My post got deleted for AI. I wrote this again in my…
0 reactions
My post got deleted for AI. I wrote this again in my broken English.
My last post got removed by mods because they said it was AI.
I am writing this again. This time I wrote everything in my broken English on my phone. So please forgive my bad English. These are my real words.
I am 22 years old. I live in a village in Pakistan.
My family is very very religious. If they find out I don't believe in God, they will kill me. I am not joking. I heard my grandfather say with his own mouth that Kaafirs (non muslims) should be killed. He said it is the law.
I hate my life.
I hate my beard. I am forced to keep it. If I shave, everyone asks questions. They call me bad Muslim. So I keep it. I look in the mirror and I don't know who that person is.
I hate the religious cap. I wear it every day outside. It makes me so irritated. I want to throw it away. But I can't.
I do prayer five times a day. But I don't believe. I just do it because I am scared. If I miss prayer, someone drags me to mosque. They make me stand in line. They watch me. I bow down and I feel nothing. Just empty. Sometimes I want to scream when my forehead is on the ground. But I stay quiet.
I fast in Ramadan. I don't eat or drink all day. I hate it. I don't believe in it. But if I don't fast, they will know something is wrong with me. So I suffer.
My father left us when I was small. He just left. He never sent money. He never called. I was in hospital many times as a child. I was sick a lot. He never came. Not once. He never asked about me. He didn't care about us. I hate him. I hate him so much it burns inside me.
My grandfather ruined my life. He forced me to madrassa instead of school. I spent hours memorizing Arabic words I didn't understand. When I asked questions, he hit me. He told me to shut up. He said education is kufr. He said science is poison. He stopped me from learning. He took my future. I hate him. I will never ever forgive him.
My mother is the only good person in my life. She took me to hospitals. She stayed awake with me. She fought for my school. She gave me food when she was hungry herself. I love her so much. But I cannot tell her the truth. She will be heartbroken. Or she might have to choose between me and family. I am too scared to find out what she would choose.
I am so depressed. I am losing my hair. I am only 22 and my hair is falling out. I am becoming skinny. I don't eat much. Food doesn't taste like anything. I just stare at the wall. I can't sleep at night. I just lie awake thinking and thinking.
My parents are forcing me to get married. To another strict religious family. I don't want to marry. If I have children, I will ruin their lives. I will force them to pray and fast. I will force them to memorize verses. I will trap them in this same cage. I would rather die than do that to my child. But I cannot refuse. If I refuse, they will ask why. And I cannot tell them why.
I read books that changed me. I read Something from Nothing. I read God is Not Great. I watch Alex O'Connor. These things opened my eyes. But I cannot tell anyone. If anyone knew I read these, they would kill me.
Someone said: "You believe in a book with talking animals and demons and magic sticks... and you say we need help?" That is how I feel.
Ricky Gervais said: "We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for." I have everything to live for. I want to study. I want to travel. I want freedom. But I am trapped in this village.
I am just surviving. Not living. I am so tired.
I wrote this myself in my language and translated it. I am not AI. I am just a guy who cannot tell anyone the truth. Please believe me. I just wanted someone to know before I disappear. And I spent hours, on that previous post. It had so many details, because I wrote all of that in my local Language and used Ai for translation. But it got removed.
#religion
source
My last post got removed by mods because they said it was AI.
I am writing this again. This time I wrote everything in my broken English on my phone. So please forgive my bad English. These are my real words.
I am 22 years old. I live in a village in Pakistan.
My family is very very religious. If they find out I don't believe in God, they will kill me. I am not joking. I heard my grandfather say with his own mouth that Kaafirs (non muslims) should be killed. He said it is the law.
I hate my life.
I hate my beard. I am forced to keep it. If I shave, everyone asks questions. They call me bad Muslim. So I keep it. I look in the mirror and I don't know who that person is.
I hate the religious cap. I wear it every day outside. It makes me so irritated. I want to throw it away. But I can't.
I do prayer five times a day. But I don't believe. I just do it because I am scared. If I miss prayer, someone drags me to mosque. They make me stand in line. They watch me. I bow down and I feel nothing. Just empty. Sometimes I want to scream when my forehead is on the ground. But I stay quiet.
I fast in Ramadan. I don't eat or drink all day. I hate it. I don't believe in it. But if I don't fast, they will know something is wrong with me. So I suffer.
My father left us when I was small. He just left. He never sent money. He never called. I was in hospital many times as a child. I was sick a lot. He never came. Not once. He never asked about me. He didn't care about us. I hate him. I hate him so much it burns inside me.
My grandfather ruined my life. He forced me to madrassa instead of school. I spent hours memorizing Arabic words I didn't understand. When I asked questions, he hit me. He told me to shut up. He said education is kufr. He said science is poison. He stopped me from learning. He took my future. I hate him. I will never ever forgive him.
My mother is the only good person in my life. She took me to hospitals. She stayed awake with me. She fought for my school. She gave me food when she was hungry herself. I love her so much. But I cannot tell her the truth. She will be heartbroken. Or she might have to choose between me and family. I am too scared to find out what she would choose.
I am so depressed. I am losing my hair. I am only 22 and my hair is falling out. I am becoming skinny. I don't eat much. Food doesn't taste like anything. I just stare at the wall. I can't sleep at night. I just lie awake thinking and thinking.
My parents are forcing me to get married. To another strict religious family. I don't want to marry. If I have children, I will ruin their lives. I will force them to pray and fast. I will force them to memorize verses. I will trap them in this same cage. I would rather die than do that to my child. But I cannot refuse. If I refuse, they will ask why. And I cannot tell them why.
I read books that changed me. I read Something from Nothing. I read God is Not Great. I watch Alex O'Connor. These things opened my eyes. But I cannot tell anyone. If anyone knew I read these, they would kill me.
Someone said: "You believe in a book with talking animals and demons and magic sticks... and you say we need help?" That is how I feel.
Ricky Gervais said: "We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for." I have everything to live for. I want to study. I want to travel. I want freedom. But I am trapped in this village.
I am just surviving. Not living. I am so tired.
I wrote this myself in my language and translated it. I am not AI. I am just a guy who cannot tell anyone the truth. Please believe me. I just wanted someone to know before I disappear. And I spent hours, on that previous post. It had so many details, because I wrote all of that in my local Language and used Ai for translation. But it got removed.
#religion
source
| 0 mlx | |
| 0 | |
| 0 |