35 and realizing I never learned how to be social 35 and…
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35 and realizing I never learned how to be social
35 and realized my upbringing really set me behind socially
Really struggling with making progress socially. I've always been introverted, very in my head, and for some reason people took that as an invite to be cruel and bully me throughout middle school, high school, and even into college. Hell, if I'm being honest, I've seen it seep into my adult years. I was physically bullied and received insults from even teachers and coaches.
All of this definitely left scars that I'm still dealing with. I have a hard time speaking up for myself and not mumbling because of being insecure about my voice. I feel people avoiding me after a certain time. I’ve been called awkward since high school.
I have felt periods of time where I’m confident and sort of in a “flow state” where talking to people is way easier and my mind quiets down, but over the last year or so those moments have been almost obsolete. People tell me I’m very attractive and kind. I’ve had relationships with awesome people. But a lot of the time I feel that I disappoint people because I don’t live up to how I look or somethin.
I feel like one of the last times I felt very confident and able to socialize well was on my birthday in 2023 when I invited grad school classmates to a party and they all showed up for me and people were loving talking with me. Something happened inside me in the last year or so and I just haven’t been able to get to that place mentally to work on my social skills. It’s made me quite sad.
I’ve discussed this in therapy but always told the same things: it’s a story I’m telling myself, those people’s opinions don’t matter. But I do care and I do want to improve my conversational skills and not come off as so nervous, boring. Because I am smart, I am interesting, I am passionate and kind.
I’ve been watching helpful videos on YouTube and trying to put myself out there but literally escaped a friend’s party last night and felt bad. Anyone else have this realization of giving off an energy and sliding backwards socially? Would a speech therapist help?
#relationships
source
35 and realized my upbringing really set me behind socially
Really struggling with making progress socially. I've always been introverted, very in my head, and for some reason people took that as an invite to be cruel and bully me throughout middle school, high school, and even into college. Hell, if I'm being honest, I've seen it seep into my adult years. I was physically bullied and received insults from even teachers and coaches.
All of this definitely left scars that I'm still dealing with. I have a hard time speaking up for myself and not mumbling because of being insecure about my voice. I feel people avoiding me after a certain time. I’ve been called awkward since high school.
I have felt periods of time where I’m confident and sort of in a “flow state” where talking to people is way easier and my mind quiets down, but over the last year or so those moments have been almost obsolete. People tell me I’m very attractive and kind. I’ve had relationships with awesome people. But a lot of the time I feel that I disappoint people because I don’t live up to how I look or somethin.
I feel like one of the last times I felt very confident and able to socialize well was on my birthday in 2023 when I invited grad school classmates to a party and they all showed up for me and people were loving talking with me. Something happened inside me in the last year or so and I just haven’t been able to get to that place mentally to work on my social skills. It’s made me quite sad.
I’ve discussed this in therapy but always told the same things: it’s a story I’m telling myself, those people’s opinions don’t matter. But I do care and I do want to improve my conversational skills and not come off as so nervous, boring. Because I am smart, I am interesting, I am passionate and kind.
I’ve been watching helpful videos on YouTube and trying to put myself out there but literally escaped a friend’s party last night and felt bad. Anyone else have this realization of giving off an energy and sliding backwards socially? Would a speech therapist help?
#relationships
source
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