I am often extremely irritable and aggressive without…
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I am often extremely irritable and aggressive without wanting to be so, I have no idea why and I want to stop.
I'm not quite sure this is the exact community to post this in, but it's not about any mental illness or disorders as far as I know, so I'll try.
I'm a teenager who has had anger issues since as far back as I can remember. While my mom and brother have both in part suffered of the same, it is evident that I am the worst offender. I am usually polite and quiet, but it takes nothing for me to lose my shit. I raise my voice or straight-up scream at the slightest misunderstanding and build up a big fight over what was originally just a dumb mistake, on my part or the other person's. I am easily annoyed and frequently take corrections as attacks. I've been often described as weirdly aggressive and my best friend tells me I'm a spiteful and irritable person who charges head-first with stones in my hand at him and others when I'm in a bad mood.
I know this is all my fault, and I don't want to be like this, but as much as I try to reflect *why* am I that way, I just don't know. I know it is partially poor communication on my behalf and other people picking up hostile behaviour when there was none intended. I believe in this respect at least I have improved somewhat with time, and I haven't recently received any complaints from other people on that.
But what is much worse is simply how little patience I have. What's curious is this doesn't happen much around random people. Sometimes it occurs with my brother, more often with my best friend, but most of all I lose my shit with my mother very frequently. Me raising my voice in misunderstandings, sneering in contempt when she makes mistakes, all that seems like a natural reaction in the moment, like flinching away from a punch, if that makes sense. It's just a part of me by now. I always regret it immediately afterwards, but at this point I've apologized so many times my regret isn't worth anything at all.
Again, I'm not very frequently like this around most people, mostly just my mother and my best friend. They annoy me like no other person does and I have no idea why. And I don't want it to be that way. My mother always makes so much effort and always offers herself so nicely, and my best friend is a great and patient friend. They have their flaws, but I love them. I don't want to be like this. I worry if my new friends are going to one day see this side of me and how they're going to react.
How could I start on the way to improvement?
#relationships
source
I'm not quite sure this is the exact community to post this in, but it's not about any mental illness or disorders as far as I know, so I'll try.
I'm a teenager who has had anger issues since as far back as I can remember. While my mom and brother have both in part suffered of the same, it is evident that I am the worst offender. I am usually polite and quiet, but it takes nothing for me to lose my shit. I raise my voice or straight-up scream at the slightest misunderstanding and build up a big fight over what was originally just a dumb mistake, on my part or the other person's. I am easily annoyed and frequently take corrections as attacks. I've been often described as weirdly aggressive and my best friend tells me I'm a spiteful and irritable person who charges head-first with stones in my hand at him and others when I'm in a bad mood.
I know this is all my fault, and I don't want to be like this, but as much as I try to reflect *why* am I that way, I just don't know. I know it is partially poor communication on my behalf and other people picking up hostile behaviour when there was none intended. I believe in this respect at least I have improved somewhat with time, and I haven't recently received any complaints from other people on that.
But what is much worse is simply how little patience I have. What's curious is this doesn't happen much around random people. Sometimes it occurs with my brother, more often with my best friend, but most of all I lose my shit with my mother very frequently. Me raising my voice in misunderstandings, sneering in contempt when she makes mistakes, all that seems like a natural reaction in the moment, like flinching away from a punch, if that makes sense. It's just a part of me by now. I always regret it immediately afterwards, but at this point I've apologized so many times my regret isn't worth anything at all.
Again, I'm not very frequently like this around most people, mostly just my mother and my best friend. They annoy me like no other person does and I have no idea why. And I don't want it to be that way. My mother always makes so much effort and always offers herself so nicely, and my best friend is a great and patient friend. They have their flaws, but I love them. I don't want to be like this. I worry if my new friends are going to one day see this side of me and how they're going to react.
How could I start on the way to improvement?
#relationships
source
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