How do I set boundaries when I have no "leverage"? Very…
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How do I set boundaries when I have no "leverage"?
Very long story short, my brother (22m) and I (19m) have a difficult relationship. He can't/won't regulate his feelings, and whenever he's mad at work or his computer or just life in general he takes it out on me. Not physically, thank god, but he'll snap at me for stupid things, act like I'm stupid for asking genuine questions, etc. This is partly on me, because for a few years I wasn't able to stand up for myself and ended up just laying down and taking it.
Lately, though, I've been trying to set boundaries, telling him that he's not allowed to talk to me like that, but I don't really have any leverage here. I can't cut him out, because we both still live at home (I'm a student and the housing market is in shambles) and if I just walk away when he's being an ass, that's practically rewarding the behavior because he doesn't have to "deal with" me anymore. Our parents have also had many conversations with him about not lashing out at us when he's upset, but they don't really enforce it either.
How can I stand my ground and establish boundaries when I don't really have a way to enforce them?
#relationships
source
Very long story short, my brother (22m) and I (19m) have a difficult relationship. He can't/won't regulate his feelings, and whenever he's mad at work or his computer or just life in general he takes it out on me. Not physically, thank god, but he'll snap at me for stupid things, act like I'm stupid for asking genuine questions, etc. This is partly on me, because for a few years I wasn't able to stand up for myself and ended up just laying down and taking it.
Lately, though, I've been trying to set boundaries, telling him that he's not allowed to talk to me like that, but I don't really have any leverage here. I can't cut him out, because we both still live at home (I'm a student and the housing market is in shambles) and if I just walk away when he's being an ass, that's practically rewarding the behavior because he doesn't have to "deal with" me anymore. Our parents have also had many conversations with him about not lashing out at us when he's upset, but they don't really enforce it either.
How can I stand my ground and establish boundaries when I don't really have a way to enforce them?
#relationships
source
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