i am chronically online and feel like i am not equipped…
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i am chronically online and feel like i am not equipped well for social life.
whenever i talk to people in real life, i dont think i am better than them, i am more so "in" the experience itself that inside my brain or thoughts, so i dont think before i speak so the problem is that i tend to get REALLY forward with people i barely know, like laugh and make nonsensical jokes or get opinionated when they say something instead of shrugging it off. i often feel like people have masks on or know a secret societal rule that i dont.
it doesnt help that i cant speak nor understand both my mother tongue and english that well.
finally as for my ego, i am super egotistical (i hope i am using the right word) online. when i share something about myself and get a negative reception for it (it could be indirectly or directly) i start feeling like crying because of how much a loser i am. i am a people pleaser, if i use someone's services or lets say for example at someone's house i will treat the person with respect even if i dont agree with their views. i will try to abide by the rules and i hate how that makes me feel like i am vulnerable for bad actors but i digress.
and frankly, i dont like myself as i am (as i listed)
is there a way to fix that?
#relationships
source
whenever i talk to people in real life, i dont think i am better than them, i am more so "in" the experience itself that inside my brain or thoughts, so i dont think before i speak so the problem is that i tend to get REALLY forward with people i barely know, like laugh and make nonsensical jokes or get opinionated when they say something instead of shrugging it off. i often feel like people have masks on or know a secret societal rule that i dont.
it doesnt help that i cant speak nor understand both my mother tongue and english that well.
finally as for my ego, i am super egotistical (i hope i am using the right word) online. when i share something about myself and get a negative reception for it (it could be indirectly or directly) i start feeling like crying because of how much a loser i am. i am a people pleaser, if i use someone's services or lets say for example at someone's house i will treat the person with respect even if i dont agree with their views. i will try to abide by the rules and i hate how that makes me feel like i am vulnerable for bad actors but i digress.
and frankly, i dont like myself as i am (as i listed)
is there a way to fix that?
#relationships
source
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