you never actually let yourself feel proud of getting here…
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you never actually let yourself feel proud of getting here
you can list everything that's still wrong without pausing for breath. the thing you haven't fixed yet, the habit you're still working on, the version of your life that isn't quite where you pictured it by now. that list comes easily, automatically, like it's been rehearsed.
ask you to list what you've actually gotten through to arrive at this exact point, and you go quiet for a second. not because there's nothing there. because you've never practiced saying it.
there was a year, maybe more than one, where you genuinely weren't sure you'd come out the other side functioning the way you are right now. something broke, or someone left, or a version of your future you'd been counting on just didn't happen. and you didn't get a clean recovery arc. you just kept showing up to ordinary days, slowly, without announcing any of it, until enough ordinary days stacked up and you were somehow standing on the other side of it.
and instead of recognizing that as something, you immediately moved the goalposts. fine, you got through that, but you still haven't figured out the next thing. so the pride never lands anywhere. it just keeps getting deferred to some future point where you'll finally have earned the right to feel good about any of it.
that point doesn't actually arrive on its own. you have to decide to stop there, on purpose, and actually let the credit land instead of immediately reaching for the next problem to solve.
you don't have to wait until everything's resolved to acknowledge that something in you held, when it had every reason not to. the unresolved parts can stay unresolved and you can still take a second, right now, to notice that you're further along than you were a year ago, even if it doesn't look like the finish line you had in mind.
it's been about eight months since the version of this that nearly took you under, and you've never once said out loud that you're proud you made it this far. not to anyone. not even to yourself, quietly, in your own head.
say it once. just to yourself. see how it feels to actually let it land instead of immediately listing what's still left to fix.
#inspiration
you can list everything that's still wrong without pausing for breath. the thing you haven't fixed yet, the habit you're still working on, the version of your life that isn't quite where you pictured it by now. that list comes easily, automatically, like it's been rehearsed.
ask you to list what you've actually gotten through to arrive at this exact point, and you go quiet for a second. not because there's nothing there. because you've never practiced saying it.
there was a year, maybe more than one, where you genuinely weren't sure you'd come out the other side functioning the way you are right now. something broke, or someone left, or a version of your future you'd been counting on just didn't happen. and you didn't get a clean recovery arc. you just kept showing up to ordinary days, slowly, without announcing any of it, until enough ordinary days stacked up and you were somehow standing on the other side of it.
and instead of recognizing that as something, you immediately moved the goalposts. fine, you got through that, but you still haven't figured out the next thing. so the pride never lands anywhere. it just keeps getting deferred to some future point where you'll finally have earned the right to feel good about any of it.
that point doesn't actually arrive on its own. you have to decide to stop there, on purpose, and actually let the credit land instead of immediately reaching for the next problem to solve.
you don't have to wait until everything's resolved to acknowledge that something in you held, when it had every reason not to. the unresolved parts can stay unresolved and you can still take a second, right now, to notice that you're further along than you were a year ago, even if it doesn't look like the finish line you had in mind.
it's been about eight months since the version of this that nearly took you under, and you've never once said out loud that you're proud you made it this far. not to anyone. not even to yourself, quietly, in your own head.
say it once. just to yourself. see how it feels to actually let it land instead of immediately listing what's still left to fix.
#inspiration
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