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I am feeling losted, feeling complex, my mind can't have thoughts to do something for myself which can be studying, doing workout, having a good habits.
Out of nowhere when I sit to do study many thoughts and feeling start growing in my mind i feel roaming in the dark flat world without any lights and it is empty no colour no people just me broken alone walking forward with no reason. And also sometimes I feel like the side character in my own life looking the world moving far from second by second. Dont tell me to take therapy or go out hangout with other. I am so tired of myself.
Having things which I needed to build my carrier but still I dont feel like doing. And whenever I reflect my life it feels that it dosent belongs to me I am living it under an unknown pressure.
#inspiration
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Out of nowhere when I sit to do study many thoughts and feeling start growing in my mind i feel roaming in the dark flat world without any lights and it is empty no colour no people just me broken alone walking forward with no reason. And also sometimes I feel like the side character in my own life looking the world moving far from second by second. Dont tell me to take therapy or go out hangout with other. I am so tired of myself.
Having things which I needed to build my carrier but still I dont feel like doing. And whenever I reflect my life it feels that it dosent belongs to me I am living it under an unknown pressure.
#inspiration
source
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I just need some help understanding myself
I have many “hobbies” and have a set core of hobbies I genuinely feel like I’d enjoy pursuing over the years it’s evolved and changed but as of right now I have a solid list.
Now I put hobbies in quotes because I never actually do them, I want to, they bring me happiness when I do them but I just can’t do them consistently (ex. I’ve been always taken by the idea to learn how to play the piano since I was 3)
But like if I truly wanted to do these hobbies (I genuinely feel I do) then why can’t I do them? Have I just manipulated myself into believing I want to do them? (One of the core important parts I believe in life is pursuing and engaging in hobbies, I love the idea of dedicating yourself to them) they feel like they are a core part of my identity but I feel like such a Larp for not engaging in them? Do I truly like hobbies or want to do the hobbies I’ve put myself to?
I can genuinely say yes to that question but is that the truth?
I know motivation isn’t what u should wait for, dedication and discipline is the important factor, and I’ve read all the advice, tips, tricks, yadda yadda, I’m at the point of “you gotta just do it dude” but I’ve tried that for so long “just doing it”
I’ve also been diagnosed and recently started medication for adhd and I believe that’ll help me but medication is just a tool in the tool box, what is it that keeps me from truly “just doing it” and “being happy and content”? I always try to analyze myself and it’ll be a tough pill to swallow but are my “dreams and aspirations” just that? Something I “like the idea of” but not actually like the process and doing the thing? (Like the quote, everybody wanna be a bodybuilder, but nobody wants to lift heavy weights)
I don’t want the typical advice of “starting small” “progress over progression” “celebrate small wins” ect ect that’s been written and rewritten over and over again, I just wanna know what is the true reason that I am the way I am because I just don’t understand it, if I like it, want to like it, and enjoy it, why can’t I just do it?
#inspiration
source
I have many “hobbies” and have a set core of hobbies I genuinely feel like I’d enjoy pursuing over the years it’s evolved and changed but as of right now I have a solid list.
Now I put hobbies in quotes because I never actually do them, I want to, they bring me happiness when I do them but I just can’t do them consistently (ex. I’ve been always taken by the idea to learn how to play the piano since I was 3)
But like if I truly wanted to do these hobbies (I genuinely feel I do) then why can’t I do them? Have I just manipulated myself into believing I want to do them? (One of the core important parts I believe in life is pursuing and engaging in hobbies, I love the idea of dedicating yourself to them) they feel like they are a core part of my identity but I feel like such a Larp for not engaging in them? Do I truly like hobbies or want to do the hobbies I’ve put myself to?
I can genuinely say yes to that question but is that the truth?
I know motivation isn’t what u should wait for, dedication and discipline is the important factor, and I’ve read all the advice, tips, tricks, yadda yadda, I’m at the point of “you gotta just do it dude” but I’ve tried that for so long “just doing it”
I’ve also been diagnosed and recently started medication for adhd and I believe that’ll help me but medication is just a tool in the tool box, what is it that keeps me from truly “just doing it” and “being happy and content”? I always try to analyze myself and it’ll be a tough pill to swallow but are my “dreams and aspirations” just that? Something I “like the idea of” but not actually like the process and doing the thing? (Like the quote, everybody wanna be a bodybuilder, but nobody wants to lift heavy weights)
I don’t want the typical advice of “starting small” “progress over progression” “celebrate small wins” ect ect that’s been written and rewritten over and over again, I just wanna know what is the true reason that I am the way I am because I just don’t understand it, if I like it, want to like it, and enjoy it, why can’t I just do it?
#inspiration
source
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how do you value time and concentrate on your personal growth ?
I feel like i need to step up and stand on my two feet. After all how long can we sit in someone shadow like we have to create our own identity eventually. And I'm very very behind in doing this. Like at 30, I don't have a job nor past work experience. I don't drive which makes me feel like my life is handicapped. And more importantly I have no college degree and any skills set for making money or even getting opportunities for jobs. It's like I'm worried about everything and everyday but not once do I take initial actions and change. I know deep down I need to take life serious instead of worrying. And most people get the illusion I'm very serious in life but little do they know I'm not even taking upon responsibilities and actions.
I also feel ashamed to start from scratch and all the way bottom. As if I'm afraid of judgment or criticism. I'm just automatically wishing I'll get a nice job with good pay. That I'll instantly learn driving on my own. That confidence will come and I'll be smart and level up to others eventually. It's like month of July has already come to an end. And I've wasted so much time that years went like this.
#inspiration
source
I feel like i need to step up and stand on my two feet. After all how long can we sit in someone shadow like we have to create our own identity eventually. And I'm very very behind in doing this. Like at 30, I don't have a job nor past work experience. I don't drive which makes me feel like my life is handicapped. And more importantly I have no college degree and any skills set for making money or even getting opportunities for jobs. It's like I'm worried about everything and everyday but not once do I take initial actions and change. I know deep down I need to take life serious instead of worrying. And most people get the illusion I'm very serious in life but little do they know I'm not even taking upon responsibilities and actions.
I also feel ashamed to start from scratch and all the way bottom. As if I'm afraid of judgment or criticism. I'm just automatically wishing I'll get a nice job with good pay. That I'll instantly learn driving on my own. That confidence will come and I'll be smart and level up to others eventually. It's like month of July has already come to an end. And I've wasted so much time that years went like this.
#inspiration
source