How can I fulfill my need for human connection if I make…
0 reactions
How can I fulfill my need for human connection if I make it impossible for myself?
I feel like I’m in an infinite loop. I have ADHD, so that makes me a naturally VERY picky person. For example, if a video game or movie doesn’t have the exact traits that I’m looking for, I get very bored and uninterested. Unfortunately, this also extends to people. I cannot for the life of me get myself to talk to people I don’t find interesting (which is the vast majority of people) believe me, I’ve tried. I’d consider myself very good at small talk, I can carry a conversation with a complete stranger fairly easily. So when I’m only talking to a person for less than an hour, I have very good social skills. The problem is that for people that I interact with multiple times, like a coworker, if I don’t find anything about them that interests me during those initial small talk sessions, I completely detach from them. I mean that I start avoiding them, I barely look at them and our conversations are very brief. I just can’t care about this person once I’ve deemed them uninteresting. Of course, that makes the majority of the people at my workplace think that I’m an asocial asshole. I’ve tried to get myself out of this loop, but the problem is that I am literally mentally ill. No amount of mindset change is going to fix this. My medication doesn’t fix this. The other problem is that when I do find a person I’m interested in, the personality shift is so jarring that I probably seem completely fake to them. Because it’s so rare for me to be interested in somebody, I get way too attached and start acting like an idiot. Thus making them keep their distance. I have very close friends, but I get the impression that I’m a person that is good in small doses. Too much of me will turn someone off because I’m a total weirdo. So my close friends don’t talk to me very much, even if I’m trying to reach out more due to how lonely I am. If someone has any advice please please help me. I actually can’t stand it anymore.
#relationships
source
I feel like I’m in an infinite loop. I have ADHD, so that makes me a naturally VERY picky person. For example, if a video game or movie doesn’t have the exact traits that I’m looking for, I get very bored and uninterested. Unfortunately, this also extends to people. I cannot for the life of me get myself to talk to people I don’t find interesting (which is the vast majority of people) believe me, I’ve tried. I’d consider myself very good at small talk, I can carry a conversation with a complete stranger fairly easily. So when I’m only talking to a person for less than an hour, I have very good social skills. The problem is that for people that I interact with multiple times, like a coworker, if I don’t find anything about them that interests me during those initial small talk sessions, I completely detach from them. I mean that I start avoiding them, I barely look at them and our conversations are very brief. I just can’t care about this person once I’ve deemed them uninteresting. Of course, that makes the majority of the people at my workplace think that I’m an asocial asshole. I’ve tried to get myself out of this loop, but the problem is that I am literally mentally ill. No amount of mindset change is going to fix this. My medication doesn’t fix this. The other problem is that when I do find a person I’m interested in, the personality shift is so jarring that I probably seem completely fake to them. Because it’s so rare for me to be interested in somebody, I get way too attached and start acting like an idiot. Thus making them keep their distance. I have very close friends, but I get the impression that I’m a person that is good in small doses. Too much of me will turn someone off because I’m a total weirdo. So my close friends don’t talk to me very much, even if I’m trying to reach out more due to how lonely I am. If someone has any advice please please help me. I actually can’t stand it anymore.
#relationships
source
| 2,000 mlx | |
| 3 | |
| 0 |