How to become a better liar? disclaimer: i am…
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How to become a better liar?
disclaimer: i am neurodivergent so this may be part of my problem
in my social/romantic/work life i have come up against friction because i find it very difficult to tell a lie, even a white one. it's not really out of some moral/ethical code, even if it's a harmless situation (e.g. lying to my boss about having an appt so i can take PTO for a job interview somewhere else) i get so anxious/paranoid i can't bring myself to lie.
i find this has been detrimental socially, too; if a bandmate asks my opinion on a part and i dislike it, i tell them openly, which i fear hurts feelings, so i do try to make it as subjective me-not-you as possible ("it's not really my kind of thing" etc). i am okay with keeping secrets/withholding info, so lying by omission, as it were, is a bit easier, but if asked, i feel like a deer in headlights and immediately blurt out the truth.
i feel it may even have put a nail in the coffin of my last relationship, because my ex had lied about his qualifications to get his job and was pissed with me that i couldn't do the same, i think maybe he thought i was judging him? even though i tried to explain i didn't have a problem with it morally, i'm just a deeply anxious/paranoid person who gets clammy hands and tongue-tied and sweaty when trying to be less than honest (think the protagonist in Knives Out....or the tell tale heart, haha)
i'm honestly mindboggled by how easily others seem to be able to tell white lies without fear, and worry that i'm sorta screwed / at a permanent disadvantage socially because there are times in life where it's probably safer not to tell the truth.
but is this a skill that's possible to acquire? and if so, is it even worth it? seems distasteful but also widely-accepted and i fear my forthrightness will be my downfall someday.
#relationships
source
disclaimer: i am neurodivergent so this may be part of my problem
in my social/romantic/work life i have come up against friction because i find it very difficult to tell a lie, even a white one. it's not really out of some moral/ethical code, even if it's a harmless situation (e.g. lying to my boss about having an appt so i can take PTO for a job interview somewhere else) i get so anxious/paranoid i can't bring myself to lie.
i find this has been detrimental socially, too; if a bandmate asks my opinion on a part and i dislike it, i tell them openly, which i fear hurts feelings, so i do try to make it as subjective me-not-you as possible ("it's not really my kind of thing" etc). i am okay with keeping secrets/withholding info, so lying by omission, as it were, is a bit easier, but if asked, i feel like a deer in headlights and immediately blurt out the truth.
i feel it may even have put a nail in the coffin of my last relationship, because my ex had lied about his qualifications to get his job and was pissed with me that i couldn't do the same, i think maybe he thought i was judging him? even though i tried to explain i didn't have a problem with it morally, i'm just a deeply anxious/paranoid person who gets clammy hands and tongue-tied and sweaty when trying to be less than honest (think the protagonist in Knives Out....or the tell tale heart, haha)
i'm honestly mindboggled by how easily others seem to be able to tell white lies without fear, and worry that i'm sorta screwed / at a permanent disadvantage socially because there are times in life where it's probably safer not to tell the truth.
but is this a skill that's possible to acquire? and if so, is it even worth it? seems distasteful but also widely-accepted and i fear my forthrightness will be my downfall someday.
#relationships
source
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