0 reactions
Assertiveness, step 2: how to deal with the negative reactions?
The first step, being asserive and standing up for myself is generally not a problem for me. It's the next phase that I fear and have difficulty in handling: the reaction. People give another reaction when you are no (longer) a pushover. I get overwhelmed by their reaction and regret not have accepted the situation as it was, because it feels like things spiral downwards due to my assertiveness.
How to stop being so anxious? How to deal with their nagativity and stand you ground with grace and full believe in youself?
#relationships
source
The first step, being asserive and standing up for myself is generally not a problem for me. It's the next phase that I fear and have difficulty in handling: the reaction. People give another reaction when you are no (longer) a pushover. I get overwhelmed by their reaction and regret not have accepted the situation as it was, because it feels like things spiral downwards due to my assertiveness.
How to stop being so anxious? How to deal with their nagativity and stand you ground with grace and full believe in youself?
#relationships
source
0 reactions
How do I stop feeling so different from others?
My social skills have dramatically improved over the past 10 years, and even more this year since I started meeting a lot more people, making new friends, and going out more. However, I still feel a block between me and other people. I want to connect, relax, and be able to be fully present and myself. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t. Even when I felt I did well socially, it doesn’t lead to a friendship. I’m learning my expectations can put a lot of pressure on myself, and that I don’t need to try so hard.
At 28, it still feels like I’m trying on different personalities. I still experience a conflict between wanting to fit in and being “myself” (still figuring that out surprisingly). But what’s been bothering me lately is that I look at my friends/acquaintances and a lot of them seem to have fulfilling friendships with people similar to them.
I have friends that are super Christian and don’t even cuss. I tend to withhold my real humor with them and censor myself. I find myself wanting more energy from them too. I have friends I drink and party with. I feel more open and free with them, but we have some differing values and our friendships feel shallow sometimes. I have friends in between, and who I’ve felt the most myself with but they’re flakey as hell lmao
I notice I have different personalities depending on who I’m hanging out with and it kinda feels existentially disorienting lol so I’ve been working on consolidating my different identities into a more consistent one regardless of the environment I’m in. I’m just not sure if I’ll ever find friends that feel like home. Different people get different parts of me, but I desire to have friends who fully get me and who I can fully be myself with. Is that unrealistic?
Why do I feel a block between me and others? Am I doing something wrong? Do I just need to keep meeting more people and hope I find mine?
#relationships
source
My social skills have dramatically improved over the past 10 years, and even more this year since I started meeting a lot more people, making new friends, and going out more. However, I still feel a block between me and other people. I want to connect, relax, and be able to be fully present and myself. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t. Even when I felt I did well socially, it doesn’t lead to a friendship. I’m learning my expectations can put a lot of pressure on myself, and that I don’t need to try so hard.
At 28, it still feels like I’m trying on different personalities. I still experience a conflict between wanting to fit in and being “myself” (still figuring that out surprisingly). But what’s been bothering me lately is that I look at my friends/acquaintances and a lot of them seem to have fulfilling friendships with people similar to them.
I have friends that are super Christian and don’t even cuss. I tend to withhold my real humor with them and censor myself. I find myself wanting more energy from them too. I have friends I drink and party with. I feel more open and free with them, but we have some differing values and our friendships feel shallow sometimes. I have friends in between, and who I’ve felt the most myself with but they’re flakey as hell lmao
I notice I have different personalities depending on who I’m hanging out with and it kinda feels existentially disorienting lol so I’ve been working on consolidating my different identities into a more consistent one regardless of the environment I’m in. I’m just not sure if I’ll ever find friends that feel like home. Different people get different parts of me, but I desire to have friends who fully get me and who I can fully be myself with. Is that unrealistic?
Why do I feel a block between me and others? Am I doing something wrong? Do I just need to keep meeting more people and hope I find mine?
#relationships
source
0 reactions
What do you believe is the difference between appearing strong and truly being strong?
The strongest people are often carrying the heaviest burdens.
One lesson I have learned through years of coaching is that many men become experts at wearing emotional armor.
They show up.
They work hard.
They provide.
They lead.
They protect.
From the outside, they appear steady and confident.
What most people never see are the doubts, disappointments, fears, and pressures they quietly carry every day.
The armor serves a purpose. It helps people endure difficult seasons and fulfill important responsibilities.
But armor was never meant to be worn forever.
If it never comes off, it can slowly become a barrier that keeps others from understanding who you really are.
That is one of the reasons I wrote What Men Want.
This book is not about encouraging men to abandon strength. It is about redefining it.
Real strength is not pretending you have no struggles.
Real strength is having the wisdom to know when to carry the weight alone and when to trust the right people enough to let them walk beside you.
When understanding replaces assumptions, relationships become stronger.
Conversations become deeper.
People become closer.
That is the message I hope readers take from this book.
📚 What Men Want: Understanding the Heart Behind the Armor
Available now:
https://a.co/d/03B56xfP
#Leadership #Purpose #Relationships #Strength #EmotionalIntelligence
The strongest people are often carrying the heaviest burdens.
One lesson I have learned through years of coaching is that many men become experts at wearing emotional armor.
They show up.
They work hard.
They provide.
They lead.
They protect.
From the outside, they appear steady and confident.
What most people never see are the doubts, disappointments, fears, and pressures they quietly carry every day.
The armor serves a purpose. It helps people endure difficult seasons and fulfill important responsibilities.
But armor was never meant to be worn forever.
If it never comes off, it can slowly become a barrier that keeps others from understanding who you really are.
That is one of the reasons I wrote What Men Want.
This book is not about encouraging men to abandon strength. It is about redefining it.
Real strength is not pretending you have no struggles.
Real strength is having the wisdom to know when to carry the weight alone and when to trust the right people enough to let them walk beside you.
When understanding replaces assumptions, relationships become stronger.
Conversations become deeper.
People become closer.
That is the message I hope readers take from this book.
📚 What Men Want: Understanding the Heart Behind the Armor
Available now:
https://a.co/d/03B56xfP
#Leadership #Purpose #Relationships #Strength #EmotionalIntelligence
0 reactions
Have you ever suspected that you recieved poor job training because the person training you didn't like you?
This could happen to anyone, but it could definitely happen to someone who struggles with social sills. Being disliked isn't uncommon, but it seems the average person is able to put on a show for a short duration of time to at least somewhat endear themselves to the person training them.
#relationships
This could happen to anyone, but it could definitely happen to someone who struggles with social sills. Being disliked isn't uncommon, but it seems the average person is able to put on a show for a short duration of time to at least somewhat endear themselves to the person training them.
#relationships
0 reactions
Does anyone else find it SO difficult to do anything with their kids?
I’ll preface by saying that we do have pretty well behaved children. So it’s not them. It’s probably me.
Going to the park
Going to the store
Going to the zoo
Going to the beach
Going camping
Going for a bike ride
Going for a picnic
All normal things to do as a family. All things families do ALL THE TIME. And for some reason we just really struggle to do these things without my husband and I getting completely over stimulated and frustrated (mostly at each other).
I don’t really know what I’m trying to get out of this? I usually breathe a huge sigh of relief when I see comments in solidarity. But sometimes I wonder if there’s something I could do better.
Any tips to reduce stress and constant frustration on outings?
Currently typing this at the beach while trying to contain my tears of complete overwhelm.
Edited to add: my kids are 5months and 3yeara
#relationships
source
I’ll preface by saying that we do have pretty well behaved children. So it’s not them. It’s probably me.
Going to the park
Going to the store
Going to the zoo
Going to the beach
Going camping
Going for a bike ride
Going for a picnic
All normal things to do as a family. All things families do ALL THE TIME. And for some reason we just really struggle to do these things without my husband and I getting completely over stimulated and frustrated (mostly at each other).
I don’t really know what I’m trying to get out of this? I usually breathe a huge sigh of relief when I see comments in solidarity. But sometimes I wonder if there’s something I could do better.
Any tips to reduce stress and constant frustration on outings?
Currently typing this at the beach while trying to contain my tears of complete overwhelm.
Edited to add: my kids are 5months and 3yeara
#relationships
source
0 reactions
Confused about relationships
I attend therapy and have noticed something in my friendships. For example, when I don't send a reel to a friend for a day, or we haven't talked to each other for a day or more, I feel like they will think I am angry at them. The opposite is also true: when they don't text me or call me, I feel like they realised something and now hate me. It's like I need to check if the friendship is alive. In the past I've had relationships where, because of a misunderstanding, they ended.
For example, I notice other things as well - when I'm part of a group of friends, and we have different interests, it feels like I'm the problem. I feel like I'm supposed to be interested in their interests. I've noticed that, given the events that have happened in my life, I'm much wiser than my friends, and somehow it feels like they aren't the right crowd for me because they act childishly - but there's no one else my age. For example, if we're at a party where people are drinking, I feel guilty for not drinking; I really don't think it's necessary. I always feel like I'm the only one responsible for the friendship and that the problem lies with me.
Another thing is that I'm afraid to call my friends, even though I want to. The thought that I shouldn't bother them crosses my mind. I feel as if I'm not important, that my desires don't matter. Also, when I see a friend who is out with someone else I feel worried that he will leave me.
I wonder how I end up not doing certain things out of fear of being rejected, and that makes me inauthentic - and maybe that's what's causing my problems. Also, I feel like I search for the perfect company or friend - idealistic. I've been bullied and had toxic relationships, so I think that adds up.
This post is a bit chaotic, sorry, but I'm confused too; I'd love to hear your thoughts. Where is my problem?
#relationships
source
I attend therapy and have noticed something in my friendships. For example, when I don't send a reel to a friend for a day, or we haven't talked to each other for a day or more, I feel like they will think I am angry at them. The opposite is also true: when they don't text me or call me, I feel like they realised something and now hate me. It's like I need to check if the friendship is alive. In the past I've had relationships where, because of a misunderstanding, they ended.
For example, I notice other things as well - when I'm part of a group of friends, and we have different interests, it feels like I'm the problem. I feel like I'm supposed to be interested in their interests. I've noticed that, given the events that have happened in my life, I'm much wiser than my friends, and somehow it feels like they aren't the right crowd for me because they act childishly - but there's no one else my age. For example, if we're at a party where people are drinking, I feel guilty for not drinking; I really don't think it's necessary. I always feel like I'm the only one responsible for the friendship and that the problem lies with me.
Another thing is that I'm afraid to call my friends, even though I want to. The thought that I shouldn't bother them crosses my mind. I feel as if I'm not important, that my desires don't matter. Also, when I see a friend who is out with someone else I feel worried that he will leave me.
I wonder how I end up not doing certain things out of fear of being rejected, and that makes me inauthentic - and maybe that's what's causing my problems. Also, I feel like I search for the perfect company or friend - idealistic. I've been bullied and had toxic relationships, so I think that adds up.
This post is a bit chaotic, sorry, but I'm confused too; I'd love to hear your thoughts. Where is my problem?
#relationships
source
0 reactions
What would you describe as someone doing too much while dating?
It just popped in my head a out someone I was recently talking to and I was wondering is there something as doing too much? If so, Im curious what it is for others? In rererring of course to the talking stage of dating someone. I always hear on here about people not doing enough, so here is the opposite.
#relationships
source
It just popped in my head a out someone I was recently talking to and I was wondering is there something as doing too much? If so, Im curious what it is for others? In rererring of course to the talking stage of dating someone. I always hear on here about people not doing enough, so here is the opposite.
#relationships
source
0 reactions
Overcoming my clinginess
Hello! To preface this, I (19M) typically only have close friendships with women, because I find they typically have a higher emotional intelligence. A few years ago, I had a friendship that was very close to me, but it was incredibly toxic. I was always walking on eggshells, and overthinking about whether or not she was mad at me during every interaction, because she more often than not was mad at everyone. After breaking things off with her, I’ve come to realize that I’ve started to apply these anxieties and worries towards ALL of my close female friendships.
Over the past year, I’ve been going through a cycle of gaining a new friend, becoming close to her, then beginning to overthink all of her actions, thinking that every little thing she does (such as forgetting to reply to a text) means she’s mad at me. This causes me to text her several times in a short timeframe, asking what I did wrong, apologizing, etc. Then, she says something along the lines of, “It feels like I have to walk on eggshells around you, you rely too much on me.” Then, she blocks me on everything. This has happened with 2-3 girls in the past year. What’s wrong with me? I’ve been feeling like a creep because I’m making women uncomfortable. How can I overcome my overthinking and anxiety towards my close friendships in the future? Have I been a creep towards these women?
#relationships
source
Hello! To preface this, I (19M) typically only have close friendships with women, because I find they typically have a higher emotional intelligence. A few years ago, I had a friendship that was very close to me, but it was incredibly toxic. I was always walking on eggshells, and overthinking about whether or not she was mad at me during every interaction, because she more often than not was mad at everyone. After breaking things off with her, I’ve come to realize that I’ve started to apply these anxieties and worries towards ALL of my close female friendships.
Over the past year, I’ve been going through a cycle of gaining a new friend, becoming close to her, then beginning to overthink all of her actions, thinking that every little thing she does (such as forgetting to reply to a text) means she’s mad at me. This causes me to text her several times in a short timeframe, asking what I did wrong, apologizing, etc. Then, she says something along the lines of, “It feels like I have to walk on eggshells around you, you rely too much on me.” Then, she blocks me on everything. This has happened with 2-3 girls in the past year. What’s wrong with me? I’ve been feeling like a creep because I’m making women uncomfortable. How can I overcome my overthinking and anxiety towards my close friendships in the future? Have I been a creep towards these women?
#relationships
source
0 reactions
Why did I write What Men Want?
That question has been asked several times since the book was released.
The answer is actually very simple.
It did not come from one conversation or one experience.
It came from years of listening.
For more than a decade, I have had the privilege of coaching men from every stage of life. I have listened to husbands, fathers, executives, athletes, business owners, and young men searching for direction. Although every story was different, I kept hearing many of the same silent struggles.
Pressure.
Responsibility.
Fear of failure.
The desire to provide.
The need to appear strong, even when they felt anything but.
At the same time, I met women who sincerely wanted to understand the men they loved. They were searching for connection, honesty, and clarity.
That is when I realized something that would eventually become this book.
The problem is not always a lack of love.
Many times, it is simply a lack of understanding.
That realization stayed with me until I finally knew it had to become a book.
What Men Want is not about taking sides or placing blame.
It is about building bridges through understanding.
My hope is that these pages help people have conversations they may have never had before and strengthen relationships in ways they never thought possible.
If this message resonates with you, I would be honored if you checked out the book.
📚 What Men Want
🔗 https://a.co/d/03B56xfP
I would also love to hear from you.
What is one thing you wish people understood about you without you having to explain it?
#WhatMenWantBook #MBR3Coaching #relationships #leadership #personalgrowth
That question has been asked several times since the book was released.
The answer is actually very simple.
It did not come from one conversation or one experience.
It came from years of listening.
For more than a decade, I have had the privilege of coaching men from every stage of life. I have listened to husbands, fathers, executives, athletes, business owners, and young men searching for direction. Although every story was different, I kept hearing many of the same silent struggles.
Pressure.
Responsibility.
Fear of failure.
The desire to provide.
The need to appear strong, even when they felt anything but.
At the same time, I met women who sincerely wanted to understand the men they loved. They were searching for connection, honesty, and clarity.
That is when I realized something that would eventually become this book.
The problem is not always a lack of love.
Many times, it is simply a lack of understanding.
That realization stayed with me until I finally knew it had to become a book.
What Men Want is not about taking sides or placing blame.
It is about building bridges through understanding.
My hope is that these pages help people have conversations they may have never had before and strengthen relationships in ways they never thought possible.
If this message resonates with you, I would be honored if you checked out the book.
📚 What Men Want
🔗 https://a.co/d/03B56xfP
I would also love to hear from you.
What is one thing you wish people understood about you without you having to explain it?
#WhatMenWantBook #MBR3Coaching #relationships #leadership #personalgrowth
0 reactions
How did you become less shy?
To the people who were shy in their childhood and now they are above their 30-40s and have a fluid way to interact with everybody. How did you do It? What changed? I am 22 and I was really really shy in the school. I am just really shy now.
#relationships
To the people who were shy in their childhood and now they are above their 30-40s and have a fluid way to interact with everybody. How did you do It? What changed? I am 22 and I was really really shy in the school. I am just really shy now.
#relationships