unwritten social rules/skills in university and feeling…
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unwritten social rules/skills in university and feeling terrible behind!
This all started because I really felt that people in uni made me feel invisible, irrelevant and unheard half the time. I genuinely feel like everyone else got handed some secret rule book on how to socially establish themselves in university and I somehow missed the email.
I attended university **twice** and I’m in my mid 20s (25). Both times I completely failed at understanding the social rules there. I’m late diagnosed neurodivergent too, but honestly I you can’t even tell from me.
Everything moves so fucking quickly. Before you even know what’s happening everyone already has their core group, their gang, their people and I’m just left behind trying to catch up socially and academically at the same time.
I also feel like this is maybe be why I don’t fully connect with my “friends” either. Like I’m always just a background friend instead of someone people genuinely value or think about first. I'm easily ignored, left behind and just completely forgotten
People imho don't talk about how they sign up and join clubs like photography, sports, dance or whatever and I’m just sitting there like when did we all collectively agree to start doing this? I’m already extremely overwhelmed just trying to survive classes.
And somehow people are ALSO becoming tutors, organizing events, networking, teaching, running clubs, making connections, building experience and I’m like when the fuck did everyone learn to not only do this but also manage it???
I'm well aware of being neurodivergent and a little slow on top of that but I can't help feeling frustrated. My neurodivergent peers (I'm in engineering) also do pretty well so I can't really blame it on that either.
To summerize I feel like keeping up with social life and events alone feels like a part time job. And I'm extremely frustrated. I'm not connecting with anyone, I keep losing contact and I havent build a single geniune friendship in all of those years.... wtf I'm a doing wrong. Is this a energy/timemangement problem and how do I fix it
I feel like everyone knows exactly who to talk to, how to network, how to establish themselves while I’m clueless asf.
What genuinely confuses me is how the majority of my peers (university students) seem so well adapted to university life. They manage friendships, events, exams, opportunities and somehow still function normally.
Meanwhile I quite literally failed everything including classes and making friends.
I feel like university is THE place to find and make your life long friends and I haven't and I'm slowly starting to become nervous about this. How do I fix my situation? Can anyone relate, give tips etc!
#relationships
source
This all started because I really felt that people in uni made me feel invisible, irrelevant and unheard half the time. I genuinely feel like everyone else got handed some secret rule book on how to socially establish themselves in university and I somehow missed the email.
I attended university **twice** and I’m in my mid 20s (25). Both times I completely failed at understanding the social rules there. I’m late diagnosed neurodivergent too, but honestly I you can’t even tell from me.
Everything moves so fucking quickly. Before you even know what’s happening everyone already has their core group, their gang, their people and I’m just left behind trying to catch up socially and academically at the same time.
I also feel like this is maybe be why I don’t fully connect with my “friends” either. Like I’m always just a background friend instead of someone people genuinely value or think about first. I'm easily ignored, left behind and just completely forgotten
People imho don't talk about how they sign up and join clubs like photography, sports, dance or whatever and I’m just sitting there like when did we all collectively agree to start doing this? I’m already extremely overwhelmed just trying to survive classes.
And somehow people are ALSO becoming tutors, organizing events, networking, teaching, running clubs, making connections, building experience and I’m like when the fuck did everyone learn to not only do this but also manage it???
I'm well aware of being neurodivergent and a little slow on top of that but I can't help feeling frustrated. My neurodivergent peers (I'm in engineering) also do pretty well so I can't really blame it on that either.
To summerize I feel like keeping up with social life and events alone feels like a part time job. And I'm extremely frustrated. I'm not connecting with anyone, I keep losing contact and I havent build a single geniune friendship in all of those years.... wtf I'm a doing wrong. Is this a energy/timemangement problem and how do I fix it
I feel like everyone knows exactly who to talk to, how to network, how to establish themselves while I’m clueless asf.
What genuinely confuses me is how the majority of my peers (university students) seem so well adapted to university life. They manage friendships, events, exams, opportunities and somehow still function normally.
Meanwhile I quite literally failed everything including classes and making friends.
I feel like university is THE place to find and make your life long friends and I haven't and I'm slowly starting to become nervous about this. How do I fix my situation? Can anyone relate, give tips etc!
#relationships
source
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