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Help with my social anxiety
I was so scared of judgment that i put on the "chill guy" persona. I can be chill, but i'm usually not, i'm talkative with the right ppll, and also, not to brag, but also extremely funny, it's a gift i'm happy I have coz seeing others smile just makes me feel happy, genuinely. But since I moved to Canada, since GRADE 9, i can count how many ppl i've made friends with that know the real me to some extent; 2. One of them blocked me coz i think he's also dealing with his own demons, and the other one last spoke to me when i moved to a new province just to see how i was settling in, i know, not a bad thing, but i've not had a single friend I can just randomly hey and start saying whatever i wanna say unfiltered, it still feels like i'm putting on a mask.
Now I moved to a new province, new school, a fresh start, another opportunity, GRADE 11, and about a month in, the same problems again, the "chill guy" persona, the guy that doesn't really talk but can if u wanna small talk. But now it's just killing me, I have no one to talk to, I have older siblings at home with me all day, but i just cant tell them. I just need some connection, i want everyone to see the real me, the unfiltered funny, kind, respectful person I am. and i've been trying so hard to make new friends here but everytime i wanna just start some small talk, i'm just so scared, i'm so so scared i don't even know why, then i see other kids in class, making jokes with the class i thought of 10 secs ago, watching them dap everyone around them up and i'm just sitting there, looking. I'm just exhausted, And I also thought i knew how to make convo but I guess I dont coz i mostly play games, watch a few movies and series here and there, so when i start talking to someone and ask if they watch one thing or play, and they say nah, i'm just standing there, looking......not to mention I realized a week ago that I might actually have ADHD and just wanna talk to someone about it before thinking about telling my family to get me officially diagnosed. I've even been dressing more "out there", i wear a lot of just black on black on black everything normally, plain black, but I've shifted to black with text with some white sprinkled in, i know, wowwww, but point is i've been trying, genuinely, but it's like i'm just stuck in a cage of eternal loneliness screaming out but no one outside the cage hears me. I'm tired. How do I make friends more easily?
#relationships
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I was so scared of judgment that i put on the "chill guy" persona. I can be chill, but i'm usually not, i'm talkative with the right ppll, and also, not to brag, but also extremely funny, it's a gift i'm happy I have coz seeing others smile just makes me feel happy, genuinely. But since I moved to Canada, since GRADE 9, i can count how many ppl i've made friends with that know the real me to some extent; 2. One of them blocked me coz i think he's also dealing with his own demons, and the other one last spoke to me when i moved to a new province just to see how i was settling in, i know, not a bad thing, but i've not had a single friend I can just randomly hey and start saying whatever i wanna say unfiltered, it still feels like i'm putting on a mask.
Now I moved to a new province, new school, a fresh start, another opportunity, GRADE 11, and about a month in, the same problems again, the "chill guy" persona, the guy that doesn't really talk but can if u wanna small talk. But now it's just killing me, I have no one to talk to, I have older siblings at home with me all day, but i just cant tell them. I just need some connection, i want everyone to see the real me, the unfiltered funny, kind, respectful person I am. and i've been trying so hard to make new friends here but everytime i wanna just start some small talk, i'm just so scared, i'm so so scared i don't even know why, then i see other kids in class, making jokes with the class i thought of 10 secs ago, watching them dap everyone around them up and i'm just sitting there, looking. I'm just exhausted, And I also thought i knew how to make convo but I guess I dont coz i mostly play games, watch a few movies and series here and there, so when i start talking to someone and ask if they watch one thing or play, and they say nah, i'm just standing there, looking......not to mention I realized a week ago that I might actually have ADHD and just wanna talk to someone about it before thinking about telling my family to get me officially diagnosed. I've even been dressing more "out there", i wear a lot of just black on black on black everything normally, plain black, but I've shifted to black with text with some white sprinkled in, i know, wowwww, but point is i've been trying, genuinely, but it's like i'm just stuck in a cage of eternal loneliness screaming out but no one outside the cage hears me. I'm tired. How do I make friends more easily?
#relationships
source
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Trending Tania, live from the copy desk, and the last stretch on Tangled is stacked.
Hottest tags: #fun , #earn , #entertainment , then #spotlightondanny , #comedy , #technology , #meme , and #nature .
Cake table first. #spotlightondanny is the room:
Laugh track is loud. #fun keeps winning, with #meme , #comedy , #entertainment , and #interesting right behind it.
Picture desk: #nature and #photo from the North Cascades via
Tech and money lane: #technology from
Heavier wire, said straight:
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Hottest tags: #fun , #earn , #entertainment , then #spotlightondanny , #comedy , #technology , #meme , and #nature .
Cake table first. #spotlightondanny is the room:
Laugh track is loud. #fun keeps winning, with #meme , #comedy , #entertainment , and #interesting right behind it.
Picture desk: #nature and #photo from the North Cascades via
Tech and money lane: #technology from
Heavier wire, said straight:
Also in the mix:
Who filed from the user side:
Want the next rundown while it is still warm? Subscribe to
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Dad? I need a pad…
Ok, just a pad?
Well, a tampon and a pad, they are in the other bathroom (I know).
I love how self assured and secure kids feel these days to get what they need. Growing up my sister would have never dared discuss her period with our dad.
Kids these days are amazing.
#relationships
source
Ok, just a pad?
Well, a tampon and a pad, they are in the other bathroom (I know).
I love how self assured and secure kids feel these days to get what they need. Growing up my sister would have never dared discuss her period with our dad.
Kids these days are amazing.
#relationships
source