How do you even make friends? How do you become a normal…
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How do you even make friends? How do you become a normal person?
I promise this isn't a vent/rant post, as much as I inject my personal feelings into it.
What's bringing me down is the fact that I'm not able to be normal like other people, befriending others extremely quickly and it leading to strong friendships. I'm always witnessing the positive aura around groups of people who genuinely love one another, and you can tell by their faces that they enjoy one another's presence. This isn't even to mention the passionate calling out or approaching when one of them sees the other.
I really want to have that, but I'm stuck mostly alone and it's genuinely making the nights painful because I can't stop thinking about the fact that I just don't get to experience someone actually wanting to spend time with me.
I don't know if it's the way I talk or the way I look or even some other thing. It just doesn't lead to anything. I'm extroverted, I know that, but I deal with so many failures of mine trying to socialize that I really wish I were an introvert that's able to isolate himself with few problems.
I'm working a seasonal job with many people from around the USA and even the world here. I do my best to walk up to people and try to get them to talk about their background because I know that people love talking about themselves, but they always cut conversations with me short compared to with others. I do my best to make it a dialogue by inserting the stuff I know about the places they're from or their cultures, but it just leads to a nervous smile and ends there. Sometimes I have a good short conversation with some of them, but then they don't say hi to me when they notice me in the hallway or in the same room. Why is that?
Am I not supposed to be the one doing the approaching? After all, I'm the one who's offering his hand to the others, and all it takes is for them to do the same, but it almost never is like that.
I'm the one who does the inviting, and I'm the one who puts in the effort to get to know others. People don't do that with me, though, so I'm either just horrible at social skills or people think I'm unapproachable, but I doubt it's the latter considering how often I genuinely try to initiate interactions.
Why is it that people don't really give a shit about me? I want to understand what's wrong with me. I'm clean. I don't wear filthy clothes. I'm not rude to people. Sometimes I misinterpret the mood or tone of a conversation, but a lot of people are fine with others who are even more socially awkward than I am. I'm not ugly to look at (I'm not beautiful either, but I'm also not hideous). I don't make conversations just about myself.
If this were just one or two people being like this to me, then I could say that maybe they were just jerks I came across, but this is with nearly everyone. The problem's clearly with me, but I'm stressing out so bad over the fact that I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I just want to feel like I'm as capable as others.
The most embarrassing part is that I genuinely am unable to befriend women my age. Sometimes with guys (1 in a thousand) I can actually get through and seem like a cool person to them, but this has never happened with women. No, I'm not sexist, and I treat men and women the same. It's genuinely humiliating to admit this flaw of mine.
#relationships
source
I promise this isn't a vent/rant post, as much as I inject my personal feelings into it.
What's bringing me down is the fact that I'm not able to be normal like other people, befriending others extremely quickly and it leading to strong friendships. I'm always witnessing the positive aura around groups of people who genuinely love one another, and you can tell by their faces that they enjoy one another's presence. This isn't even to mention the passionate calling out or approaching when one of them sees the other.
I really want to have that, but I'm stuck mostly alone and it's genuinely making the nights painful because I can't stop thinking about the fact that I just don't get to experience someone actually wanting to spend time with me.
I don't know if it's the way I talk or the way I look or even some other thing. It just doesn't lead to anything. I'm extroverted, I know that, but I deal with so many failures of mine trying to socialize that I really wish I were an introvert that's able to isolate himself with few problems.
I'm working a seasonal job with many people from around the USA and even the world here. I do my best to walk up to people and try to get them to talk about their background because I know that people love talking about themselves, but they always cut conversations with me short compared to with others. I do my best to make it a dialogue by inserting the stuff I know about the places they're from or their cultures, but it just leads to a nervous smile and ends there. Sometimes I have a good short conversation with some of them, but then they don't say hi to me when they notice me in the hallway or in the same room. Why is that?
Am I not supposed to be the one doing the approaching? After all, I'm the one who's offering his hand to the others, and all it takes is for them to do the same, but it almost never is like that.
I'm the one who does the inviting, and I'm the one who puts in the effort to get to know others. People don't do that with me, though, so I'm either just horrible at social skills or people think I'm unapproachable, but I doubt it's the latter considering how often I genuinely try to initiate interactions.
Why is it that people don't really give a shit about me? I want to understand what's wrong with me. I'm clean. I don't wear filthy clothes. I'm not rude to people. Sometimes I misinterpret the mood or tone of a conversation, but a lot of people are fine with others who are even more socially awkward than I am. I'm not ugly to look at (I'm not beautiful either, but I'm also not hideous). I don't make conversations just about myself.
If this were just one or two people being like this to me, then I could say that maybe they were just jerks I came across, but this is with nearly everyone. The problem's clearly with me, but I'm stressing out so bad over the fact that I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I just want to feel like I'm as capable as others.
The most embarrassing part is that I genuinely am unable to befriend women my age. Sometimes with guys (1 in a thousand) I can actually get through and seem like a cool person to them, but this has never happened with women. No, I'm not sexist, and I treat men and women the same. It's genuinely humiliating to admit this flaw of mine.
#relationships
source
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