How do I become myself again after years of anger and…
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How do I become myself again after years of anger and resentment?
My sisters and I used to be genuinely close, but after our family loss everything slowly changed, and I don’t think any of us really dealt with it properly. Over the last few years I’ve felt increasingly isolated within my own family, and it’s turned into resentment, anger, and honestly a version of myself I barely recognise anymore.
We still share a lot of the same friends, but it often feels like there’s this underlying competition around who is “the social one,” especially with my youngest sister. If I’m out with mutual friends there’s immediately messages, questions, wanting updates or photos, and it leaves me feeling like I can’t just exist independently without comparison or scrutiny. My older sister tends to lecture me or speak to me like I’m socially incapable, and over time it’s really damaged my confidence.
The hardest part is that I never used to be like this. I was naturally easygoing, social, and pretty relaxed. Now I feel angry most of the time, awkward in conversations, constantly overthinking myself, and struggling to communicate properly. I know I’ve lashed out over the years, and I know that’s affected everyone too, but it also feels like those reactions came from years of feeling emotionally alone and unseen.
I think grief changed all of us differently, but for me it feels like I lost my relationship with my sisters at the same time, and I don’t know how to fix it anymore. I can also see how much the distance between us affects my mum, which makes me feel even worse about it all.
I guess I’m asking if anyone has been through something similar — where grief and family dynamics slowly changed your personality and relationships — and how you even begin rebuilding yourself and those relationships when so much resentment has built up over time. Thanks for any advice
#relationships
source
My sisters and I used to be genuinely close, but after our family loss everything slowly changed, and I don’t think any of us really dealt with it properly. Over the last few years I’ve felt increasingly isolated within my own family, and it’s turned into resentment, anger, and honestly a version of myself I barely recognise anymore.
We still share a lot of the same friends, but it often feels like there’s this underlying competition around who is “the social one,” especially with my youngest sister. If I’m out with mutual friends there’s immediately messages, questions, wanting updates or photos, and it leaves me feeling like I can’t just exist independently without comparison or scrutiny. My older sister tends to lecture me or speak to me like I’m socially incapable, and over time it’s really damaged my confidence.
The hardest part is that I never used to be like this. I was naturally easygoing, social, and pretty relaxed. Now I feel angry most of the time, awkward in conversations, constantly overthinking myself, and struggling to communicate properly. I know I’ve lashed out over the years, and I know that’s affected everyone too, but it also feels like those reactions came from years of feeling emotionally alone and unseen.
I think grief changed all of us differently, but for me it feels like I lost my relationship with my sisters at the same time, and I don’t know how to fix it anymore. I can also see how much the distance between us affects my mum, which makes me feel even worse about it all.
I guess I’m asking if anyone has been through something similar — where grief and family dynamics slowly changed your personality and relationships — and how you even begin rebuilding yourself and those relationships when so much resentment has built up over time. Thanks for any advice
#relationships
source
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