Trying to help a tween maintain social connections.... My…
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Trying to help a tween maintain social connections....
My kid is just finishing 6th grade at a new school where he has actually made quite a few good new connections, but very few friends that he can hang out with outside of school. He was invited to two bday parties this year which is more than I can say for the other school that he came from, where he was ostracized more or less. I've tried to nurture the connections with these new families and moms, but it's slow going, and my kid gives me very little direction about hanging out with them etc. But I've managed to spend more time with them on field trips. My kid is let's just say... awkward.
There is one kid that my kid loves and we went to his bday party earlier this year, and then arranged a family movie date that everyone was excited about. At the theater after the movie, both kids (age 11) got a bit rambunctious and started running around and hiding, silly stuff but NBD to me. When we left the theater we went down an escalator but the other kid's grandpa wanted to go back into the theater and get more popcorn to take home. The escalator going back up was not working, but the kids went ahead and ran up the downgoing escalator while the mom and I had to take a different stairwell.
When we got to the top, we couldn't find the kids. We started looking for them and couldn't find them, went back down the escalator looking, calling them, etc. I ran up the the theater to ask if they had gone back in there and was told no. The other mom was getting upset. Finally the kids, who HAD gone back into the theater, came out, and boyoboy was the other mom mad. Her kid was wayyy in trouble, and while I was perturbed, this was not the kind of thing I was going to do some kind of big punishment for. It was awkward. We left the theater with her telling her kid he was in big trouble and I didn't know what to do.
So I had my kid write her a little note of apology and explanation, which she responded to, and it seemed mostly ok. But we haven't hung out with this kid since.
I reached out to try to get them together again, about a month and a half later, and she responded but seemed unsure about getting together around the last day of school. My kid sees this kid at school every day but may not see him at all over the summer, which makes me sad.
My kid has traditionally had a hard time making friends so I'm really happy he has made connections this year, but he can sometimes be standoffish with parents and come across as a little odd. I don't know how to help him grow his social connections other than to get him a phone or something... can of worms. I do know that when he's at school he's walking around and talking with different groups of kids whose company he enjoys. But no one really seems to get together outside of school.
Just wondering if anyone has been here and how you handled it... thx.
#relationships
source
My kid is just finishing 6th grade at a new school where he has actually made quite a few good new connections, but very few friends that he can hang out with outside of school. He was invited to two bday parties this year which is more than I can say for the other school that he came from, where he was ostracized more or less. I've tried to nurture the connections with these new families and moms, but it's slow going, and my kid gives me very little direction about hanging out with them etc. But I've managed to spend more time with them on field trips. My kid is let's just say... awkward.
There is one kid that my kid loves and we went to his bday party earlier this year, and then arranged a family movie date that everyone was excited about. At the theater after the movie, both kids (age 11) got a bit rambunctious and started running around and hiding, silly stuff but NBD to me. When we left the theater we went down an escalator but the other kid's grandpa wanted to go back into the theater and get more popcorn to take home. The escalator going back up was not working, but the kids went ahead and ran up the downgoing escalator while the mom and I had to take a different stairwell.
When we got to the top, we couldn't find the kids. We started looking for them and couldn't find them, went back down the escalator looking, calling them, etc. I ran up the the theater to ask if they had gone back in there and was told no. The other mom was getting upset. Finally the kids, who HAD gone back into the theater, came out, and boyoboy was the other mom mad. Her kid was wayyy in trouble, and while I was perturbed, this was not the kind of thing I was going to do some kind of big punishment for. It was awkward. We left the theater with her telling her kid he was in big trouble and I didn't know what to do.
So I had my kid write her a little note of apology and explanation, which she responded to, and it seemed mostly ok. But we haven't hung out with this kid since.
I reached out to try to get them together again, about a month and a half later, and she responded but seemed unsure about getting together around the last day of school. My kid sees this kid at school every day but may not see him at all over the summer, which makes me sad.
My kid has traditionally had a hard time making friends so I'm really happy he has made connections this year, but he can sometimes be standoffish with parents and come across as a little odd. I don't know how to help him grow his social connections other than to get him a phone or something... can of worms. I do know that when he's at school he's walking around and talking with different groups of kids whose company he enjoys. But no one really seems to get together outside of school.
Just wondering if anyone has been here and how you handled it... thx.
#relationships
source
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