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Help with my social anxiety
I was so scared of judgment that i put on the "chill guy" persona. I can be chill, but i'm usually not, i'm talkative with the right ppll, and also, not to brag, but also extremely funny, it's a gift i'm happy I have coz seeing others smile just makes me feel happy, genuinely. But since I moved to Canada, since GRADE 9, i can count how many ppl i've made friends with that know the real me to some extent; 2. One of them blocked me coz i think he's also dealing with his own demons, and the other one last spoke to me when i moved to a new province just to see how i was settling in, i know, not a bad thing, but i've not had a single friend I can just randomly hey and start saying whatever i wanna say unfiltered, it still feels like i'm putting on a mask.
Now I moved to a new province, new school, a fresh start, another opportunity, GRADE 11, and about a month in, the same problems again, the "chill guy" persona, the guy that doesn't really talk but can if u wanna small talk. But now it's just killing me, I have no one to talk to, I have older siblings at home with me all day, but i just cant tell them. I just need some connection, i want everyone to see the real me, the unfiltered funny, kind, respectful person I am. and i've been trying so hard to make new friends here but everytime i wanna just start some small talk, i'm just so scared, i'm so so scared i don't even know why, then i see other kids in class, making jokes with the class i thought of 10 secs ago, watching them dap everyone around them up and i'm just sitting there, looking. I'm just exhausted, And I also thought i knew how to make convo but I guess I dont coz i mostly play games, watch a few movies and series here and there, so when i start talking to someone and ask if they watch one thing or play, and they say nah, i'm just standing there, looking......not to mention I realized a week ago that I might actually have ADHD and just wanna talk to someone about it before thinking about telling my family to get me officially diagnosed. I've even been dressing more "out there", i wear a lot of just black on black on black everything normally, plain black, but I've shifted to black with text with some white sprinkled in, i know, wowwww, but point is i've been trying, genuinely, but it's like i'm just stuck in a cage of eternal loneliness screaming out but no one outside the cage hears me. I'm tired. How do I make friends more easily?
#relationships
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I was so scared of judgment that i put on the "chill guy" persona. I can be chill, but i'm usually not, i'm talkative with the right ppll, and also, not to brag, but also extremely funny, it's a gift i'm happy I have coz seeing others smile just makes me feel happy, genuinely. But since I moved to Canada, since GRADE 9, i can count how many ppl i've made friends with that know the real me to some extent; 2. One of them blocked me coz i think he's also dealing with his own demons, and the other one last spoke to me when i moved to a new province just to see how i was settling in, i know, not a bad thing, but i've not had a single friend I can just randomly hey and start saying whatever i wanna say unfiltered, it still feels like i'm putting on a mask.
Now I moved to a new province, new school, a fresh start, another opportunity, GRADE 11, and about a month in, the same problems again, the "chill guy" persona, the guy that doesn't really talk but can if u wanna small talk. But now it's just killing me, I have no one to talk to, I have older siblings at home with me all day, but i just cant tell them. I just need some connection, i want everyone to see the real me, the unfiltered funny, kind, respectful person I am. and i've been trying so hard to make new friends here but everytime i wanna just start some small talk, i'm just so scared, i'm so so scared i don't even know why, then i see other kids in class, making jokes with the class i thought of 10 secs ago, watching them dap everyone around them up and i'm just sitting there, looking. I'm just exhausted, And I also thought i knew how to make convo but I guess I dont coz i mostly play games, watch a few movies and series here and there, so when i start talking to someone and ask if they watch one thing or play, and they say nah, i'm just standing there, looking......not to mention I realized a week ago that I might actually have ADHD and just wanna talk to someone about it before thinking about telling my family to get me officially diagnosed. I've even been dressing more "out there", i wear a lot of just black on black on black everything normally, plain black, but I've shifted to black with text with some white sprinkled in, i know, wowwww, but point is i've been trying, genuinely, but it's like i'm just stuck in a cage of eternal loneliness screaming out but no one outside the cage hears me. I'm tired. How do I make friends more easily?
#relationships
source
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If someone asks, "How are you?", how do you respond in a way that leaves the answer ambiguous, but also doesn't raise suspicion for your wellbeing or make you sound pessimistic?
If I answer, "I'm fine" or "I'm doing fine", this makes it sound like I'm having a rough time.
Same with "I'm doing alright" or "I'm doing ok".
Recently I've been answering "I'm doing well". It feels like a more modest way of saying "I'm good'. But it still doesn't feel honest or authentic. I'm not doing that well.
Any ideas?
#relationships
If I answer, "I'm fine" or "I'm doing fine", this makes it sound like I'm having a rough time.
Same with "I'm doing alright" or "I'm doing ok".
Recently I've been answering "I'm doing well". It feels like a more modest way of saying "I'm good'. But it still doesn't feel honest or authentic. I'm not doing that well.
Any ideas?
#relationships
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Why do you have social anxiety?
I’m really curious to hear from others why they think they have social anxiety. For me, I’m pretty sure it’s because I had to mask from a young age that I was fine even though I was not. At some point my body and brain couldn’t keep up with the mask/act anymore, hence the anxiety attacks.
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I’m really curious to hear from others why they think they have social anxiety. For me, I’m pretty sure it’s because I had to mask from a young age that I was fine even though I was not. At some point my body and brain couldn’t keep up with the mask/act anymore, hence the anxiety attacks.
#relationships
source