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tpHusband kicked me out
Throwaway account bcus I need help
So I (F21) got married a few week ago to (M34, let's call him M and he) we both are Muslim and from the same place. He's an engineer and works in out of India so I was also going to leave with M in a month, we got nikahfied 6 months before our wedding but never talked bcus his mother said we can get to know eachother properly after marriage and when my mother asked M to talk to me he said "lehaz rkhna chahiye (respect eachother)"
on the day of my barat M did not gave me a single compliment, M and his were desperate for ruksati and M got pissed when my real brother carried me all the way to car. Fast forward to the bedroom M was calling me baby immediately and didn't help me take off my jewellery until I asked even when I asked he tried for a few minutes and then called his mother for help, he told me to change and I did after that he gave me my muh dikhai which was an iPhone and then he told me that I can't drop it, put it near water or flame or give it to kids and he also told me do you know how much it costs? And then told me the price of it, then he gifted me a bag full of skincare and read all the made in labels out, after that he started to remove my clothes and I started to shake due to nervousness once my clothes were removed when he saw me properly the first words out of his mouth was "you're fat" (I'm 46 kg and have never been called fat or even chubby in my entire life). He checked if I'm a virgin (I completely was) for 15 minutes and tried to finger me I told him it hurts his reply was "bear it" that's the same thing he said over n over again, he wasn't getting an erection so he tried to get one for 30 mins. He wasn't gentle even when I asked him to be gentle. He pushed it in one go with so much force that I was close to fainting, all he had to say was "bear it" idk why but I didn't bleed and his thing were inside me for a mere second and it went down again, he tried to get himself hard again for 10 mins but it didn't work. after that I discussed with him what are his family plans which pissed his off bcus he does not want to delay pregnancy, I tried to explain I'm quite young and not ready but he was not ready to listen or reason with me. He also told me the same night that he wants me to wear Abaya and naqab even tho his mother doesn't and both of them knew that I don't do that and they both were specifically looking for a "smart girl" and after our nikah he told me that I can dress however I want, Also he's bald and the same height as me 5'4.
The same night I was telling M I can't sleep and maybe I should ask my sisters to bring over my silk pillow cover later and it pissed him off so badly he started yelling and scolding Me to which I didn't respond, even tho it's quite hot (April) he didn't let me turn the AC on, saying it's not the weather for AC.
The next morning at 11 am he told me I should go over to my mother's house bcus I'll be bored, he kept repeating until I agree to go back before leaving I asked him to give a kiss on cheek and he said no I'm not in the mood, he dropped me at my mothers place and I told my family everything, my mum called M and told him it's not appropriate of him to drop me here at this time and to take me back and he started arguing that he'll come to pick me up at night but my mother was very firm so M came to pick me up but didn't even ask to help me carry the heavy stuffs, I carried everything all the way.
The whole day it was mainly M calling me fat and we didn't talk much, I stumbled in the kitchen and hurt my pinky all he said was oh I thought you fell, once we were in bed I asked for cuddles and he said no I asked for hand holding he said no I fell asleep and woke up at 2 am he was going to the bathroom again and again M was sick so I didn't sleep a wink and took care of him until 7 am in between that time he asked me why I didn't bleed and how was I so comfortable in my first night and how could I kiss him back, even tho I was shaking the entire time and only kissed him after 40 mins, he also told me his D went inside easily and also demonstrated using my elbow how it was supposed to be, he also grabbed my shoulders and told me I've put on weight here and here and there. I got pissed and calmly told him he makes me feel uncomfortable and insecure and I'm not okay with doing it with him again. M left the bedroom and went to sleep on the sofa. I went to him and told him how uncomfortable and insecure he was making me feel but all he said was I won't do it again and that in marriage we have to adjust, and I shouldn't tell anyone about this, after this conversation we went to sleep
he woke me up at 9 am told me his mother called and we're going to her house for breakfast, he didn't even let me shower, anyways I went to m.i.l lace and was given a very small portion of breakfast and suffer in dying heat all day, after that I went to shop for bangles with my m.i.l for walima which was on the same day, he called me and ask how his mother is and that I should get her a juice that's it, He didn't ask about me. Anyways I went to the makeup parlour and when I got my makeup done I started crying bcus of how much his questions hurt, I thought I'll stay with him for at least a week and see if his behaviour changes, once I was done with makeup I waited for him desperate, to see his reaction and everything. He came to pick me up and when he saw me he didn't even say a single word, this hurt me so much that I wanted to cry badly!
After our walima we went to our apartment and I was just telling him casually that I'm so tired, the dress was hella heavy and everyone was making me stand up again n again. I'm tired. My head hurts, so he asked me who was making me stand up to which I replied "your relatives" which bothered him a lot. After a while this conversation switched to me expressing how I would love to address him by his name which pissed him off.
Anyways, my body was aching a lot and I asked him if we had any painkillers and he said no so I called my sister and asked her to bring me one
While waiting - we were discussing how I have to go to my mother's place at 2pm and that he'll wake me up at 9am and I can go with him to his mother's place, have breakfast, come back and sleep. Now the issue was that I am not even getting 3 hrs of sleep, my sleeping schedule is absolutely ruined and I can't fall asleep easily so I told him he can go alone, eat breakfast and come back without waking me up. He wasn't ready to leave me alone in apartment so I told him he can lock me from outside but he wasn't agreeing no matter what. So I called my sister and asked if I can come over and she said yes, while she was on call I asked him very gentle can I go to my home? And omg he sat up straight and was so pissed "you wanna go rn? Rn? Huh? Yes you can leave,no issues" I asked are you sure? Absolutely sure? He said yes angry so I asked him gently why are you getting so angry? (And disconnect the call I was on with my sister) Anyways so my sister came over and she asked me in front of him what happened? Why you do wanna go home? I said nothing happened we're just having issue with dropping and stuff so that's why I thought i should go rn so we don't have any issues in morning. He lied and said that I didn't ask for permission and that I'm ordering him. He opened the room and said 15 times take her, take her. In between this he also called him mother even tho my sister said we can solve this don't bother her, he still called so his mother called me and told me to go to my home but I knew that if I leave it'll be like I left him in a bad way so I didn't even despite everyone telling me to. Once my sister left I went to the bedroom while he stayed in the living room, he was on call for 2hrs with his mother I assume. Once he was done with his call he wasn't coming to bed so I went out and ask him are you not coming to bed? He said no I told him come to bed he said we'll discuss it in morning I said we will but come to bed rn we can sleep together peacefully, he said he's not comfortable with sleeping with me, I went to the bedroom and slept, he woke me up at 6am and said I'm going to my house, call your family and leave. His mother was yelling in the background that now I'll go to a lawyer, I'll go for divorce and this and that blah blah blah. I didn't answer her back at all. My brother came over to pick me up and asked my husband what's the matter? Let's talk but he was not interested he said we'll talk in front of elders only and he and his mother left.
His mother called on the 2nd day and apologized, and his father visited almost everyday.
No response from him for 5 days, after 5 days my father told my m.i.l hat M not showing any efforts at all so M came to meet me and said let's go home my mother is very worried, I was angry, it's a small issue, I won't do it again, these are the things he said he did not have any valid answer when I asked him why'd you kick me out? Anyways after that he left and it's been 7 days yet no text or call or anything from his end. No efforts
Please help. My heart hurts in ways I cannot explain. Idk if I should proceed with khula or go back even tho there's 0 efforts from his end
#religion
source
Throwaway account bcus I need help
So I (F21) got married a few week ago to (M34, let's call him M and he) we both are Muslim and from the same place. He's an engineer and works in out of India so I was also going to leave with M in a month, we got nikahfied 6 months before our wedding but never talked bcus his mother said we can get to know eachother properly after marriage and when my mother asked M to talk to me he said "lehaz rkhna chahiye (respect eachother)"
on the day of my barat M did not gave me a single compliment, M and his were desperate for ruksati and M got pissed when my real brother carried me all the way to car. Fast forward to the bedroom M was calling me baby immediately and didn't help me take off my jewellery until I asked even when I asked he tried for a few minutes and then called his mother for help, he told me to change and I did after that he gave me my muh dikhai which was an iPhone and then he told me that I can't drop it, put it near water or flame or give it to kids and he also told me do you know how much it costs? And then told me the price of it, then he gifted me a bag full of skincare and read all the made in labels out, after that he started to remove my clothes and I started to shake due to nervousness once my clothes were removed when he saw me properly the first words out of his mouth was "you're fat" (I'm 46 kg and have never been called fat or even chubby in my entire life). He checked if I'm a virgin (I completely was) for 15 minutes and tried to finger me I told him it hurts his reply was "bear it" that's the same thing he said over n over again, he wasn't getting an erection so he tried to get one for 30 mins. He wasn't gentle even when I asked him to be gentle. He pushed it in one go with so much force that I was close to fainting, all he had to say was "bear it" idk why but I didn't bleed and his thing were inside me for a mere second and it went down again, he tried to get himself hard again for 10 mins but it didn't work. after that I discussed with him what are his family plans which pissed his off bcus he does not want to delay pregnancy, I tried to explain I'm quite young and not ready but he was not ready to listen or reason with me. He also told me the same night that he wants me to wear Abaya and naqab even tho his mother doesn't and both of them knew that I don't do that and they both were specifically looking for a "smart girl" and after our nikah he told me that I can dress however I want, Also he's bald and the same height as me 5'4.
The same night I was telling M I can't sleep and maybe I should ask my sisters to bring over my silk pillow cover later and it pissed him off so badly he started yelling and scolding Me to which I didn't respond, even tho it's quite hot (April) he didn't let me turn the AC on, saying it's not the weather for AC.
The next morning at 11 am he told me I should go over to my mother's house bcus I'll be bored, he kept repeating until I agree to go back before leaving I asked him to give a kiss on cheek and he said no I'm not in the mood, he dropped me at my mothers place and I told my family everything, my mum called M and told him it's not appropriate of him to drop me here at this time and to take me back and he started arguing that he'll come to pick me up at night but my mother was very firm so M came to pick me up but didn't even ask to help me carry the heavy stuffs, I carried everything all the way.
The whole day it was mainly M calling me fat and we didn't talk much, I stumbled in the kitchen and hurt my pinky all he said was oh I thought you fell, once we were in bed I asked for cuddles and he said no I asked for hand holding he said no I fell asleep and woke up at 2 am he was going to the bathroom again and again M was sick so I didn't sleep a wink and took care of him until 7 am in between that time he asked me why I didn't bleed and how was I so comfortable in my first night and how could I kiss him back, even tho I was shaking the entire time and only kissed him after 40 mins, he also told me his D went inside easily and also demonstrated using my elbow how it was supposed to be, he also grabbed my shoulders and told me I've put on weight here and here and there. I got pissed and calmly told him he makes me feel uncomfortable and insecure and I'm not okay with doing it with him again. M left the bedroom and went to sleep on the sofa. I went to him and told him how uncomfortable and insecure he was making me feel but all he said was I won't do it again and that in marriage we have to adjust, and I shouldn't tell anyone about this, after this conversation we went to sleep
he woke me up at 9 am told me his mother called and we're going to her house for breakfast, he didn't even let me shower, anyways I went to m.i.l lace and was given a very small portion of breakfast and suffer in dying heat all day, after that I went to shop for bangles with my m.i.l for walima which was on the same day, he called me and ask how his mother is and that I should get her a juice that's it, He didn't ask about me. Anyways I went to the makeup parlour and when I got my makeup done I started crying bcus of how much his questions hurt, I thought I'll stay with him for at least a week and see if his behaviour changes, once I was done with makeup I waited for him desperate, to see his reaction and everything. He came to pick me up and when he saw me he didn't even say a single word, this hurt me so much that I wanted to cry badly!
After our walima we went to our apartment and I was just telling him casually that I'm so tired, the dress was hella heavy and everyone was making me stand up again n again. I'm tired. My head hurts, so he asked me who was making me stand up to which I replied "your relatives" which bothered him a lot. After a while this conversation switched to me expressing how I would love to address him by his name which pissed him off.
Anyways, my body was aching a lot and I asked him if we had any painkillers and he said no so I called my sister and asked her to bring me one
While waiting - we were discussing how I have to go to my mother's place at 2pm and that he'll wake me up at 9am and I can go with him to his mother's place, have breakfast, come back and sleep. Now the issue was that I am not even getting 3 hrs of sleep, my sleeping schedule is absolutely ruined and I can't fall asleep easily so I told him he can go alone, eat breakfast and come back without waking me up. He wasn't ready to leave me alone in apartment so I told him he can lock me from outside but he wasn't agreeing no matter what. So I called my sister and asked if I can come over and she said yes, while she was on call I asked him very gentle can I go to my home? And omg he sat up straight and was so pissed "you wanna go rn? Rn? Huh? Yes you can leave,no issues" I asked are you sure? Absolutely sure? He said yes angry so I asked him gently why are you getting so angry? (And disconnect the call I was on with my sister) Anyways so my sister came over and she asked me in front of him what happened? Why you do wanna go home? I said nothing happened we're just having issue with dropping and stuff so that's why I thought i should go rn so we don't have any issues in morning. He lied and said that I didn't ask for permission and that I'm ordering him. He opened the room and said 15 times take her, take her. In between this he also called him mother even tho my sister said we can solve this don't bother her, he still called so his mother called me and told me to go to my home but I knew that if I leave it'll be like I left him in a bad way so I didn't even despite everyone telling me to. Once my sister left I went to the bedroom while he stayed in the living room, he was on call for 2hrs with his mother I assume. Once he was done with his call he wasn't coming to bed so I went out and ask him are you not coming to bed? He said no I told him come to bed he said we'll discuss it in morning I said we will but come to bed rn we can sleep together peacefully, he said he's not comfortable with sleeping with me, I went to the bedroom and slept, he woke me up at 6am and said I'm going to my house, call your family and leave. His mother was yelling in the background that now I'll go to a lawyer, I'll go for divorce and this and that blah blah blah. I didn't answer her back at all. My brother came over to pick me up and asked my husband what's the matter? Let's talk but he was not interested he said we'll talk in front of elders only and he and his mother left.
His mother called on the 2nd day and apologized, and his father visited almost everyday.
No response from him for 5 days, after 5 days my father told my m.i.l hat M not showing any efforts at all so M came to meet me and said let's go home my mother is very worried, I was angry, it's a small issue, I won't do it again, these are the things he said he did not have any valid answer when I asked him why'd you kick me out? Anyways after that he left and it's been 7 days yet no text or call or anything from his end. No efforts
Please help. My heart hurts in ways I cannot explain. Idk if I should proceed with khula or go back even tho there's 0 efforts from his end
#religion
source
| 15,000 mlx | |
| 15 | |
| 0 |