How to not take being excluded personal? Hi guys. 27 y/o…
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How to not take being excluded personal?
Hi guys. 27 y/o woman here. I’ve struggled with feeling excluded my whole life. I just never seem to fit in. As a kid, I would nearly kiss ass to fit in. Bend over backwards to be liked/acknowledged. I’m sure you can imagine the pain that caused men. I’ve been deeply hurt by women more than me. Despite that , I still deeply crave those close girl relationships. Due to my past experiences, I’m very hyper vigilant. Any sense of exclusion/rejection… you don’t have to worry about me any more. I’m sure that creates some sort of self fulfilling prophecy, I perceive I’m not very liked/rejected so I draw in further… causing ppl to think that I’m intimidating/unapproachable due to my energy (I’ve been told I’m intimidating from women at my job).
I’m a nurse. At work, some of my coworkers will outwardly discuss the plans they have together outside of work, discuss the group chat they’re in (I.e. “Sarah (random name) text back in the group chat” or mention something that was only discussed in the chat). I try to tune it out, but it hurts. Idk if I’m over reacting or caring too much, but that little girl who was left out constantly is still within me. I just feel like it’s a time and place, you know? Like read the room?
Anyway, I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong to validate the exclusion. I’ve self analyzed to no end. My question is, how can I stop caring when I’m being excluded? How do you not internalize the exclusion?
#relationships
source
Hi guys. 27 y/o woman here. I’ve struggled with feeling excluded my whole life. I just never seem to fit in. As a kid, I would nearly kiss ass to fit in. Bend over backwards to be liked/acknowledged. I’m sure you can imagine the pain that caused men. I’ve been deeply hurt by women more than me. Despite that , I still deeply crave those close girl relationships. Due to my past experiences, I’m very hyper vigilant. Any sense of exclusion/rejection… you don’t have to worry about me any more. I’m sure that creates some sort of self fulfilling prophecy, I perceive I’m not very liked/rejected so I draw in further… causing ppl to think that I’m intimidating/unapproachable due to my energy (I’ve been told I’m intimidating from women at my job).
I’m a nurse. At work, some of my coworkers will outwardly discuss the plans they have together outside of work, discuss the group chat they’re in (I.e. “Sarah (random name) text back in the group chat” or mention something that was only discussed in the chat). I try to tune it out, but it hurts. Idk if I’m over reacting or caring too much, but that little girl who was left out constantly is still within me. I just feel like it’s a time and place, you know? Like read the room?
Anyway, I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong to validate the exclusion. I’ve self analyzed to no end. My question is, how can I stop caring when I’m being excluded? How do you not internalize the exclusion?
#relationships
source
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