40F and still no luck in dating I'm a 40F and have never…
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40F and still no luck in dating
I'm a 40F and have never been in an LTR. I've dated short-term on and off for 15 years either online or IRL and most of the time the guys I liked didn't like me back. It was very rare that a guy would like me.
And I am now convinced I'm going to wind up without a partner. Just today I had coffee with a good friend who's around my age. And she told me she's pregnant (she and her husband have been trying for some time). And while I'm very happy for her, I came home and for some reason started balling. Like wow, everyone I know is married or has hit a major milestone in their life or in their career. And I'm 40 and wtf do I have to show for it?
My other friend who married someone 12 years younger than her, told me anything's possible and that there's someone for everyone. I don't feel convinced. I'm back in school getting a PhD in music and am busy writing a dissertation. Most of my peers in their 40s have already released several albums, and I'm only just starting to release my debut one now. Also most of my peers are partnered or married.
Funny part I've noticed in dating, is that hardly any men I see online are intrigued by me, or my niche interests (e.g. birding, drawing). They also probably think "musician = slacker" but I'm writing a dissertation and already teach higher ed at the university level. They want high powered, highly paid women like lawyers, doctors, etc.. Not me. I get zero matches.
I do see a therapist and talk to her about this stuff. She has also told me essentially "there's a lid for every pot." But no one ever tells you how hard it is to find that damn lid. This year I'm trying something different in that I'm joining more social outlets like a run club and next week will start taking an adult beginning drawing class. At the very least I hope to meet some acquaintances and maybe make a friend or two.
So I wonder, does it get any better after 40? Or am I going to just be left in the dust?
#relationships
source
I'm a 40F and have never been in an LTR. I've dated short-term on and off for 15 years either online or IRL and most of the time the guys I liked didn't like me back. It was very rare that a guy would like me.
And I am now convinced I'm going to wind up without a partner. Just today I had coffee with a good friend who's around my age. And she told me she's pregnant (she and her husband have been trying for some time). And while I'm very happy for her, I came home and for some reason started balling. Like wow, everyone I know is married or has hit a major milestone in their life or in their career. And I'm 40 and wtf do I have to show for it?
My other friend who married someone 12 years younger than her, told me anything's possible and that there's someone for everyone. I don't feel convinced. I'm back in school getting a PhD in music and am busy writing a dissertation. Most of my peers in their 40s have already released several albums, and I'm only just starting to release my debut one now. Also most of my peers are partnered or married.
Funny part I've noticed in dating, is that hardly any men I see online are intrigued by me, or my niche interests (e.g. birding, drawing). They also probably think "musician = slacker" but I'm writing a dissertation and already teach higher ed at the university level. They want high powered, highly paid women like lawyers, doctors, etc.. Not me. I get zero matches.
I do see a therapist and talk to her about this stuff. She has also told me essentially "there's a lid for every pot." But no one ever tells you how hard it is to find that damn lid. This year I'm trying something different in that I'm joining more social outlets like a run club and next week will start taking an adult beginning drawing class. At the very least I hope to meet some acquaintances and maybe make a friend or two.
So I wonder, does it get any better after 40? Or am I going to just be left in the dust?
#relationships
source
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