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Trouble socializing To preface, ive been suffering from…

Trouble socializing

To preface, ive been suffering from chronic alcoholism for several years now. And man, I don’t know what mental illness I have, but I have a really hard time keeping a conversation going. Regardless if it’s a stranger or a good friend, I often fall silent and don’t know what to say for long periods of time, to the point that I will literally rehearse topics to talk about before meeting up with people so I don’t just go nonverbal. But when I’ve been drinking, I’m able to keep a conversation flowing and I can think of things to say, despite my friends knowing that I’ve been drinking, it’s so nice to not feel uncomfortable and awkward. But I’m trying to get sober next month (that’s when I have an appointment for rehab) and I’m wondering how I’m going to be able to meet up with friends and keep up relationships with my trouble socializing. Does anyone have any advice, or maybe even there is someone who can relate to me? Would love to hear your stories!
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