I honestly don't know what to do ask a doctor, sheikh? I…
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I honestly don't know what to do ask a doctor, sheikh? I need advice on how to get around life.
Apologies in advance if my writing is messy.
I don’t know where to start, and I also don’t know who to ask for help—whether it should be a doctor, a sheikh, or someone else.
For years, I’ve been trying to understand myself. I don’t know whether it’s me who is wrong and I should just shut up and listen, or whether it’s the environment instead. I’ve been stressing about my tests this summer because I need a higher score to get into a good university. But my parents have been pushing me in a different way that makes everything—including the test—look ten times worse. Even starting to practice and learn has been hard, because it makes it feel like I’m so late for something. For instance, they make it sound like I can ace the SAT/ACT in a few days. There’s also another issue: I get compared to other people my age who have already married and have kids.
Even after I try to respect them, I still get called out for “not listening.” And when I try to share things or ask my parents for help, it usually backfires. What I say gets used against me right after.
I’ve also tried to tell them that I might have ADHD, but I was accused of trying to get pity or making excuses. On top of that, whenever I tell the truth, I’m treated like I’m lying—and the only way to stop the argument is to say “wallahi.” I have stopped arguing and just listening, but I do snap when its too much.
Now I think it might be burnout and not Adhd, but I still don’t know, because I’ve felt manipulated and gaslit most of the time. Like I tell them what I want to do and that I’ll do it, but sometimes I don’t even tell them in advance. Then I get told that I shouldn’t do it. Later, I get yelled at for not doing it, and I’m told I should have.
Basically, starting things has become hard for me, and my life has become very messy and stressful. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m burned out. I don’t know if Allah is testing me this much, or if I’m sinning and repenting and that's why there is problems, but i do and have been trying to stay away. I don’t know if Shaytan is getting in my way too much, or if it’s simply me—I’m so wrong that I’m not seeing it clearly. I’ve been asking Allah for help, since everything has become not interesting for me.
Over the years, the stress has grown a lot, with pressure from my parents, school, and my own self who wants everything to be perfect. Now that I’ve graduated high school, I feel stuck—either because I don’t have the willpower to take the test and go to university, or because I’m actually lazy and I don’t want to do anything, and I don’t have discipline. But every time I try to start something, it feels like I get gaslit, or like I’m reminded of what I did wrong in a way that makes things worse.
On top of that, I’ve been spaced out from my prayers this summer, and I’ve been trying to get back. But even waking up early has become hard for me. Some people might say I should pray with another person, like family members, so they can support me. But right now, I want to actually like praying and love it—not be forced or yelled at every time I do something wrong. I’d be okay if someone is trying to fix something, but being constantly corrected—even after I try to fix it—has become really annoying and exhausting.
But basically I just don't know what to do, I just want to sometimes disappear into thin air, and sometimes I used to wish that Allah would just take me since I am so exhausted- I don't feel that of a harming myself-.
How do i get out of this situation? How do i finally start my prayers? How to start my prep for tests with determination? How do i know if i am that disrespectful to my surroundings?
Thank you in advance
#religion
source
Apologies in advance if my writing is messy.
I don’t know where to start, and I also don’t know who to ask for help—whether it should be a doctor, a sheikh, or someone else.
For years, I’ve been trying to understand myself. I don’t know whether it’s me who is wrong and I should just shut up and listen, or whether it’s the environment instead. I’ve been stressing about my tests this summer because I need a higher score to get into a good university. But my parents have been pushing me in a different way that makes everything—including the test—look ten times worse. Even starting to practice and learn has been hard, because it makes it feel like I’m so late for something. For instance, they make it sound like I can ace the SAT/ACT in a few days. There’s also another issue: I get compared to other people my age who have already married and have kids.
Even after I try to respect them, I still get called out for “not listening.” And when I try to share things or ask my parents for help, it usually backfires. What I say gets used against me right after.
I’ve also tried to tell them that I might have ADHD, but I was accused of trying to get pity or making excuses. On top of that, whenever I tell the truth, I’m treated like I’m lying—and the only way to stop the argument is to say “wallahi.” I have stopped arguing and just listening, but I do snap when its too much.
Now I think it might be burnout and not Adhd, but I still don’t know, because I’ve felt manipulated and gaslit most of the time. Like I tell them what I want to do and that I’ll do it, but sometimes I don’t even tell them in advance. Then I get told that I shouldn’t do it. Later, I get yelled at for not doing it, and I’m told I should have.
Basically, starting things has become hard for me, and my life has become very messy and stressful. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m burned out. I don’t know if Allah is testing me this much, or if I’m sinning and repenting and that's why there is problems, but i do and have been trying to stay away. I don’t know if Shaytan is getting in my way too much, or if it’s simply me—I’m so wrong that I’m not seeing it clearly. I’ve been asking Allah for help, since everything has become not interesting for me.
Over the years, the stress has grown a lot, with pressure from my parents, school, and my own self who wants everything to be perfect. Now that I’ve graduated high school, I feel stuck—either because I don’t have the willpower to take the test and go to university, or because I’m actually lazy and I don’t want to do anything, and I don’t have discipline. But every time I try to start something, it feels like I get gaslit, or like I’m reminded of what I did wrong in a way that makes things worse.
On top of that, I’ve been spaced out from my prayers this summer, and I’ve been trying to get back. But even waking up early has become hard for me. Some people might say I should pray with another person, like family members, so they can support me. But right now, I want to actually like praying and love it—not be forced or yelled at every time I do something wrong. I’d be okay if someone is trying to fix something, but being constantly corrected—even after I try to fix it—has become really annoying and exhausting.
But basically I just don't know what to do, I just want to sometimes disappear into thin air, and sometimes I used to wish that Allah would just take me since I am so exhausted- I don't feel that of a harming myself-.
How do i get out of this situation? How do i finally start my prayers? How to start my prep for tests with determination? How do i know if i am that disrespectful to my surroundings?
Thank you in advance
#religion
source
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