question regarding my attraction pattern as a lesbian…
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question regarding my attraction pattern as a lesbian
Starting in class 8, I was maybe an 11- or 12-year-old, and I learned about lgbt and what it is from insta reels and Snapchat.
It was new to me, so I was curious and searched more about it.
I got to know like there's further stuff like femme butch chapstick, etc
So I asked my classmates if they knew lgbt and they didn't. I explained to them each of the characters proudly
That time I wasn't into any girl, like I had a guy and celeb guys crushes
Later, I had too many girls as friends in school, and it was not appropriate for me or any girl to be close to a guy, even friendship was seen as inappropriate { social taboo }
So like I had crushes on guys, I talked to them when like really needed to like pass a copy or move aside or ask for h.w submission as class monitor and stuff, normal
I had developed a deep friendship with a girl in my class
She was the top girl, and I admired her
I befriended her over 3 yrs of time from 8th till 10th grade
No attraction towards her, only admiration, but she was secretive for a yr and so not letting me know basic stuff about her, what she likes and dislikes.
She was rather too quiet for someone. Initially, I felt she was tolerating me, but later, after like 2 yrs she started opening up and sharing stuff. still i didnt liked her in 8 th and 9th grade
In 8th grade, I went to local coaching. There was a girl who had a boy cut and looked so fine in it ( admiration ). I wanted to befriend her really hard, but when I tried to talk to her, she wasn't interested as she had her own social circle
So I gave up after trying 2 times, and instead I kinda looked at her with my friends (other 2 girlies I knew from coaching) that boy cut girly was confident and looking like a guy, like over sized cloths and all and playing with guy friends
I thought to myself if she looks this fine, I should get a haircut too
So I did a boycott, but it didn't suit my face. Never mind mistakes happen, my hair grew to almost the same length as before in like 2 yrs
Later, I had a liking one of my coaching firend she was warm to me a bit comforting and we hung out a lot i want to cafes local food stalls with her i spent the money she didnt she said she would pay back but she didnt i didnt mind she was my firned and i liked her maybe admired her too as she looked good and was nice to me
Once they came to visit me, as they had a scooter and asked if I was into girls out of the blue
I was hesitant, but said yes, i was i cant come out yet, so not to tell anyone.
She told everyone no girllies sat beside me or talked to me, as I was infected, they whispered
When I left coaching in 9 th grade, I naturally was busy with other coaching friends and forget about them
Inforgot school in 10th grade, this school topper girly i felt i was crushing on her but i know it wasnt possible to confess or i be shamed so i kept quite but by her side
but maybe she was seceretive still like i asked what books u used what coaching u went where is ur house lets have group study and what not she never told me anything she said when time will come she will let me know but she never did
Later, I broke off that friendship. I loved her too much, and I couldn't bear her being only my friend.
I wanted to hold hands and hug her, but she was from a conservative family where love marriage is taboo and same-sex attraction is not accepted.
So, why am I this attracted to those who are like this?
#adult
source
Starting in class 8, I was maybe an 11- or 12-year-old, and I learned about lgbt and what it is from insta reels and Snapchat.
It was new to me, so I was curious and searched more about it.
I got to know like there's further stuff like femme butch chapstick, etc
So I asked my classmates if they knew lgbt and they didn't. I explained to them each of the characters proudly
That time I wasn't into any girl, like I had a guy and celeb guys crushes
Later, I had too many girls as friends in school, and it was not appropriate for me or any girl to be close to a guy, even friendship was seen as inappropriate { social taboo }
So like I had crushes on guys, I talked to them when like really needed to like pass a copy or move aside or ask for h.w submission as class monitor and stuff, normal
I had developed a deep friendship with a girl in my class
She was the top girl, and I admired her
I befriended her over 3 yrs of time from 8th till 10th grade
No attraction towards her, only admiration, but she was secretive for a yr and so not letting me know basic stuff about her, what she likes and dislikes.
She was rather too quiet for someone. Initially, I felt she was tolerating me, but later, after like 2 yrs she started opening up and sharing stuff. still i didnt liked her in 8 th and 9th grade
In 8th grade, I went to local coaching. There was a girl who had a boy cut and looked so fine in it ( admiration ). I wanted to befriend her really hard, but when I tried to talk to her, she wasn't interested as she had her own social circle
So I gave up after trying 2 times, and instead I kinda looked at her with my friends (other 2 girlies I knew from coaching) that boy cut girly was confident and looking like a guy, like over sized cloths and all and playing with guy friends
I thought to myself if she looks this fine, I should get a haircut too
So I did a boycott, but it didn't suit my face. Never mind mistakes happen, my hair grew to almost the same length as before in like 2 yrs
Later, I had a liking one of my coaching firend she was warm to me a bit comforting and we hung out a lot i want to cafes local food stalls with her i spent the money she didnt she said she would pay back but she didnt i didnt mind she was my firned and i liked her maybe admired her too as she looked good and was nice to me
Once they came to visit me, as they had a scooter and asked if I was into girls out of the blue
I was hesitant, but said yes, i was i cant come out yet, so not to tell anyone.
She told everyone no girllies sat beside me or talked to me, as I was infected, they whispered
When I left coaching in 9 th grade, I naturally was busy with other coaching friends and forget about them
Inforgot school in 10th grade, this school topper girly i felt i was crushing on her but i know it wasnt possible to confess or i be shamed so i kept quite but by her side
but maybe she was seceretive still like i asked what books u used what coaching u went where is ur house lets have group study and what not she never told me anything she said when time will come she will let me know but she never did
Later, I broke off that friendship. I loved her too much, and I couldn't bear her being only my friend.
I wanted to hold hands and hug her, but she was from a conservative family where love marriage is taboo and same-sex attraction is not accepted.
So, why am I this attracted to those who are like this?
#adult
source
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