Is it normal for classmates to just…ignore you in grad…
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Is it normal for classmates to just…ignore you in grad school?
I’m in grad school, and we have a pretty small cohort, so we see the same people every day. At this point, everyone definitely knows who everyone is.
Here’s what’s been bothering me: there is, in particular, one classmate who consistently acts like I don’t exist. I’ll say hi to her in the hallway or common areas, and she just straight up ignores me. No eye contact, no acknowledgment, nothing. If I don’t initiate, she never says hi first either.
What’s been bothering me more is that it doesn’t seem random. I’ve noticed she does this not just to me, but also to a few other Asian students in our class. But I don’t want to jump to conclusions or assume intent where I might be wrong, especially since she seems to interact normally with all of the other classmates.
Today was kind of the last straw: another Asian girl and I said hi to a group when we met in the hallway. Two people responded normally, but that person just completely ignored us like we weren’t there. In group settings, she’ll actively engage with others, but if I or the other Asian students speak, she won’t respond or acknowledge it.
I know this might sound immature, like we’re all adults and I shouldn’t care so much about whether someone says hi back. But when it happens repeatedly in a small environment, it starts to feel pretty alienating. (Also, because of the small cohort, the environment sometimes feels more like high school than grad school, with cliques and informal “popular” groups. I’ve noticed that many of the Asian students in my class, including myself, tend to be quieter, so part of me wonders if this is more about social dynamics or perceived status rather than anything else)
I guess I’m wondering: why do people act like this? And how would you deal with it without making things more awkward?
Trying to figure out if I’m overthinking or if this is just something people deal with. Thanks, guys!
#relationships
source
I’m in grad school, and we have a pretty small cohort, so we see the same people every day. At this point, everyone definitely knows who everyone is.
Here’s what’s been bothering me: there is, in particular, one classmate who consistently acts like I don’t exist. I’ll say hi to her in the hallway or common areas, and she just straight up ignores me. No eye contact, no acknowledgment, nothing. If I don’t initiate, she never says hi first either.
What’s been bothering me more is that it doesn’t seem random. I’ve noticed she does this not just to me, but also to a few other Asian students in our class. But I don’t want to jump to conclusions or assume intent where I might be wrong, especially since she seems to interact normally with all of the other classmates.
Today was kind of the last straw: another Asian girl and I said hi to a group when we met in the hallway. Two people responded normally, but that person just completely ignored us like we weren’t there. In group settings, she’ll actively engage with others, but if I or the other Asian students speak, she won’t respond or acknowledge it.
I know this might sound immature, like we’re all adults and I shouldn’t care so much about whether someone says hi back. But when it happens repeatedly in a small environment, it starts to feel pretty alienating. (Also, because of the small cohort, the environment sometimes feels more like high school than grad school, with cliques and informal “popular” groups. I’ve noticed that many of the Asian students in my class, including myself, tend to be quieter, so part of me wonders if this is more about social dynamics or perceived status rather than anything else)
I guess I’m wondering: why do people act like this? And how would you deal with it without making things more awkward?
Trying to figure out if I’m overthinking or if this is just something people deal with. Thanks, guys!
#relationships
source
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