Among all possible options, I have chosen my personal rosary beads as my entry point for this #SignsOfFaithfulness . These rosary beads have accompanied me for over nine years, becoming a constant presence in my daily life, especially during my ordinary employment routine. I carried them with me every day, stowing them in my purse for easy access whenever I felt ready to pray the Holy Rosary.
In those days, I prayed the Rosary daily—often during my commute or, if I didn’t finish, I would continue before bed. However, amid a personal battle that others were unaware of, I eventually ceased this practice. While my belief in and awareness of God's presence remained, I stopped praying in the traditional way—both verbally and mentally. I came to understand that the absence of prayer does not equate to disbelief, just as attending church or praying does not definitively indicate a recognition of God's presence. This perspective is not universally applicable; rather, it stems from my personal experiences and encounters with others that have shaped these insights.
Having had the opportunity to study in a Catholic school, I became well-versed in the rituals of prayer—the Holy Rosary, monthly adorations, First Friday Masses, Sunday Holy Mass, nightly Bible readings, praying the Angelus, and the 3 o'clock prayer. School ingrained in me the importance of starting and ending each class with a prayer, which at times made me feel like I am destined to be a nun or someone guaranteed a place in heaven.
Yet, I found myself discontinuing these practices not due to lost faith but because the weight of life’s burdens made me feel as if my prayers weren’t making a difference. Prayer began to feel like an obligation—more of a habit than a heartfelt spiritual communication. During my lowest moments, alone and in despair, I questioned God: why was I chosen for such trials and never-ending suffering? Behind my doubts and complaints, I audaciously bargained with God, promising to return to prayer if He would help me through my struggles. Despite this audacity, I never ceased to acknowledge His presence.
I grappled with depression more than once without fully recognizing how deeply I had sunk into that dreadful state. I kept my struggles private, crying silently and beseeching God with my unanswerable questions. Unbeknownst to me, my slow but gradual progress was, in fact, a divine intervention—an invisible hand that kept me from complete desolation.
Today, I continue to struggle internally, though not as miserably as before. I constantly remind myself to let go of things, thoughts, and situations beyond my control, regardless of their severity or impact. While it is hard to forget the past, I strive to leave behind anything that disturbs my peace and guard my personal space against additional chaos in life.
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I may not know these two tanglers personally, but I truly consider them as someone who have shown faithfulness in me.
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In those days, I prayed the Rosary daily—often during my commute or, if I didn’t finish, I would continue before bed. However, amid a personal battle that others were unaware of, I eventually ceased this practice. While my belief in and awareness of God's presence remained, I stopped praying in the traditional way—both verbally and mentally. I came to understand that the absence of prayer does not equate to disbelief, just as attending church or praying does not definitively indicate a recognition of God's presence. This perspective is not universally applicable; rather, it stems from my personal experiences and encounters with others that have shaped these insights.
Having had the opportunity to study in a Catholic school, I became well-versed in the rituals of prayer—the Holy Rosary, monthly adorations, First Friday Masses, Sunday Holy Mass, nightly Bible readings, praying the Angelus, and the 3 o'clock prayer. School ingrained in me the importance of starting and ending each class with a prayer, which at times made me feel like I am destined to be a nun or someone guaranteed a place in heaven.
Yet, I found myself discontinuing these practices not due to lost faith but because the weight of life’s burdens made me feel as if my prayers weren’t making a difference. Prayer began to feel like an obligation—more of a habit than a heartfelt spiritual communication. During my lowest moments, alone and in despair, I questioned God: why was I chosen for such trials and never-ending suffering? Behind my doubts and complaints, I audaciously bargained with God, promising to return to prayer if He would help me through my struggles. Despite this audacity, I never ceased to acknowledge His presence.
I grappled with depression more than once without fully recognizing how deeply I had sunk into that dreadful state. I kept my struggles private, crying silently and beseeching God with my unanswerable questions. Unbeknownst to me, my slow but gradual progress was, in fact, a divine intervention—an invisible hand that kept me from complete desolation.
Today, I continue to struggle internally, though not as miserably as before. I constantly remind myself to let go of things, thoughts, and situations beyond my control, regardless of their severity or impact. While it is hard to forget the past, I strive to leave behind anything that disturbs my peace and guard my personal space against additional chaos in life.
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I may not know these two tanglers personally, but I truly consider them as someone who have shown faithfulness in me.
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14 comments
So you're a product of a Catholic school, which explains your strong sense of discipline, your formal demeanor, and the careful manner in which you express yourself. It is truly admirable how well you understand and live out Catholic practices. Although there have been slight changes in your form of worship, it is evident that your faith in Him remains steadfast.
I am also a Catholic, though I must admit with some embarrassment that I have not memorized the Holy Rosary. I also rarely attend church, but that does not diminish my belief in Him or the sincerity of my worship.
Thank you for mentioning me. I truly appreciate that you still acknowledge my presence, even though we haven’t talked much these past weeks.
I am also a Catholic, though I must admit with some embarrassment that I have not memorized the Holy Rosary. I also rarely attend church, but that does not diminish my belief in Him or the sincerity of my worship.
Thank you for mentioning me. I truly appreciate that you still acknowledge my presence, even though we haven’t talked much these past weeks.
Yes, I had the opportunity to attend a private Catholic high school due to the generosity of a family in Texas, who my elementary school teacher introduced me to. They provide financial assistance to less privileged students who they believe are deserving of their help. The scholarship wasn't particularly large, as it just covered tuition, but it still significantly eased the financial burden on my parents. Initially, I had not planned to enroll in a private school due to lack of resources, but my teacher's belief in me encouraged me to do so. Plus, it was more convenient as the public school was significantly far from my home, which I would have had to walk to every day.
You know, charls, you might think based on our chats that I am a disciplined person, but the truth is that I have many flaws. I tend not to mince my words. I am pretty straightforward and speak my mind, even if it might offend, intentional or not.
My time at the Catholic school was very educational, but sometimes I find it difficult to apply those lessons to real life, due to my cynicism. Don't worry if you don't know how to pray the rosary, it doesn't make you any less of a person. I truly believe that one's goodness cannot be measured by such things.
You know, charls, you might think based on our chats that I am a disciplined person, but the truth is that I have many flaws. I tend not to mince my words. I am pretty straightforward and speak my mind, even if it might offend, intentional or not.
My time at the Catholic school was very educational, but sometimes I find it difficult to apply those lessons to real life, due to my cynicism. Don't worry if you don't know how to pray the rosary, it doesn't make you any less of a person. I truly believe that one's goodness cannot be measured by such things.
Your elementary teacher made a wise decision in recommending you to the family that helped you study at a private Catholic school. She saw your potential early on, and it showed in the way you communicate. Even now, you remain mindful with your words, especially in serious conversations. You are aware how others might react, whether they will be offended or open minded, yet you still speak honestly and clearly. What I admire is that you don't rely on sarcasm or hidden insults to express your views. You speak directly, which I believe is a better and more MATURE approach. You appear to be composed and well - grounded person.
As for me, I'm still learning to be more composed. I'm starting to noticed some progress, and I've come to realize that not every situation requires winning an argument.
As for me, I'm still learning to be more composed. I'm starting to noticed some progress, and I've come to realize that not every situation requires winning an argument.
Studying in a Catholic school has greatly benefited me, for which I am indescribably grateful to the people who helped me. Strangely, when I was most closely adhering to religious practices - praying, attending church, studying at a Catholic institution - I used an extensive amount of profanity. However, I noticed that as I reduced these practices, that's the time I used less profanity. LOL.
At times, I adopt a sarcastic tone, but only with certain people, particularly if I share a close personal connection with them. This habit of mine isn't intended to offend, it merely adds a dash of flavor to our conversations. Others may not even perceive my remarks as sarcastic.
Yet it is true that I am a particularly direct individual. I prefer candidness over sweetening my words to earn approval. I am aware that not everyone appreciates this level of authenticity, and my directness can, at times, border on offensive.
Could we then say that my experiences have prompted the maturity I display today? Being mature, whether willingly or under compulsion, allows others to better understand their role in my life, to recognize their limits. Kindness is not an infinite resource, and I am aware that it can often be exploited.
Being composed is not a piece of cake, it takes time. I am just composed here... not verbally. hahaha.
Love that last statement "realizing that not every situation requires winning an argument"... is maturity.
Even if you didn't win over an argument, if it gives you peace, that means you win. :))
At times, I adopt a sarcastic tone, but only with certain people, particularly if I share a close personal connection with them. This habit of mine isn't intended to offend, it merely adds a dash of flavor to our conversations. Others may not even perceive my remarks as sarcastic.
Yet it is true that I am a particularly direct individual. I prefer candidness over sweetening my words to earn approval. I am aware that not everyone appreciates this level of authenticity, and my directness can, at times, border on offensive.
Could we then say that my experiences have prompted the maturity I display today? Being mature, whether willingly or under compulsion, allows others to better understand their role in my life, to recognize their limits. Kindness is not an infinite resource, and I am aware that it can often be exploited.
Being composed is not a piece of cake, it takes time. I am just composed here... not verbally. hahaha.
Love that last statement "realizing that not every situation requires winning an argument"... is maturity.
Even if you didn't win over an argument, if it gives you peace, that means you win. :))
When I think about how challenging it might be to study in a Catholic school, I sometimes doubt if I could fully follow the rules, especially the ones related to religion. It seems like you have to follow everything without question, simply because they are deemed proper.
Even now, I feel a bit uncomfortable going to church, as if I don’t belong there haha.
I’m not someone who uses profanity openly. I might think or say it quietly (as expression) at home sometimes, but I don’t say those words around others, even though I often hear them.
Like you, I can also be sarcastic, but only with close friends who know it’s all in good fun. It actually makes conversations more enjoyable when they respond in the same way. I think moments like that show how strong the friendship is. If someone gets offended easily, it might mean they’re not yet fully comfortable, or they might take the sarcasm seriously. Real friends know each other’s limits and understand what kind of jokes are okay.
Even now, I feel a bit uncomfortable going to church, as if I don’t belong there haha.
I’m not someone who uses profanity openly. I might think or say it quietly (as expression) at home sometimes, but I don’t say those words around others, even though I often hear them.
Like you, I can also be sarcastic, but only with close friends who know it’s all in good fun. It actually makes conversations more enjoyable when they respond in the same way. I think moments like that show how strong the friendship is. If someone gets offended easily, it might mean they’re not yet fully comfortable, or they might take the sarcasm seriously. Real friends know each other’s limits and understand what kind of jokes are okay.
It's been some time since I made a New Year's resolution to refrain from using profanity, or even thinking about it. Given that my environment is rife with expletives, it wouldn't be surprising if I picked up the habit. But I do my utmost to control myself, I make a conscious effort not to speak ill or comment negatively, as a way to keep harmful thoughts. Even when my mind strays into sinful territory, I try to curb those thoughts through my actions and words. Swearing is one of the things I can regulate, because it's within my control. As for what goes on in my mind, that's trickier to manage, but I counteract those thoughts through my words and actions.
Funny thing is, there are times when I am physically present in church, but mentally I'm elsewhere. I'm not your typical crazy - the kind that runs around the streets naked. But sometimes I catch myself smiling like a fool while the priest delivers mass, lost in my own world of thoughts and scenarios. I can't seem to stop my brain from straying into this realm of thought. While I am not weary of going to church, I firmly believe that we don't necessarily need to be within its walls to pray or reflect. Anywhere that brings us peace is a good enough place.
Indeed, there are friends who are extremely sensitive, but their feelings are genuine. Perhaps, they are uncomfortable with philosophical responses to thoughtful questions. Some people may not be accustomed to playful banter at first, but can adapt over time. I was like this, I used to become truly upset when someone made fun of me, to the point I also cry. But over time I've come to accept it, even though I can still be a bit grouchy. What I appreciate is when I ask a question that has been well thought out, and the response is likewise thoughtful. What I don't particularly enjoy is a philosophical response that is brushed off with a laugh. But hey, I'm doing my best to adapt, albeit being a little grumpy about it.
Funny thing is, there are times when I am physically present in church, but mentally I'm elsewhere. I'm not your typical crazy - the kind that runs around the streets naked. But sometimes I catch myself smiling like a fool while the priest delivers mass, lost in my own world of thoughts and scenarios. I can't seem to stop my brain from straying into this realm of thought. While I am not weary of going to church, I firmly believe that we don't necessarily need to be within its walls to pray or reflect. Anywhere that brings us peace is a good enough place.
Indeed, there are friends who are extremely sensitive, but their feelings are genuine. Perhaps, they are uncomfortable with philosophical responses to thoughtful questions. Some people may not be accustomed to playful banter at first, but can adapt over time. I was like this, I used to become truly upset when someone made fun of me, to the point I also cry. But over time I've come to accept it, even though I can still be a bit grouchy. What I appreciate is when I ask a question that has been well thought out, and the response is likewise thoughtful. What I don't particularly enjoy is a philosophical response that is brushed off with a laugh. But hey, I'm doing my best to adapt, albeit being a little grumpy about it.
This is faithfulness in its most authentic form, not perfection, but perseverance. Your rosary beads tell s story of holding on, even in silence. They are witness to your journey through faith, doubt, pain and grace. Thank you for opening your heart and letting us see your strength and truth. Your honesty is a gift to us all💙
Thank you very much, philida. I always anticipate your activities like this one because I know I will be able to share a part of myself, just as I really want to read your comment, which genuinely warms my heart. 🤗
Thank you, the pleasure is all mine🥰
If time permits, and signal data allows. I often drop by to read and learn more from your insights, inputs, sharing, reflection, discoveries and stories. Appreciate it and thanks for sharing it with us in his community. Blessings to you always.
Thank you, uwanderer. No pressure on that. Be safe and sound always!
You are always welcome. Glad to drop by anytime possible. Enjoy your holy week. Stay safe at all times.
buenos dÃas amiga, que tengas una feliz semana santa🥰
¡Buenos dÃas! Gracias y que tengas una feliz Pascua.