Should you apologize for accidentally scaring someone? Got…
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Should you apologize for accidentally scaring someone?
Got into an argument with my mom about this one (I’m an adult, visiting with the folks at the moment).
So I’m standing in their kitchen in front of the microwave heating up some food. Can’t hear footsteps or anything else really due to the noise. To my right and back a bit is the entryway to the hallway, a very dark one at that. My dearest mother noiselessly and suddenly comes out of the darkness, popping into my peripheral vision, scaring the ever loving crap out of me and causing me to let out a completely involuntary scream.
Instead of going “oh sorry!” and us maybe laughing it off she proceeds to get upset, mumbling an exasperated “Oh my god” under her breath and storms off. Later I called her out on getting upset over it and not even saying anything like simple a “sorry” or “oops, didn’t mean to scare you!” She proceeds to tell me that it wasn’t intentional and doesn’t require an apology or acknowledgment of any kind. She’s actually never been big on apologies. I sort of just dropped it at that point because, you know, life’s too short.
It did get me thinking though. Personally I think not being able to offer an apology, or just an acknowledgment of some kind, in situations like this is a bit emotionally immature, and I think getting upset over it is even worse. If I accidentally step on someone’s foot it’s not intentional but I’m still going to offer a quick “sorry!”. It’s the respectful and kind thing to do, imo. It doesn’t need to be a big production, it’s just a brief comment letting the other person know you didn’t mean to scare, hurt, offend, etc. Especially with people you’re close with.
But I’m curious what others think about this kind of situation specifically. Am I overreacting? If you’ve done something unintentional, especially something you consider to not be a big deal like accidentally scaring someone, does that negate the need for even a quick apology? Or is it better to get in the habit of dropping a quick sorry or other type of acknowledgment in these kinds of situations.
#relationships
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Got into an argument with my mom about this one (I’m an adult, visiting with the folks at the moment).
So I’m standing in their kitchen in front of the microwave heating up some food. Can’t hear footsteps or anything else really due to the noise. To my right and back a bit is the entryway to the hallway, a very dark one at that. My dearest mother noiselessly and suddenly comes out of the darkness, popping into my peripheral vision, scaring the ever loving crap out of me and causing me to let out a completely involuntary scream.
Instead of going “oh sorry!” and us maybe laughing it off she proceeds to get upset, mumbling an exasperated “Oh my god” under her breath and storms off. Later I called her out on getting upset over it and not even saying anything like simple a “sorry” or “oops, didn’t mean to scare you!” She proceeds to tell me that it wasn’t intentional and doesn’t require an apology or acknowledgment of any kind. She’s actually never been big on apologies. I sort of just dropped it at that point because, you know, life’s too short.
It did get me thinking though. Personally I think not being able to offer an apology, or just an acknowledgment of some kind, in situations like this is a bit emotionally immature, and I think getting upset over it is even worse. If I accidentally step on someone’s foot it’s not intentional but I’m still going to offer a quick “sorry!”. It’s the respectful and kind thing to do, imo. It doesn’t need to be a big production, it’s just a brief comment letting the other person know you didn’t mean to scare, hurt, offend, etc. Especially with people you’re close with.
But I’m curious what others think about this kind of situation specifically. Am I overreacting? If you’ve done something unintentional, especially something you consider to not be a big deal like accidentally scaring someone, does that negate the need for even a quick apology? Or is it better to get in the habit of dropping a quick sorry or other type of acknowledgment in these kinds of situations.
#relationships
source
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