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Relationship too centered around sex
Last week, I asked the guy I've been seeing if he wanted to go have a drink somewhere and watch Thursday night football. He was down and then texted that we could leave the bar around 9 and go drive somewhere to have sex in his truck. I didn't respond right away so he texted back a little later that he was kidding and he is excited to just see me and watch the game together. Then as we're leaving, he asks me to come to his truck for a minute. We kiss a little and then ask if we can do more. I told him not tonight. It feels like every time we make plans to do some activity outside of hanging out at one of our places, he always throws us having sex somewhere in there. I'm getting to the point where I don't even want to start asking to go out and do stuff because it feels like he still expects sex. Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy having sex as well, but I don't need it to be my whole life or relationship. I know I need to have a talk with him about it, but I just needed somewhere to vent to first.
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Last week, I asked the guy I've been seeing if he wanted to go have a drink somewhere and watch Thursday night football. He was down and then texted that we could leave the bar around 9 and go drive somewhere to have sex in his truck. I didn't respond right away so he texted back a little later that he was kidding and he is excited to just see me and watch the game together. Then as we're leaving, he asks me to come to his truck for a minute. We kiss a little and then ask if we can do more. I told him not tonight. It feels like every time we make plans to do some activity outside of hanging out at one of our places, he always throws us having sex somewhere in there. I'm getting to the point where I don't even want to start asking to go out and do stuff because it feels like he still expects sex. Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy having sex as well, but I don't need it to be my whole life or relationship. I know I need to have a talk with him about it, but I just needed somewhere to vent to first.
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Figuring It Out
I (34)F and a (28)M have been on three dates and have talked regularly on the phone for the past three weeks because he lives far away. The third date took a turn, he is 5’8 and I’m 5’7 and I decided to wear mini heels for a date he organized at a nice restaurant. ( I’m grateful.) However, he made a comment about me not wearing heels because of the height it made me….Plus, we were watching a movie and there was a scene of men not having shirts on and told me not to look… orange flag or is this a red flag ladies? Trying to figure out if this is wild behavior that I need to pay attention to or give it a chance. My instincts are not liking it to be honest but he is a nice guy and that’s where I’m floundering.
Update: I ended it. I appreciate everyone's perspectives. 9/16
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I (34)F and a (28)M have been on three dates and have talked regularly on the phone for the past three weeks because he lives far away. The third date took a turn, he is 5’8 and I’m 5’7 and I decided to wear mini heels for a date he organized at a nice restaurant. ( I’m grateful.) However, he made a comment about me not wearing heels because of the height it made me….Plus, we were watching a movie and there was a scene of men not having shirts on and told me not to look… orange flag or is this a red flag ladies? Trying to figure out if this is wild behavior that I need to pay attention to or give it a chance. My instincts are not liking it to be honest but he is a nice guy and that’s where I’m floundering.
Update: I ended it. I appreciate everyone's perspectives. 9/16
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Don’t go on a date and telling the person about all of your trauma or anything you suffered in the past . That person is essentially a stranger and you don’t know if you can trust them
The best advice my grandmother ever gave me is no matter how nice someone appears you still don’t know the real them until time passes . That person you’re going on a date with does not love you yet. They are not in love with you so they are not gonna handle your trauma like someone who is already deeply devoted and in love with you. When you deem that person trustworthy you can open up about that part of your life
#relationships
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The best advice my grandmother ever gave me is no matter how nice someone appears you still don’t know the real them until time passes . That person you’re going on a date with does not love you yet. They are not in love with you so they are not gonna handle your trauma like someone who is already deeply devoted and in love with you. When you deem that person trustworthy you can open up about that part of your life
#relationships
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