I need help with getting motivated again after a tough…
0 reactions
I need help with getting motivated again after a tough time
I need help and advice at 24
Before we get started, my life has been a rollercoaster these past few years and I think I’m only realizing now how bad it truly was.
I’ve been a good student throughout most of my education life: elementary school, middle and high school. I was high achieving, but also pretty lazy, so I wasn’t really as interested in grasping things so much as getting a good grade (though I did learn). I wasn’t very social or interactive, and only had 1 true group of friends which comes into effect negatively later.
College comes in and I still don’t know what I want to do at that time. I was 18. I was still not the most sociable. I was not good at networking and connecting with people and employers or the like. I initially started with computer science as my major, but I switched it to psychology with a business minor as it peaked my interest more at the time and I was struggling with computer science.
During college something happened, my brother got bipolar disorder and it was truly terrible. My peers didn’t see it at the time, but its worst effects wouldn’t happen until later when it would affect me and my family. I kept getting ignored by my peers about this and I feel like it did affect my confidence over time.
The worst of it didn’t happen until 2024. I had just graduated with my undergrad with a 3.9 gpa cum laude and wanted to pursue a masters. I’ve been working a part-time job in retail in the meantime, which to this current day has been about 5.6 years. I wanted to find some other work, but it was really difficult to do so.
During that time, my brother with bipolar basically went off the deep end. Mind you that we live in the same room, so there was no escape or door that I could close to have my own space. It was so hard: the emotional harassment, putting a lot of stuff on my parents, subtle threats, and ideations of s\\\*\\\*\\\*\\\*\\\*e (didn’t happen though). All of this put extreme anxiety on myself and my family. It’s been so bad that I had to leave my masters because of how stressed I was, and my lack of confidence in being able to get a job with the masters I would’ve gotten.
My peers didn’t help me out either. They clearly weren’t noticing the signs of him getting high/drunk and it was really affecting me mentally because of how my brother would just take whatever he had from going out back into the house, where I also was. I had basically had to cut most of them off this past year so I wouldn’t get stressed out by them anymore. My support systems are poor now, with just my parents and therapist trying to help me, but I’m still so stuck over what to do.
Present day me is 24, and I’m still struggling to get a handle on myself. I’ve probably gotten so anxious over all of this to the point I’ve lost base with who I am and what I’m good at. I’m struggling to find another job and I really don’t want to go back to school right now. I feel so bad about how I wasted all the years I should’ve paid more attention to. I have been going to careerlink for help, but it’s been two months and I’m scared that time will pass and I’ll just fall behind.
All of my history probably would’ve looked different if I had just done things differently, but now I feel like it’s costing me, even for the things I couldn’t control. I don’t know how to get out of this situation.
Btw if you read this far, you’re the best and thanks for considering
I don’t know what to do and I feel so lost because other people are more confident and moving forward with their lives and I have this paralysis that I can’t shake off.
#inspiration
source
I need help and advice at 24
Before we get started, my life has been a rollercoaster these past few years and I think I’m only realizing now how bad it truly was.
I’ve been a good student throughout most of my education life: elementary school, middle and high school. I was high achieving, but also pretty lazy, so I wasn’t really as interested in grasping things so much as getting a good grade (though I did learn). I wasn’t very social or interactive, and only had 1 true group of friends which comes into effect negatively later.
College comes in and I still don’t know what I want to do at that time. I was 18. I was still not the most sociable. I was not good at networking and connecting with people and employers or the like. I initially started with computer science as my major, but I switched it to psychology with a business minor as it peaked my interest more at the time and I was struggling with computer science.
During college something happened, my brother got bipolar disorder and it was truly terrible. My peers didn’t see it at the time, but its worst effects wouldn’t happen until later when it would affect me and my family. I kept getting ignored by my peers about this and I feel like it did affect my confidence over time.
The worst of it didn’t happen until 2024. I had just graduated with my undergrad with a 3.9 gpa cum laude and wanted to pursue a masters. I’ve been working a part-time job in retail in the meantime, which to this current day has been about 5.6 years. I wanted to find some other work, but it was really difficult to do so.
During that time, my brother with bipolar basically went off the deep end. Mind you that we live in the same room, so there was no escape or door that I could close to have my own space. It was so hard: the emotional harassment, putting a lot of stuff on my parents, subtle threats, and ideations of s\\\*\\\*\\\*\\\*\\\*e (didn’t happen though). All of this put extreme anxiety on myself and my family. It’s been so bad that I had to leave my masters because of how stressed I was, and my lack of confidence in being able to get a job with the masters I would’ve gotten.
My peers didn’t help me out either. They clearly weren’t noticing the signs of him getting high/drunk and it was really affecting me mentally because of how my brother would just take whatever he had from going out back into the house, where I also was. I had basically had to cut most of them off this past year so I wouldn’t get stressed out by them anymore. My support systems are poor now, with just my parents and therapist trying to help me, but I’m still so stuck over what to do.
Present day me is 24, and I’m still struggling to get a handle on myself. I’ve probably gotten so anxious over all of this to the point I’ve lost base with who I am and what I’m good at. I’m struggling to find another job and I really don’t want to go back to school right now. I feel so bad about how I wasted all the years I should’ve paid more attention to. I have been going to careerlink for help, but it’s been two months and I’m scared that time will pass and I’ll just fall behind.
All of my history probably would’ve looked different if I had just done things differently, but now I feel like it’s costing me, even for the things I couldn’t control. I don’t know how to get out of this situation.
Btw if you read this far, you’re the best and thanks for considering
I don’t know what to do and I feel so lost because other people are more confident and moving forward with their lives and I have this paralysis that I can’t shake off.
#inspiration
source
| 4,000 mlx | |
| 6 | |
| 0 |