How do I ‘fit in’ better with a friend group? So long…
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How do I ‘fit in’ better with a friend group?
So long story short a couple of my sisters friend (call them Bob and Sarah) work with me and my sister. Sarah is her friend from school and Bob is Sarah’s boyfriend.
We do get on really well. Like at work we have a good time and it’s fun etc… and they all introduced me to this friendship group of about 8-9 people plus some of there other friends.
Well I got invited to the core groups holiday which I felt flattered and maybe a bit of imposter syndrome because I’ve only known them all (other than Sarah) for like 5-6 months.
I’m an introvert anyway. But I feel like now the sort of ‘getting to know’ someone phase is over I’m struggling a little bit to know what to say. This is an issue I have a lot of the time. I can be good in social situations but it’s the coming up with things to say.
I guess I’ve struggled to fit in with groups maybe because of this sort of my entire life. Middle school and high school I can chalk it up to drifting apart etc… but university when I finished I sort of phased out of that friendship group. But I don’t really think they were the right people for me
I think maybe I also get a little paranoid with if they like me or not. Like sometimes if a few people laugh at me I’m wondering are they laughing with me or at me and taking the mic. I know it’s a really bad mindset. Naturally humans want to be liked but because I’ve had issues in the past where I feel like I unfairly don’t get invited to things, or included when I’ve done nothing. Sometimes I do think because it’s happened on a number of occasions maybe it’s a me thing but I’d like to think I’m kind hearted, honest and friendly. I get I can come across as slightly awkward and introverted but that’s just me I guess.
The thing is, these people sort are my type of people. They enjoy football, they play a sport I’ve wanted to play for a while, they get like funny TikTok references, they’re into their fitness. I definitely think there’s enough to talk about or like things in common. But the thing i struggle with is once you find out stuff about someone say they like a sport and you like it. You’ll have a really good conversation about it but if you’re with someone for hours or one on one (1 on 1 conversations I actually despise) then like what else do you sort of talk about. Like I just don’t know why I struggle so much with it. I just do. I’m good at getting to know someone. Like when I first meet someone I’m fine. It’s the 3rd, 4th, 5th time meeting someone for me it gets harder. When in fact I feel like it should be the opposite where it gets easier.
#relationships
source
So long story short a couple of my sisters friend (call them Bob and Sarah) work with me and my sister. Sarah is her friend from school and Bob is Sarah’s boyfriend.
We do get on really well. Like at work we have a good time and it’s fun etc… and they all introduced me to this friendship group of about 8-9 people plus some of there other friends.
Well I got invited to the core groups holiday which I felt flattered and maybe a bit of imposter syndrome because I’ve only known them all (other than Sarah) for like 5-6 months.
I’m an introvert anyway. But I feel like now the sort of ‘getting to know’ someone phase is over I’m struggling a little bit to know what to say. This is an issue I have a lot of the time. I can be good in social situations but it’s the coming up with things to say.
I guess I’ve struggled to fit in with groups maybe because of this sort of my entire life. Middle school and high school I can chalk it up to drifting apart etc… but university when I finished I sort of phased out of that friendship group. But I don’t really think they were the right people for me
I think maybe I also get a little paranoid with if they like me or not. Like sometimes if a few people laugh at me I’m wondering are they laughing with me or at me and taking the mic. I know it’s a really bad mindset. Naturally humans want to be liked but because I’ve had issues in the past where I feel like I unfairly don’t get invited to things, or included when I’ve done nothing. Sometimes I do think because it’s happened on a number of occasions maybe it’s a me thing but I’d like to think I’m kind hearted, honest and friendly. I get I can come across as slightly awkward and introverted but that’s just me I guess.
The thing is, these people sort are my type of people. They enjoy football, they play a sport I’ve wanted to play for a while, they get like funny TikTok references, they’re into their fitness. I definitely think there’s enough to talk about or like things in common. But the thing i struggle with is once you find out stuff about someone say they like a sport and you like it. You’ll have a really good conversation about it but if you’re with someone for hours or one on one (1 on 1 conversations I actually despise) then like what else do you sort of talk about. Like I just don’t know why I struggle so much with it. I just do. I’m good at getting to know someone. Like when I first meet someone I’m fine. It’s the 3rd, 4th, 5th time meeting someone for me it gets harder. When in fact I feel like it should be the opposite where it gets easier.
#relationships
source
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