How I met 11 new people after a year of not going out I…
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How I met 11 new people after a year of not going out
I used to write down lessons I learned after every time I went out. I figured I’d share my notes from last Sunday, if they can help someone.
For context: I hadn’t gone out in a year. I’ve built my social life in a way where I am able to maintain friendships and meet new people without having to go out. But I had the opportunity and wanted to challenge myself like I used to.
I went to this place called “The Sanctuary”, it’s a bar, club, restaurant and even has little activity stations like painting, tarot cards, face painting, and a retro video game section.
Here’s how I met new people and the lessons from it:
* **Have a “base”**: I went with 4 other friends. Although I was on my own when it came to starting conversations, knowing I could always come back to the group took pressure off.
* **I had to “warm up” socially**: My brain hadn’t done this in a year. It needed proof that talking to strangers was safe before it could cooperate. So I started with very small and simple interactions: I talked to a guy promoting his t-shirt at the venue, a girl who was confused about the drinks at the bar, saying “excuse me, can I pass?” out loud to people in my way. It was borderline dumb small stuff. But it slowly gave my brain proof that I can survive talking to strangers. Do it as many times as you need, even if it’s your whole night.
* **There is no rejection, just very short interactions**. Not every conversation went well. Some died immediately, some people didn’t even respond to me. That’s just part of it. I didn’t take it personally. My only goal early on is to prove to my brain that it’s safe talking to strangers, that’s it.
* **Talk to them like you already know them**. Once I felt more comfortable, starting conversations became very easy. You don’t need an opener, you can just talk to people like you’re already friends and they’ll tend to act accordingly. I was sitting in the painting area and just said “What are you drawing?” to one person, then I turned to another “What about you? That looks nice”. Names came only after.
* **Engage everyone around you**. I talked to as many people as I could. I said hi to literally everyone who sat down at the painting table. When you do this, you create this little corner of the venue where everyone knows you.
* **Make it fun for yourself**. Focus on what you can say and do to make it fun for yourself. When the vibe around you is fun and light, people feel it and want to be a part of it. I ended up drawing buff Patrick from SpongeBob, and 3 random people came up to me because of it.
I ended up befriending 2 bigger friend groups by the end of the night. I hope it can help you!
#relationships
source
I used to write down lessons I learned after every time I went out. I figured I’d share my notes from last Sunday, if they can help someone.
For context: I hadn’t gone out in a year. I’ve built my social life in a way where I am able to maintain friendships and meet new people without having to go out. But I had the opportunity and wanted to challenge myself like I used to.
I went to this place called “The Sanctuary”, it’s a bar, club, restaurant and even has little activity stations like painting, tarot cards, face painting, and a retro video game section.
Here’s how I met new people and the lessons from it:
* **Have a “base”**: I went with 4 other friends. Although I was on my own when it came to starting conversations, knowing I could always come back to the group took pressure off.
* **I had to “warm up” socially**: My brain hadn’t done this in a year. It needed proof that talking to strangers was safe before it could cooperate. So I started with very small and simple interactions: I talked to a guy promoting his t-shirt at the venue, a girl who was confused about the drinks at the bar, saying “excuse me, can I pass?” out loud to people in my way. It was borderline dumb small stuff. But it slowly gave my brain proof that I can survive talking to strangers. Do it as many times as you need, even if it’s your whole night.
* **There is no rejection, just very short interactions**. Not every conversation went well. Some died immediately, some people didn’t even respond to me. That’s just part of it. I didn’t take it personally. My only goal early on is to prove to my brain that it’s safe talking to strangers, that’s it.
* **Talk to them like you already know them**. Once I felt more comfortable, starting conversations became very easy. You don’t need an opener, you can just talk to people like you’re already friends and they’ll tend to act accordingly. I was sitting in the painting area and just said “What are you drawing?” to one person, then I turned to another “What about you? That looks nice”. Names came only after.
* **Engage everyone around you**. I talked to as many people as I could. I said hi to literally everyone who sat down at the painting table. When you do this, you create this little corner of the venue where everyone knows you.
* **Make it fun for yourself**. Focus on what you can say and do to make it fun for yourself. When the vibe around you is fun and light, people feel it and want to be a part of it. I ended up drawing buff Patrick from SpongeBob, and 3 random people came up to me because of it.
I ended up befriending 2 bigger friend groups by the end of the night. I hope it can help you!
#relationships
source
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