Asking a question about a comment personal in nature by…
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Asking a question about a comment personal in nature by opposite gender.
have a female friend (non-romantic) who I chat with frequently, and English is not her native language. Once in a while, she'll make a comment personal (about her) in nature, and it's not very clear.
I'll ask what she means, and she may not answer, or brush it off. Usually I move on. If I'm curious, I'll ask a second time, maybe with my interpretation: "did you mean?" and she'll respond simply "No." Before I move on, I'll ask one last time, "well then what did you mean?" either to be brushed off or get no response at all.
It came up recently that I confuse her with this, and she "can't figure me out," because I stop asking when "she's ready to answer." In other words, now that I've lost interest, she says she had her answer ready but since I stopped asking, it's my fault for being "unclear and confusing." This has happened apparently more than once (according to her).
My main question is, that in my mind, asking a question repeatedly, especially one of personal nature feels like I may be violating a boundary if I persist, am I wrong? She made the personal comment in the first place, so I figure it's ok to ask, but where to stop? Should I just not even ask again after the first try no matter how curious?
#relationships
source
have a female friend (non-romantic) who I chat with frequently, and English is not her native language. Once in a while, she'll make a comment personal (about her) in nature, and it's not very clear.
I'll ask what she means, and she may not answer, or brush it off. Usually I move on. If I'm curious, I'll ask a second time, maybe with my interpretation: "did you mean?" and she'll respond simply "No." Before I move on, I'll ask one last time, "well then what did you mean?" either to be brushed off or get no response at all.
It came up recently that I confuse her with this, and she "can't figure me out," because I stop asking when "she's ready to answer." In other words, now that I've lost interest, she says she had her answer ready but since I stopped asking, it's my fault for being "unclear and confusing." This has happened apparently more than once (according to her).
My main question is, that in my mind, asking a question repeatedly, especially one of personal nature feels like I may be violating a boundary if I persist, am I wrong? She made the personal comment in the first place, so I figure it's ok to ask, but where to stop? Should I just not even ask again after the first try no matter how curious?
#relationships
source
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