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Women in the trades: how do you deal with constant low-level sexual harassment? And men, I'd genuinely like your perspective too.
I'm the only woman on my site, and I really enjoy the job itself.
I'm not talking about extreme harassment, but the constant low-level behaviour: colleagues repeatedly asking you out after you've said no, lingering handshakes, pet names, comments that remind you you're seen as a woman first and a coworker second (if that).
This week was especially frustrating. I made the biggest progress on the job out of the whole team, but that wasn't acknowledged. Instead, after work, a colleague cornered me to ask why I keep saying no to going out with him. I am so angry with myself because I started explaining how difficult it is to be the only woman on site and how dumb it would be of me to go out with anyone from work, because I was scared of hurting this guy's feelings so I wouldn't have to deal with a bruised ego after. On top of it, I keep sharing my feelings because in a way I continue having expectations that maybe some men will try to put themselves in my position but sadly the more honest I am the more likely guys think I like them.
How do you handle this? Have you found ways to set boundaries that actually work while maintaining good working relationships?
Why is it so difficult for some men to see a female coworker as just another coworker? Is it something they don't even realise they're doing, or is there another perspective I'm missing? Is there something wrong I am doing that somehow sends the wrong signals?
#industry
source
I'm the only woman on my site, and I really enjoy the job itself.
I'm not talking about extreme harassment, but the constant low-level behaviour: colleagues repeatedly asking you out after you've said no, lingering handshakes, pet names, comments that remind you you're seen as a woman first and a coworker second (if that).
This week was especially frustrating. I made the biggest progress on the job out of the whole team, but that wasn't acknowledged. Instead, after work, a colleague cornered me to ask why I keep saying no to going out with him. I am so angry with myself because I started explaining how difficult it is to be the only woman on site and how dumb it would be of me to go out with anyone from work, because I was scared of hurting this guy's feelings so I wouldn't have to deal with a bruised ego after. On top of it, I keep sharing my feelings because in a way I continue having expectations that maybe some men will try to put themselves in my position but sadly the more honest I am the more likely guys think I like them.
How do you handle this? Have you found ways to set boundaries that actually work while maintaining good working relationships?
Why is it so difficult for some men to see a female coworker as just another coworker? Is it something they don't even realise they're doing, or is there another perspective I'm missing? Is there something wrong I am doing that somehow sends the wrong signals?
#industry
source
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