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Genuinely dont know what else to do
26M here. My entire life I've struggled with making connections and forming relationships. I'm a nontraditional student and currently a sophomore in college, and I've really been trying to make a change. I've been working on becoming more confident in myself, embracing my interests, improving my social skills, and putting myself out there more. I've gotten pretty good at initiating conversations, and I have no problem talking to strangers at bars, meeting people, or striking up conversations on campus. The problem is that at the end of the day, I'm always by myself. I can have a great conversation with someone, get their Instagram or number, and then nothing ever comes of it. I feel like I'm constantly the one initiating, and nobody ever seems interested in getting to know me beyond that first interaction. For Halloween, I even went all out with a costume that took a lot of courage for me to wear publicly. I felt amazing that night, but afterward, even my coworkers barely acknowledged it unless I brought it up. I know nobody owes me compliments or attention, but it hurt because it felt like yet another time I'd put myself out there only to feel invisible. I'm genuinely exhausted. I don't want to become withdrawn or stop sharing who I am with people, but I'm starting to wonder what the point is when none of my efforts seem to lead to meaningful connections. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you go from being someone who could talk to people easily to actually having people who wanted to spend time with you? I'm tired of always being the one making the effort, and I genuinely don't know what else to try.
#relationships
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26M here. My entire life I've struggled with making connections and forming relationships. I'm a nontraditional student and currently a sophomore in college, and I've really been trying to make a change. I've been working on becoming more confident in myself, embracing my interests, improving my social skills, and putting myself out there more. I've gotten pretty good at initiating conversations, and I have no problem talking to strangers at bars, meeting people, or striking up conversations on campus. The problem is that at the end of the day, I'm always by myself. I can have a great conversation with someone, get their Instagram or number, and then nothing ever comes of it. I feel like I'm constantly the one initiating, and nobody ever seems interested in getting to know me beyond that first interaction. For Halloween, I even went all out with a costume that took a lot of courage for me to wear publicly. I felt amazing that night, but afterward, even my coworkers barely acknowledged it unless I brought it up. I know nobody owes me compliments or attention, but it hurt because it felt like yet another time I'd put myself out there only to feel invisible. I'm genuinely exhausted. I don't want to become withdrawn or stop sharing who I am with people, but I'm starting to wonder what the point is when none of my efforts seem to lead to meaningful connections. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you go from being someone who could talk to people easily to actually having people who wanted to spend time with you? I'm tired of always being the one making the effort, and I genuinely don't know what else to try.
#relationships
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How do you develop actual friendships from acquaintances?
As the title suggests, I am awful at making friends. I (23F) don’t really have many, and the ones I do have are more close acquaintances/very casual friends than people I consider myself genuinely close with.
The thing is, I am okay socially. People describe me as seeming confident, people describe me as being approachable and reasonably chatty, and that I come across as friendly and nice when interacting with people. People are surprised when I tell them I was painfully shy and borderline selectively mute growing up. I would say at work, while I’m not SUPER popular and well-loved, I am not unpopular either. I don’t really have issues with getting along with people. However I am TERRIBLE at building actual friendships. I don’t know why. I don’t know how. It feels like a mystery to me that I am excluded from. Basically, I’m asking how do you develop actual friendships from acquaintances?
#relationships
As the title suggests, I am awful at making friends. I (23F) don’t really have many, and the ones I do have are more close acquaintances/very casual friends than people I consider myself genuinely close with.
The thing is, I am okay socially. People describe me as seeming confident, people describe me as being approachable and reasonably chatty, and that I come across as friendly and nice when interacting with people. People are surprised when I tell them I was painfully shy and borderline selectively mute growing up. I would say at work, while I’m not SUPER popular and well-loved, I am not unpopular either. I don’t really have issues with getting along with people. However I am TERRIBLE at building actual friendships. I don’t know why. I don’t know how. It feels like a mystery to me that I am excluded from. Basically, I’m asking how do you develop actual friendships from acquaintances?
#relationships
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How do I talk to my friends?
Hi all, first time posting so I'm not sure if this is the right place for it, but we're going to have a go anyway!
So I sometimes really struggle to talk to my friends. One friend in particular that I keep convincing myself doesn't like me or want to talk to me, all because there's this little voice in my brain that tells me "she's annoyed with you" or "she won't want to talk to you", so I struggle to come up with things to say to her without thinking she won't just want to end the friendship straight away. It's more tricky because we work together and sit across from each other at our desks, so sometimes we just sit in silence while I try to think of things to say that won't make her think I'm weird or stupid. She's never given me a reason to think she's got a problem with me, so I'm not sure why I keep telling myself that she won't like me. I'm good at listening when she talks to me, and can be engaging when she talks to me, but it's just so hard to bring something up naturally and commence the conversation.
Is there a way to make me better at organic conversation? I just want to be able to talk to her like anybody else.
Any advice is appreciated, thank you!
#relationships
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Hi all, first time posting so I'm not sure if this is the right place for it, but we're going to have a go anyway!
So I sometimes really struggle to talk to my friends. One friend in particular that I keep convincing myself doesn't like me or want to talk to me, all because there's this little voice in my brain that tells me "she's annoyed with you" or "she won't want to talk to you", so I struggle to come up with things to say to her without thinking she won't just want to end the friendship straight away. It's more tricky because we work together and sit across from each other at our desks, so sometimes we just sit in silence while I try to think of things to say that won't make her think I'm weird or stupid. She's never given me a reason to think she's got a problem with me, so I'm not sure why I keep telling myself that she won't like me. I'm good at listening when she talks to me, and can be engaging when she talks to me, but it's just so hard to bring something up naturally and commence the conversation.
Is there a way to make me better at organic conversation? I just want to be able to talk to her like anybody else.
Any advice is appreciated, thank you!
#relationships
source
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