. And started dating on dating apps. However it feels there that although I've had countless dates that the women there are adversely selected: people capable of a serious relationship are not on the apps and all the terrible avoidants or just outright cruel people are flooding the apps. After almost 3 years of mostly misery I'm fearing I will never find a serious relationship (best I've managed is 4 months of dating) and I will not experience the joy of being a dad. This makes me incredibly sad, and between the few scheduled dates I have I spend my time wasting on internet, single player games and p0rn. The dates I do have are cozy but rarely lead to second dates or if they do there is nothing past about 3 dates.
#relationships
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I only started dating at 35 years old. Before that I had crippling social anxiety that I didn't cope with by gaming all the time. Then I went to therapy and quit online gaming. And started dating on dating apps. However it feels there that although I've had countless dates that the women there are adversely selected: people capable of a serious relationship are not on the apps and all the terrible avoidants or just outright cruel people are flooding the apps. After almost 3 years of mostly misery I'm fearing I will never find a serious relationship (best I've managed is 4 months of dating) and I will not experience the joy of being a dad. This makes me incredibly sad, and between the few scheduled dates I have I spend my time wasting on internet, single player games and p0rn. The dates I do have are cozy but rarely lead to second dates or if they do there is nothing past about 3 dates.
#relationships
source