People always tell me I'm mean and I don't know how to…
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People always tell me I'm mean and I don't know how to change
Hello, I (F29) have had this problem all my life and lately I'm feeling really down because of it: People always tell me I'm mean when they don't know me at all.
It happens mostly when I meet new people or it's people that I've only seen once or twice. I am a really quiet and shy person. It has only ever been women who said it. For example: I was at a volunteering event and this woman gives me a jacket, I say "thank you!" (And because I already have low self esteem and know how I come across, I try to have a nice and cheery voice). Later my husband tells me the woman told him I am really mean.
Second example: I am invited to a party at my husband's friends house. We play a game where the goal is to make others laugh. One guy makes a joke and everyone laughs, me too. Then this woman says (right at the table, infront of everyone): "You're a really mean person!"
I'll be honest: I've never had a lot of friends, was always "just there" at school and kept to myself, and even now I mostly go out because my husband brings me along.
I have spoken (often) with my husband about this and also about my lack of friends. He says that most people tell him (never me) that I seem very nice. But people honestly never talk to me. When I try to talk to people they don't even answer. This has happened all my life. I only speak about positive things, I try to always be helpful, I try to not be a burden to anyone, but nothing is helping.
Maybe someone could help me to at least find a problem to the "you're mean" comments, because these really get to me!
#relationships
source
Hello, I (F29) have had this problem all my life and lately I'm feeling really down because of it: People always tell me I'm mean when they don't know me at all.
It happens mostly when I meet new people or it's people that I've only seen once or twice. I am a really quiet and shy person. It has only ever been women who said it. For example: I was at a volunteering event and this woman gives me a jacket, I say "thank you!" (And because I already have low self esteem and know how I come across, I try to have a nice and cheery voice). Later my husband tells me the woman told him I am really mean.
Second example: I am invited to a party at my husband's friends house. We play a game where the goal is to make others laugh. One guy makes a joke and everyone laughs, me too. Then this woman says (right at the table, infront of everyone): "You're a really mean person!"
I'll be honest: I've never had a lot of friends, was always "just there" at school and kept to myself, and even now I mostly go out because my husband brings me along.
I have spoken (often) with my husband about this and also about my lack of friends. He says that most people tell him (never me) that I seem very nice. But people honestly never talk to me. When I try to talk to people they don't even answer. This has happened all my life. I only speak about positive things, I try to always be helpful, I try to not be a burden to anyone, but nothing is helping.
Maybe someone could help me to at least find a problem to the "you're mean" comments, because these really get to me!
#relationships
source
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